I have two younger teen boys who are all about special occasions, especially where food is involved. One loves to bake and puts himself in charge of cake. Usually they both give me a handmade card and gifts that just coincidentally happen to be a “share size” of their favorite candies. It’s their love language.

I have one DD who goes out of her way to celebrate me. Always has. My other DD is “happy birthday mom! Do you know where my shoes are?”

We always go out to dinner and open gifts.

Anonymous wrote:I had to fight with my teen yesterday to leave the house for a family outing to celebrate my birthday. Neither kid seems particularly interested in doing anything/making a card/wishing a happy birthday. How mad would you be? I'm tired of having little kids in bigger bodies.

I can't relate to your irritation in the slightest. I don't care about anyone's birthdays, least of all my own. At their request, I have a cake for my birthday, they choose the flavor. That's about it. Teens are stressed and hormonal. If it's that important to you, maybe let them choose the restaurant.

My birthday is like Mother’s Day. At a minimum, I do no chores and get to choose take out dinner. DH gets me an amazing cake. Younger DS makes me something from whatever art class he’s currently taking. Young adult DS sends me a gift or texts. DD texts.

They celebrate and hang out with me all day. Usually homemade cards and sometimes they make a treat. Sometimes they make an escape room or scavenger hunt.

Our family loves celebrating stuff in general.

Anonymous wrote:I had to fight with my teen yesterday to leave the house for a family outing to celebrate my birthday. Neither kid seems particularly interested in doing anything/making a card/wishing a happy birthday. How mad would you be? I'm tired of having little kids in bigger bodies.

I wouldn’t be mad. Disappointed, certainly.

We’re a birthday family. Maybe because everyone on one side of my family shares a birthday with some other relative and on the other side, birthdays are clustered in only three months so celebrations tended to be big gatherings. We were really poor so birthdays were about spending time together rather than presents for one person.

We have two boys and a girl. Our kids are great with birthdays (and in general showing up when it’s important). It is extremely unusual not to get a gift. Cards are iffy. We always spend time together - dinner and something else fun.

I credit my spouse for this. We didn’t celebrate birthdays growing up so I really wasn’t very good at making people feel special. It’s definitely a learned behavior in my experience.

Mine show an okay amount of interest I guess, but I don’t really need them to.

Anonymous wrote:Your an adult, why do you need a bug deal made out of your birthday? And as others have suggested, this is your husband's job, not your kids.

I remind our college kids (2 boys and a girl, I text them), and remind them to call dad on his birthday. I assume he does the same for me

I don't get it. It seems awfully juvenile to want a fuss made about your birthday.

A lot.
Blame your spouse for not stepping up in that dept and guiding them in that space.

Anonymous wrote:This is the job of DH. To show your kids how important this by Doug things himself and helping the kids do it as well. From young to moving out.

I’m a single mom to a 20 yr old son. His dad wasn’t involved so I taught him myself. I’d tell him exactly what I liked or wanted and eventually he learned. Even if their dad is a bump on a lot, teach them yourself. Don’t be pissed off if you haven’t taught them.

Your an adult, why do you need a bug deal made out of your birthday? And as others have suggested, this is your husband's job, not your kids.

I remind our college kids (2 boys and a girl, I text them), and remind them to call dad on his birthday. I assume he does the same for me