First boy - 16 months, easy as pie.
Second boy - 3? Not easy as pie. Did not care. Was not interested.

One advantage to training later is that kids have larger bladders and can go longer between bathroom trips. They can also be more independent with the actual act of using the toilet.

Younger kids can be more malleable and do what you tell them to do more easily, but if you go diaper-free with an 18 mo old, you will likely be doing a lot of toilet visits and a lot of kids still need help with pants/underwear at that age. Also while they are fine with the little training toilets, this age struggles with real toilets because they are so small, so you might train but then have to carry around a training potty for a year or more.

Older kids can be a bit harder to train because they are more opinionated and can be in a defiant stage, but you won't have to drag around a training potty as long and they are less likely to urgently need to pee every time you leave the house.

I personally prefer training kids later because I don't like the maintenance demands of having kid potty trained before they hit 2. But there's no right or wrong. As long as your kid is trained before they start school, you're fine.

I tried a couple times starting at 2, it stuck at about 2 and 9 months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between 18 months and 2 years. Started changing both kids while standing up before that I think--once they were walking.

The key is confidence. Yours and theirs.

Millennial parents seem to like to wait until they can talk the kid into it instead of just showing them and encouraging them starting when they are younger. Once you have a fully verbal preschooler, the negotiation/bribe route works well on the mental front, but they have spent 3 years learning to use a diaper, so it can be hard for them to retrain their bodies and recognize when they need to go.

You aren't that late, but you just have to decide to be a good coach and gas her up instead of making it into some horrible task that you all are facing.

Op here, Thank you! I came in with all the confidence. We started in August with no real approach, September we tried the oh crap method, naked for a whole week and mostly accidents exhausted her and myself. Throughout October we have tried through weekends and evenings and have tried bribery, candy for success, a big prize at the end. She just stubbornly was not getting it. It was the point where we started to get tantrums to just getting her to sit on the potty.

I need to get my energy back as well, I do feel a bit beaten.

If you have tantrums sitting on the potty then drop it. You do not want a power struggle. Leave the little potty or potties in whatever bathroom. I also allowed my girls in the bathroom with me when I went in there and sometimes they just sat on the little potty for fun. But just stop and stop talking about it for at least a month. Hard reset.

3.5 for my twin girls, waited until they were ready. Listen to your gut and leave it for now, enjoy Christmas not having to worry about accidents or arguments

Anonymous wrote:My girls were about 3 when they were day trained and I had them in night pull-ups until they were about 7 - super heavy sleepers. Both are extremely bright and developed normally. Potty training timing means nothing. Ignore these people who want to put down your kids or your parenting. By middle school the real difference show big time - my late potty trainers turned out to be award winning swimmers and academics - not so good at piano and ballet.

Op here - this warmed my heart, she is so good, this is the big developmental block we can't break. I didn't know it would take longer for night as well I hoped that would happen at the same time. Congrats on your amazing girls, my girl is book obsessed and showing such a personality in other areas

Anonymous wrote:Between 18 months and 2 years. Started changing both kids while standing up before that I think--once they were walking.

The key is confidence. Yours and theirs.

Millennial parents seem to like to wait until they can talk the kid into it instead of just showing them and encouraging them starting when they are younger. Once you have a fully verbal preschooler, the negotiation/bribe route works well on the mental front, but they have spent 3 years learning to use a diaper, so it can be hard for them to retrain their bodies and recognize when they need to go.

You aren't that late, but you just have to decide to be a good coach and gas her up instead of making it into some horrible task that you all are facing.

Op here, Thank you! I came in with all the confidence. We started in August with no real approach, September we tried the oh crap method, naked for a whole week and mostly accidents exhausted her and myself. Throughout October we have tried through weekends and evenings and have tried bribery, candy for success, a big prize at the end. She just stubbornly was not getting it. It was the point where we started to get tantrums to just getting her to sit on the potty.

I need to get my energy back as well, I do feel a bit beaten.

My girls were about 3 when they were day trained and I had them in night pull-ups until they were about 7 - super heavy sleepers. Both are extremely bright and developed normally. Potty training timing means nothing. Ignore these people who want to put down your kids or your parenting. By middle school the real difference show big time - my late potty trainers turned out to be award winning swimmers and academics - not so good at piano and ballet.

Three years old. No problems.

Between 18 months and 2 years. Started changing both kids while standing up before that I think--once they were walking.

The key is confidence. Yours and theirs.

Millennial parents seem to like to wait until they can talk the kid into it instead of just showing them and encouraging them starting when they are younger. Once you have a fully verbal preschooler, the negotiation/bribe route works well on the mental front, but they have spent 3 years learning to use a diaper, so it can be hard for them to retrain their bodies and recognize when they need to go.

You aren't that late, but you just have to decide to be a good coach and gas her up instead of making it into some horrible task that you all are facing.

My first (boy) wasn't fully potty trained until almost 3.5. It took over a year (we started at a little over two). I wish I'd started later, and I wish I'd just gone totally 100% back to diapers when things weren't working. So to my experience, I think what you're doing is smart.

My second (girl) was miles more mature, so we started at just shy of 2.5, but she had been asking to use the potty for a few months and we were saying no, so it seemed silly not to just do it. Once we started we used Oh Crap (except no night training yet) and she was 100% trained in a long weekend.

Third is a boy - he's not there yet, but I would be VERY reluctant to start before 2.5.

Maybe you're right that people are being condescending, but I'd bet good money they aren't, and you're just feeling a bit sensitive and raw about all this. Really, it's okay. You're doing fine. Not all kids do things at the same time and that's totally fine. If you want to post about what approach you took and what results you have, people on this board might have some good advice as to whether you need a new approach or just need to try again in a few months.

For what it's worth, I believe the key is no bottoms. The vast majority of kids are not going to like pee/poop running down their legs, and that gives them the motivation they need. That was what finally got us over the hump with our older son - we had to completely take away pullups/underwear/diapers (except at night) and he was SO upset he cried for literally HOURS but gave up on day two and pooped in the potty. For my daughter, we had her completely bottomless 100% of the time, at home, for three full days. Did not leave the house during that time. And then it was just loose pants for like over a month. We waited until we were confident to give her those undies!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids really aren't ready until they're a bit older.

My oldest DD potty trained at around 2.5 with zero issues. I tried potty training my second DD at 2.5, and it was a complete disaster. I stopped and waiting until she was just over 3, and she potty trained with zero issues, very quickly, almost no accidents.

We used the Oh Crap method, which is great, but I think it also puts too much pressure to potty train early and fear mongers parents that if their kids aren't trained by 3, they'll never get it. This isn't true. Some kids really do just need to develop a bit more before they're ready.

Op here- thank you , we were gifted the oh crap book by someone in the group. Spent a whole week off at start of fall and didn't get past the naked phase and she was becoming incredible irritated and resistant, so I had to stop. I will give it a try again, it seems lots find this method works

I have two kids. My older one refused to
poop for 2 days when we tried oh crap. Then it hurt to poop (even in a diaper). He was great about peeing in the potty, but wanted nothing to do with poopy in it. We tried at 24 mos, again at 30 mos, again at 36 mos. If we put a diaper/pullup on at night, he wld just poop there (which was better than withholding, but not great).

A few mos after he turned 3, we set a date, let him pick out special supplies, and told him diapers were all gone. He cried the first day and tried to poop in a corner, but made it to the potty. He has had almost zero accidents. He was a late summer bday kid, so there was more pressure it seemed to get him trained in time for PK. But he went from totally not trained to completely independent toileting in a day (ok needed help w wiping but otherwise independent). He didn’t want rewards and didn’t wanna talk about potty training.

My daughter wants to do everything like her brother, and at 22 mos was lining up dolls to put on the potty, asking to sit on the potty, etc. There was a wknd arnd 23 mos my husband and older kid were away, so we trained then. She hated the sensation of poop in a diaper so much she gagged, and then pretty quickly got that it was less gross in the potty. She told literally every person she saw that weekend that she poops on the potty
now. She still needs help w reminders to go, sometimes help getting clothes up, etc, but four mos out has done really well. I can’t remember the last time she had an accident, whether at home w me or a sitter or staying w my folks.

Daycare is a big issue, she had two months of <1 accident a week in the younger class but when they moved her up it was (& is) awful. She has daily accidents. The 12 kid class is a mess. But she comes home and does well. I’m trying to move her to another daycare, as this room just seems terribly understaffed. She’s also the only one who uses the potty (kids are mostly turning 3 btwn Dec-April).

All that to say— it is so kid dependent. But also, starting later means in many cases a shorter period of potty training. My son never did pull ups, never had to bring extra clothes places etc.

With my son I worried he wld never potty train and it wld impact school. It didn’t, but potty training 8 mos before he had to be totally independent felt scary.

My oldest was a couple of months shy of 3.

I was frustrated and I'd had a couple of attempts before and thought this will never happen. But once it did, it took just 3 days and he never had an accident after that.

My youngest was around 2 years, 8 months.

So no, OP, you aren't too late!

Anonymous wrote:My kid trained right around her 4th birthday. We started training at 2.5, maybe a little before. It was a frustrating process, but it's actually how I learned how she likes to do things. She doesn't have any developmental delays but we definitely worried at the time she did. But she's just someone who needs time to acclimate to a big change, and cannot be pressured/forced in the meantime (oh crap was a total failure for us, that actually pulled us way off track and probably set us back 6-12 months because she hated it so much). Once I understood that, I approach things in a more hands off way, where I give her info and options and then just kind of leave her alone until she's ready.

But I remember feeling judged by other parents when I had a 3 yr old in diapers. I think mostly it was in my head but that maybe a few parents were genuinely judgmental about it. In the long run it doesn't matter because even if your kid trains easily at 20 months or whatever, you WILL be humbled by some other parenting task at some point. That's just how it goes. So it doesn't last, and also you learn not to be bothered by the smug parents.

Op here - thank you for sharing being my first I do feel lost. I am glad there are others who were still a way off, your DD sounds like she has an amazing personality!

Anonymous wrote:12 months old I started.

Op here- you did it even before the most eager in the group wow, I'm very impressed