Anonymous wrote:depends on what you do for work. you'll get better info asking women in your specific industry as opposed to internet randos.

This. This stuff is highly industry specific.

I took 3 years working extremely part time (like 15 hours a month), and then went back to 80%. It was like I didn't take any time off. I make what I did if I had been working full time during those years, and I don't even have a gap in my resume unless someone really takes a detailed look.

My sister took 2 years at an internal role in her company where she was still working full time, but had more reasonable, predictable hours. At the end of the two years, she was kind of told that she needed to really step it up or she needed to look elsewhere. She ended up finding another job that doesn't pay as well and doesn't have her on the same career trajectory she had previously been on.

It does suck, OP. I really wish we had longer maternity leave. Personally I couldn’t bring myself to leave the workforce, but I switched to a really flexible remote job. My earning potentially is lower now, but it’s so much better for my family. I’m hoping that by staying in the workforce now I can really pull back when my kids are in middle and high school because as PPs have suggested, I suspect those years will be much more logistically challenging.

I found being a sahm to babies and toddlers so much harder than being a working mom to tweens and teens. YMMV.

But in this economy and with all the uncertainty of the next 3 years of this administration? I wouldn’t quit your job, not at all.

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and am now working part time. I was a SAHM for almost a decade. When I originally stopped working, I was trying to take a 1-2 year break. I ended up having another kid. Then Covid happened.

I actually find parenting tweens and teens much more difficult than babies and toddlers. They need you the most. It is easy to miss what is going on with them. Around ages 10-15, these kids change. They can’t drive. If they do any activity or sport, it requires driving. Middle school gets out around 2:30.

My advice is to stay in the workforce and get a very flexible job. I would not leave if you think you will want to go back.

I was planning to go back and never really did. Now AI can do most of what I was really good at a decade ago.

Yes, it's very different parenting tweens and teens. You really need to be physically present for when they have something to talk out, plus all the driving. After school club pick-ups started in late ES, then MS, and in HS the fall sports really get you since practices start in August. There's a late bus for some of those activities, but I get the most conversation in the car.

Looking back, I feel like I had a lucky setup. We had a nanny when DCs were younger and that worked well. I was able to transition to a very flexible job once DCs were in ES. If I couldn't have had a flexible schedule, I would have gone part-time or wanted to quit. DH also pursued a more flexible job a few years ago so our family has a lot of options. I honestly don't know how I could maintain my previous 9-5, in office work schedule that I had. Or at least I would be less happy and more stressed now.

If I could do it again I would have gone back to work and found a nanny or nanny share. I did not want to do drop off daycare and we struggled to justify the cost of a nanny (would have basically been my whole salary) at the time.

On the one hand, I don’t regret staying home and the time spent with my kids. DH traveled a lot so I did almost all of the heavy lifting parenting wise. On the other, I am completely dependent financially on DH, he seems to have forgotten all of the work I did to make our life run/raise the kids, and I’m very frustrated with my options for work. Definitely cannot return to the field I worked in fifteen years ago. Now I’m stuck with extremely low paying part time work—and even there it’s opportunities found only through connections. Not a lot of companies looking for a middle aged lady who has been out of the work force for fifteen years.

Part time is the way if at all possible.

I have 3 kids and am now working part time. I was a SAHM for almost a decade. When I originally stopped working, I was trying to take a 1-2 year break. I ended up having another kid. Then Covid happened.

I actually find parenting tweens and teens much more difficult than babies and toddlers. They need you the most. It is easy to miss what is going on with them. Around ages 10-15, these kids change. They can’t drive. If they do any activity or sport, it requires driving. Middle school gets out around 2:30.

My advice is to stay in the workforce and get a very flexible job. I would not leave if you think you will want to go back.

I was planning to go back and never really did. Now AI can do most of what I was really good at a decade ago.

Mom who thinks she tanked her career too, after taking off 15 months for caregiving following the birth of my second child.

I was an Exec Director at an investment firm.

I now consult part time (15-25 hours a week depending on client load).

I make 25% what I used to make. But I have loved the time to be with my kids while they are little.

I am planning on a FT job search in the new year. We’ll see if I can find something. Nervous.

Anonymous wrote:I’m at the beginning of the having kids phase of life, and I’d really love to be a SAHM for the first 2-3 years of each kids life. However, having multiple kids it would mean I’m out of the workforce for 6-9 years.

I’d hate to shoot myself and my career in the foot trying to return with more than half a decade gap in my resume. I’m not particularly career driven, but I like my job and would like to return to it in the future once my kids are in school or at least prek.

What are the options? Work and send my kids to daycare in order to keep a foot in the door? Take a leap of faith and quit not knowing how hard it’ll be to come back?

Feeling frustrated the way our society sets up mothers. It feels like the only way is to either work during the infant/baby/toddler years or quit and SAHM and never return to your career.

Feeling jealous of other countries that give 1.5-3 years of protected time off from the workforce.

You just described sexism and patriarchy in 2025 perfectly! It is so unfair.

depends on what you do for work. you'll get better info asking women in your specific industry as opposed to internet randos.

Anonymous wrote:So many factors:
1 Keep commute short. Yes, that may mean living in the city.
2 Nursery school, day care, pediatrician in walking distance.
3 Establish a strong career and network before kids
4 Have more childcare than the minimum you need. Do not count childcare solely against your earnings in a two parent home. Also it is an investment in having your career later, not just this year.
6 Have work you like, you won’t want to leave your kids for less.

I used full-time and part-time in-home care but today I would choose day care. I worked part-time til only child was 3. I went out on my own when she was 8 and had maximal flexibility. I made more money than I would have made working for anyone and she got to go to private college and grad school loan-free. Also my husband got to have a financial partner and cushion rather than financial stress and pressure.

This has been important for us. The financial health of the family resting on one person’s shoulders is too much, IMO.

So many factors:
1 Keep commute short. Yes, that may mean living in the city.
2 Nursery school, day care, pediatrician in walking distance.
3 Establish a strong career and network before kids
4 Have more childcare than the minimum you need. Do not count childcare solely against your earnings in a two parent home. Also it is an investment in having your career later, not just this year.
6 Have work you like, you won’t want to leave your kids for less.

I used full-time and part-time in-home care but today I would choose day care. I worked part-time til only child was 3. I went out on my own when she was 8 and had maximal flexibility. I made more money than I would have made working for anyone and she got to go to private college and grad school loan-free. Also my husband got to have a financial partner and cushion rather than financial stress and pressure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely tanked my original career by taking time off, but I also don't regret prioritizing my children...I would have more money if I had stayed, but I am not sure it would have been worth it.

Keeping your career can also be a way of prioritizing your children!

As an older mom, I agree. We paid for med school for one kid and we'll pay grad school for the other and we will also provide down payment for both. We've always had a great relationship, so me working was not detrimental.

We had a nanny share and worked great for us.

Anonymous wrote:I definitely tanked my original career by taking time off, but I also don't regret prioritizing my children...I would have more money if I had stayed, but I am not sure it would have been worth it.

Keeping your career can also be a way of prioritizing your children!