Are you the poster in her 30s with the older sister and you both live with your mom?

Not enough info
But it is time to move out. You are an adult (even if you don’t “feel” like it)

Anonymous wrote:No, it's a toxic co-dependency.
You are just as much to blame as they are. One of you needs to liberate the other by moving out.

No, with a toxic co-dependency the blame is definitely more on the parent. That said, it’s not good. You need to figure out what you need to do in order to move out.

Does anyone want to be your roommate?

Will you pay the rent and utilities and not be a slob?

Are you homeless OP?

Anonymous wrote:Is it toxic/ or manipulative for parents to on one hand say that they dont want me to move out because they will be so sad and then the next day cuss me out saying im too old to act a certain way and its time to grow up.

This goes on all the time. It has to be mental abuse right? Cause i dont feel great

Grow up. No.

The best way to stop people from “cussing you out for acting a certain way” is to stop acting that way and fix your bad habits.

Move out. Get your own place to live.

Anonymous wrote:Parents being sad is no reason to ruin your life.

This is so true! So many adult children think that by acting a certain way they can cure their parents’ “sadness”. The reality is that such parents will find something else to be sad about, while the adult child suffers in silence.
You are not responsible for other adults’ feelings! Yes you have to have some common decency of course but no aligning with every expectation of theirs

Of course they’ll be sad if you move out. But that’s part of life. They will adjust.

Move out. There may be reasons it will be harder to do so, but ultimately, if they are acting this way, two things:

1) They’re not mature or respectful enough to handle problems when they arise.

2) While it may be true that they love you and like having you around, it’s clearly a stressor that you’re still there.

Why haven’t you moved out?

I'm assuming there was an inciting incident for the second occurrence.

So... what'd you do?

If you all want to live with together then write down a mutually agreed upon agreement with details of how much would it cost, what are the house rules and what are the boundaries of each person.

If you are freeloading and not covering your share of expenses and chores or not following house rules as a roomate then loving you and getting annoyed can happen simultaneously.