I have a 13 year old, 9 year old and 6 year old and that post resonated with me too. I truly can’t believe how fast the past 13 years went by, even though in the small moments it often felt so hard and unrelenting.

DH and I both have corporate jobs that are not very flexible so we are learning to be more mindful of the time we aren’t at work so we can be more present for our kids.

I think the most impactful thing we have been doing for the past 2 years is taking 1-2 great vacations per year to show our kids the world. We are fully unplugged from work and don’t have the same level of stress, so we can enjoy it and so can our kids. I am not saying you need to spend a ton of money on fancy trips, I am saying to carve out dedicated time to make meaningful memories and do fun things together in a different setting from home. And do it for more than a long weekend if you can.

Anonymous wrote:Now in the teenage years I totally agree to do less worrying in the early years. I rarely let my kids miss school to travel in elementary and now look back and think, why not? We rarely missed a soccer game- why? I wanted my kids to understand that school came first and if you made a commitment you stuck to it but I think I took that too far.

Agree to take lots of videos- I really wish we had more.

Encourage friendships with the kids and families you like. Some of them will stick.

For us the phrase “little kids, little problems” was true (tho I understand lots of families have little kids with big problems). I look back now and wish I had realized those little problems weren’t worth worrying about.

The bolded is what I keep coming back to when I think about things I wish I had done differently. I remember getting so frustrated with them if we were running late for some activity. I hate being late and I thought it was important to teach them to be prompt, but I should have been a bit more chill about it in general and given everything more time than I thought we needed. Because no, the world wouldn't actually have ended if we were late to gymnastics class every once in a while.

I think the best ways to enjoy the little kid years are to be flexible and not sweat the small stuff. Your kids won’t pay attention to or appreciate your home being immaculate at all times, but they will have fond memories of the times you dropped everything for some spontaneous fun.

Say yes whenever it’s feasible. Messy craft? Say yes if you have the bandwidth to clean it up. You were planning to cook dinner tonight but another family invited your family to dinner? Say yes if you can. Obviously, don’t say yes to everything. If your kids want a dog but you don’t, definitely say no, but if they request something reasonable and easily doable, say yes.

I have a 9 year old and 3 year old and I can see on the horizon my oldest is almost grown out of that little kid phase, but she’s hanging on to it. The most special thing I do with my kids is most nights, I spend an hour reading and talking to each one, separately, as I put them to bed. Younger one first and then older’s turn. For my older DD the time is so special to both of us and it’s the time of day she opens up to me about everything going on and what she’s feeling. I will read to her for as long as she’ll let me. And I hope my younger DD will develop the same special bond with me from this time spent together.

We also have traditions on the holidays that we love and but our weekends tend to be pretty ordinary/filled with sports.

Now in the teenage years I totally agree to do less worrying in the early years. I rarely let my kids miss school to travel in elementary and now look back and think, why not? We rarely missed a soccer game- why? I wanted my kids to understand that school came first and if you made a commitment you stuck to it but I think I took that too far.

Agree to take lots of videos- I really wish we had more.

Encourage friendships with the kids and families you like. Some of them will stick.

For us the phrase “little kids, little problems” was true (tho I understand lots of families have little kids with big problems). I look back now and wish I had realized those little problems weren’t worth worrying about.

The best way to appreciate the young years of your kids’ lives:

Be perfectly healthy and full of energy so you can be active and energetic with them
Have worked out all your issues and trauma prior to having kids, so you can be emotionally perfect for them
Have a good, flexible job and lots of money so you can be low stress and enjoy them
Have a robust support network to help you
Read lots of books and understand toddler psychology well so you can sail through tough ages
Have generally easy kids

It’s that simple!

Most people will not have the ability to, stop and smell the roses all day, every day. But do stop and feel gratitude as much as you can, for what you have in the moment.

I had three under 4. With my 3rd, I took an extended unpaid maternity leave for five extra months, so a total of 11 months. (I know, a total privilege!)

That year was the hardest of my life. But I used the app 1 second everyday to record a 1 second video or photo of what we did every day. Some days that was outings and parks. Some days that was just sitting on the living floor inhaling coffee while chaos unfolded around me. But those few minute videos that I kept up for a couple years were the BEST memory and recollection of the good the bad and the ugly of those baby years. I can look back and really soak up what we all lived through and appreciate those little moments.

Highly recommend lots of photos and videos of the mundane!!

I also work full time but have some flexibility. I show up and volunteer at my kids’ schools when they need a parent to present about some holiday/ culture etc, and whenever extra helpers are needed with field trips, environment week, etc. I bring snacks! Always a hit.
I also love to lean in to their enthusiasm for occasions such as thanksgiving, Halloween, winter holidays and do costume making, decorating and baking with them that is such a fun and meaningful way to spend time.