Crazy how some of these are legit red flags and others say more about the PP’s unrealistic standards (their own red flag). Like there is a world of difference between prison time and not having a big savings account in your 20s …

Red flags are generally behaviors that are far outside the norm of what you would expect for a normal person at the beginning of a relationship or dating. Things like showing up very late, oogling other women openly, getting angry with little provocation, drastic inability to do basic self care (eg house in disarray), not caring if words/actions are upsetting, reacting to disagreements with denial or aggression.

- Being rude to the people around you (waitstaff, etc.)

- Talking badly about an ex

- Not taking their job seriously

- Not having any friends

- Wanting to spend time with only you, not other friends

- Getting upset if you don't answer their calls/text them back quickly enough

These are the ones I can think of that I avoided when dating, but this was two decades ago

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Walking ahead of me.

Guy here. I can't help it. My legs are long and my natural pace is faster than my DW of 20+years. Somehow we've made it work!

Wife of 20+ years (maybe yours) whose husband does this. IT F-ing RUDE!!! Stop it - we’re not in the Middle East where women have to walk behind you! If we end up divorced this is one of the reasons.

I have a similar situation with my DH. He walks FAST, has long legs and has the good fortune of being in better physical shape than I am. I have arthritis but do keep as active as possible and can walk a couple of miles, as long as it's at my pace.

He is lucky to have good genes and comes from a family where going on 8+ hour non-stop hikes per day is the norm, even for those in their 70s, and sometimes at high altitudes. I simply cannot do that.

Trying to keep up with him was painful, tiring and frustrating. He would stop from time to time, look back at me and have this look of pity on his face while he waited for me to catch up. I couldn't stand that either.

Some may say he should slow down and only do what I can do but that isn't really fair either when he would like to go on a faster, longer hike than I can manage.

Now I just tell him to go ahead without me or I take a shorter path and will meet up with him later. I don't have a problem with this. Physical limitations will hit all couples as they age. Figuring out what works is a collaborative effort.

Divorced with kids.
Is already supporting parents.
Is a fanatic golfer or has some other time consuming hobby that makes them unavailable even in the honeymoon stage of dating.
Doesn’t like your family of origin.
Controlling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Walking ahead of me.

Guy here. I can't help it. My legs are long and my natural pace is faster than my DW of 20+years. Somehow we've made it work!

You’re an idiot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Walking ahead of me.

Guy here. I can't help it. My legs are long and my natural pace is faster than my DW of 20+years. Somehow we've made it work!

Wife of 20+ years (maybe yours) whose husband does this. IT F-ing RUDE!!! Stop it - we’re not in the Middle East where women have to walk behind you! If we end up divorced this is one of the reasons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pooping in the fridge

Man, I’d like to think this is a joke, but I did briefly date a guy once who, a week into dating, told me all the stories about how he pooped his pants. Then he started sending me reports on his poop - color, size, consistency, number of wipes, etc.

He was SO hot but this instantly killed all my attraction to him. Whyyyyy do people behave like this?!

Mental illness. Often extremely mentally ill people can go a long time unchecked because they are very attractive.

You think so? He and his friends were like that, always talking about their bathroom habits. It was so gross. I don’t want to be treated like one of the guys.

Ok, I’d rule out mental illness AND immaturity. I don’t need any of that poop in my life.

Anonymous wrote:1. Mean to service people
2. Yell when upset even if not “at” you
3. Weird relationship with mom
4. No same gender friends
5. No friends at all
6. As someone else said, obsession with luxury brands
7. Overly religious- this doesn’t have to be an actual religion- it could be Star Wars. It’s when their “thing” is a little too all-consuming.

All these things and I would add:
- bad childhood because abuse is cyclical. If it’s obvious they’ve forms ton of work, maybe I can see past it, but men usually don’t work on themselves like that.
- talking bad about relationships (they chose that person at one point)

Young men - When a girl has a decent job but zero savings. I didn’t mind throwing down for the down payment and shifting to joint accounts. But a live in the moment, it will all work out in the end mindset, without concern for money is destined to live paycheck to paycheck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Walking ahead of me.

Guy here. I can't help it. My legs are long and my natural pace is faster than my DW of 20+years. Somehow we've made it work!

Yes you can, you selfish and inconsiderate dolt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pooping in the fridge

Man, I’d like to think this is a joke, but I did briefly date a guy once who, a week into dating, told me all the stories about how he pooped his pants. Then he started sending me reports on his poop - color, size, consistency, number of wipes, etc.

He was SO hot but this instantly killed all my attraction to him. Whyyyyy do people behave like this?!

Mental illness. Often extremely mentally ill people can go a long time unchecked because they are very attractive.

Agree, mental illness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pooping in the fridge

Man, I’d like to think this is a joke, but I did briefly date a guy once who, a week into dating, told me all the stories about how he pooped his pants. Then he started sending me reports on his poop - color, size, consistency, number of wipes, etc.

He was SO hot but this instantly killed all my attraction to him. Whyyyyy do people behave like this?!

Mental illness. Often extremely mentally ill people can go a long time unchecked because they are very attractive.

You think so? He and his friends were like that, always talking about their bathroom habits. It was so gross. I don’t want to be treated like one of the guys.

Anonymous wrote:Walking ahead of me.

Guy here. I can't help it. My legs are long and my natural pace is faster than my DW of 20+years. Somehow we've made it work!

Overly political

Prison time. She was super friendly, cute, and fun in bed.. but she also did over a year in MD prison for drug posession and DUI (was not her first drug offense, that's why). She was clean when we dated, but still.

She did have some interesting stories from prison though...