Anonymous wrote:Is he ASD and you are in denial? Is cleaning himself a sensory experience he finds painful or too unpleasant? There are things to do for that but just assuming he likes to stink isn't one of them. Did you bury the lede?

Not on the spectrum. Was tested multiple times as a kid.

Is he ASD and you are in denial? Is cleaning himself a sensory experience he finds painful or too unpleasant? There are things to do for that but just assuming he likes to stink isn't one of them. Did you bury the lede?

If he has anxiety honestly reeking with rotting teeth and bad breath is not going to smooth interactions with peers.

If he has anxiety - I don’t know - does he need a clear checklist of basic hygiene? In addition to subtle or not subtle parent comments, would he benefit from (would it calm some anxiety) to have a clear this is what most healthy people do each day list?

I’d be worried about his mental health as other pps said but barring that I think you need to back off (although you’re of course right the should shower and brush teeth, etc!)

It’s not that he doesn’t know those things he’s not doing it for other reasons and I would be concerned if you bring it up all the time he will stop talking to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he should improve his hygiene, but I’d be very concerned about his mental health if this is unusual for him. Was he different in any other ways? Any other signs he’s struggling?

Thank you for asking. He’s taking anti-anxiety meds but this no showering/teeth brushing long proceeds college.

Then why would you expect it to change?

Was hoping that he would mature in college/experience some peer pressure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also asked him to arrive to one of the events showered and in clean clothes. He came smelling of bo wearing the same shirt as the day before but different jeans.

OP what was the event? Did you need/want to stay for it? Could you have said, "I'll attend the event if you shower and wear clean clothes"? And when he didn't, could you have followed through?

Not going to threaten as I don't think it would be effective. Maybe asking if he's run out of deodorant would be a better play.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he should improve his hygiene, but I’d be very concerned about his mental health if this is unusual for him. Was he different in any other ways? Any other signs he’s struggling?

Thank you for asking. He’s taking anti-anxiety meds but this no showering/teeth brushing long proceeds college.

Then why would you expect it to change?

The other kids may just avoid him instead of saying anything.

Anonymous wrote:Stop OP
He’s an adult
He’s doing fine you are the problem
If it bothered the other kids he’d shower more

He's not an adult if Mommy is paying for college.

Anonymous wrote:The idea that you would care about a person and not tell them they have noticeable BO is nuts to me. I don't need friends and family like any of you people.

This. I'd even tell strangers they reek and they need to leave if they stink in a public place.

Anonymous wrote:The idea that you would care about a person and not tell them they have noticeable BO is nuts to me. I don't need friends and family like any of you people.

I agree. I have a 16 year old who is not too keen on showering either, and I tell him without an ounce of reservation that he stinks and no one wants to be around that. I am his parent and it's my job to tell him stuff like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen how dirty many younger kids are these days? Unkempt beards, girls with leg and pit hair and even facial hair. Boys with hair a muss and BO, and even girls with BO and cats following them.

Being gross apparently is the cool thing now. It's probably weed.

Oh no!!!! The horrors. Girls with leg hair and pit hair!!!!!!!!!!! Totally unaccaptable. Especailly if followed by cats.

lol about the cats

My dd doesn’t shave. I’m not a fan. But it’s not a hygiene thing. Her father and teen brother dont shave his pits or legs and they are hygienic and don’t smell.

Of course hairly legs and pits are not a hygene issue. Not washing properly is. Who cares if girls don't shave!

Society
Boys
Other girls often enough

The idea that you would care about a person and not tell them they have noticeable BO is nuts to me. I don't need friends and family like any of you people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen how dirty many younger kids are these days? Unkempt beards, girls with leg and pit hair and even facial hair. Boys with hair a muss and BO, and even girls with BO and cats following them.

Being gross apparently is the cool thing now. It's probably weed.

Oh no!!!! The horrors. Girls with leg hair and pit hair!!!!!!!!!!! Totally unaccaptable. Especailly if followed by cats.

lol about the cats

My dd doesn’t shave. I’m not a fan. But it’s not a hygiene thing. Her father and teen brother dont shave his pits or legs and they are hygienic and don’t smell.

Of course hairly legs and pits are not a hygene issue. Not washing properly is. Who cares if girls don't shave!