Anonymous
10/31/2025 19:17
Subject: Re:Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
Not at all. DS1 has ADHD inattentive type and executive functioning disorder. Much of high school was him scrambling at the end of the quarters to turn in late work, etc, in order to not get a C or worse. It's gotten better senior year. But he's still solidly an A/B student.
DS 2 is a freshman and has been a straight A student until now. He has 2 B's this quarter. I'm not stressed and he's not stressed because he's motivated and understands the system. But he understands that he should -- and most importantly he has his own internal drive -- to end the semester with all A's. Mainly because it's very easy for him to do.
Different expectations for different kids. But at the end of the day, no, not upset.
DS 2 is a freshman and has been a straight A student until now. He has 2 B's this quarter. I'm not stressed and he's not stressed because he's motivated and understands the system. But he understands that he should -- and most importantly he has his own internal drive -- to end the semester with all A's. Mainly because it's very easy for him to do.
Different expectations for different kids. But at the end of the day, no, not upset.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 17:42
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
No I'm not emotionally invested in my kids grades
Anonymous
10/31/2025 17:40
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
Yes if I feel like they didn’t try hard.
One of my kids had a couple of Bs but worked her butt off for those in classes that were very challenging for her and I was proud of those Bs because they were her best.
One of my kids had a couple of Bs but worked her butt off for those in classes that were very challenging for her and I was proud of those Bs because they were her best.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 17:39
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
Anonymous wrote:Not upset, because I know my kids always try to do their best.
But concerned, definitely, especially in high school.
We chose to be part of the college admissions rat race. If you choose that too, then every grade matters. It's the first criteria colleges look at, because in their minds a high GPA shows stamina and dedication. Test scores are very important, and show applied knowledge (with some native intelligence thrown in): but they're a snapshot in time. Colleges are looking for the ability to work diligently for many years, since that's what's required to graduate from college, and also to be successful in one's career.
When you say “we chose”, do you mean you and your spouse or you and your child. I feel like a lot of this is foisted on kids.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 17:29
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not upset, because I know my kids always try to do their best.
But concerned, definitely, especially in high school.
We chose to be part of the college admissions rat race. If you choose that too, then every grade matters. It's the first criteria colleges look at, because in their minds a high GPA shows stamina and dedication. Test scores are very important, and show applied knowledge (with some native intelligence thrown in): but they're a snapshot in time. Colleges are looking for the ability to work diligently for many years, since that's what's required to graduate from college, and also to be successful in one's career.
Me again. Perhaps you don't know this, OP, but being the best student your kid can be reaps financial benefit. Most kids, despite their best efforts, aren't cut out to be Ivy League material, and even if they were, they won't be picked. So parents who push for academic rigor in high school aren't necessarily parents gunning for the Ivy League. What a lot of them are looking for is relief from high college costs. Having a great GPA and solid test scores can attract merit aid that otherwise would not be forthcoming, and this can make the difference between attending a preferred school vs only having in-state choices. Even in-state colleges give out merit aid to kids who they think are a flight risk to "better" institutions.
So maybe you're wealthy and don't care where your kids attend college. Maybe your kids have other plans and college is not one of them. But for a large chunk of the middle class who won't get a lot of financial aid and can't swing sticker price at privates... good grades are important.
My high school kid is an A / B student. We can afford full tuition so we don’t have to worry there. I’m happy with her effort and results. Just like not everyone can score a 1550 SAT not everyone can get As in every subject.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 17:21
Subject: Re:Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
Anonymous wrote:So sadly Bs can derail college chances. It’s not just admissions but merit aid too. With the economy in the dumpster and the price of college so high, competition for in state is crazy. Along with competition for scholarships and merit aid.
If retakes are allowed, many of the other kids with Bs are doing a retake. Your kid would end up being toward the bottom for not taking advantage of the retake option.
It’s a horrible environment for kids and very different than when we were in high school.
Bs do not derail college chances. That’s just wrong. If your child is routinely getting Bs then she’s a B student and there are more than enough colleges for them.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 17:16
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
I do get upset with her sometimes because I know what she has been doing with her time, and it's not studying for the upcoming test.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 16:55
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
No. My kid has ADHD and I’m happy with As or Bs. She might not get into a “ top” college by dcum standards and that’s ok.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 16:49
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, because when my kid gets a B, it's for issues that we are trying to improve before college, like not checking their work, or rushing through an assignment.
This. If it were due to not fully understanding the work and trying their hardest it’s fine. More often than not for us, it’s what’s detailed above.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 16:23
Subject: Re:Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
Upset? No.
Retakes? Encouraged. Why settle when there's another opportunity right there?
Retakes? Encouraged. Why settle when there's another opportunity right there?
Anonymous
10/31/2025 16:17
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
What school would even allow that?!
Anonymous
10/31/2025 16:15
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
What if your kid tries their best? Sheesh.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 15:50
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
Anonymous wrote:If they are working their tails off, no. Otherwise, yeah, so most of the time, yeah.
This. My kid gets Bs when they miss assignments, turn in work late, don't study, etc.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 15:38
Subject: Re:Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
All of this is a lot more complicated than my kid had to get all As to get into a good college. Which isn't true and also your kids who got all As aren't necessarily getting into what you define as a good college.
So to answer your Q, no I don't get upset when my kid gets a B.
So to answer your Q, no I don't get upset when my kid gets a B.
Anonymous
10/31/2025 15:38
Subject: Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?
No but my kid gets an F every now and then so.