I think changing the idea that wine is a treat for you is a good one- and can understand it may be hard to do. I found that understanding what alcohol does to your body physically helped me realize that after drinking people are lower mentally and physically. Read “The alcohol experiment” and she explains exactly what happens to your body and mind. Then when you think, “I need to relax, I’ll have a glass of wine,” you’ll also tell yourself- nope, old news- I’ll feel more stressed -physically and hormonally- after drinking so that isn’t a good way to relax. Get out your crystal, pour whatever drink you feel like and take a beat. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:>>A gift to myself has been therapy to change my mindset so I dont think I need a reward when I have a hard day

Intriguing. But don’t you get all stressed out and feel like you need something to release it?

Exercise does it for me. I truly feel lucky to be able to move my body.

NA beer satisfies my taste for something that is not coffee/water.

Otherwise, agree on herbal tea and mocktails

Exercise or binge watch mindless shows on Netflix.

Alcohol makes me sleep crappy, gives me a headache, and is generally unhelpful so why would I use it to de-stress at this age. I KNOW I will regret it. It’s just a bad coping mechanism.

I use sugar, but that's also not great for you.
Trying to replace that with tea.

It’s not a good sign if you are truly using alcohol as a reward or distresser but kudos to you for doing something about it. GLP1’s can help curb your cravings.

I switched from alcohol to kombucha.

Anonymous wrote:At some point my mind switched. If I have a bad day, I deserve to double down on things that are good for me (or not terrible). Hard cardio. Favorite take out. A fluffy book. Call/texting with a friend. Early bedtime.

Yes this is me too. Having a drink after a long day used to be relaxing, but now the side effects are enough that is increases my anxiety to drink (because I don't sleep well and I now know on a more intense level how bad it is for me). So I just don't reward myself or do something to "unwind". I just...take a shower and go to bed.

Even a year ago I was drinking much more than I do now and once I broke a few habits, I don't miss it. I do miss how it made me feel. But it doesn't make me feel that way anymore. I also learned I really was looking forward to Friday night cocktail hour a bit too much. Now I don't even think about.

Anonymous wrote:>>You should try AA meetings after work.

Something to consider. It feels more like a bad habit that I can probably replace with a different habit. I will try some of the nonalcoholic drink suggestions!

>> If I have a bad day, I deserve to double down on things that are good for me (or not terrible).

I love this!

>> Stop thinking you need a reward for a day

Reward wasn’t really the right word. It’s more shaking off the stress of nonstop zooms and calls and relaxing.

Consider what brings you joy. Dancing brings me joy so based on your description, the reward would be listening to upbeat music and dancing around until I’ve burned off all that extra energy. OR, listening to mellow music and moving/swaying/dancing.

For “shaking off the stress” - I think you might need something physical - dancing, running, cycling, gym time, aerobics class

For “relaxing” - again, look to your joy but for me that would be something creative - yarn work (knitting/crocheting/embroidery) or cooking/baking or puzzles or dog/cat videos or carpentry/building something. Maybe a game - ever play wingspan? Some people might like a bubble bath or massage.

I also agree with chocolate - but for me, that does not bring any lasting response, just enjoyment in the moment. If I want to de-stress or relax, I want to do something with a lasting effect that leaves me depleted of the stress or blissed out and relaxed.

Anonymous wrote:How is sparkling water a reward? It’s just carbonated water that was once barely adjacent to something fruity. You could have it literally anytime. Pop the can and done.

At least put some effort in. OP, do you like tea? What about high-quality loose leaf tea with lemon, honey, all that jazz?

Pellegrino with lime is delicious. You could also add a tiny bit of agave syrup and you get a fizzy, fruity, delicious drink.

youstart to realize drinking wasnt a reward. It was self inflicted bodily punishment

Compass decafe espresso with spssh or cream or whipped cream.

Decafe teas. I can make english breakfast into chait with milk and cinnamon.

Dark chocolate. I split a bar with my son this evening and it hit the spot. And a cup of herbal tea.

>>You should try AA meetings after work.

Something to consider. It feels more like a bad habit that I can probably replace with a different habit. I will try some of the nonalcoholic drink suggestions!

>> If I have a bad day, I deserve to double down on things that are good for me (or not terrible).

I love this!

>> Stop thinking you need a reward for a day

Reward wasn’t really the right word. It’s more shaking off the stress of nonstop zooms and calls and relaxing.

You have an addiction.