Anonymous wrote:Asking for your references is not the same as calling them. We ask a lot of candidates for a reference list. We read it to see who they listed and if we know anyone. If we actually call it is generally because we are down to 2 or 3 candidates though.

So. Antiquated.

My partner had references called and didn’t get an offer once. Was ghosted and never rejected either!

Figured out it was most likely one of the references who gave a mixed or negative reference (has a written glowing reference from grad school from same person).

Reason I feel is, another colleague who is close friends with said reference ended up with the role. I ended up looking up who got the role and I couldn’t believe this person got the role! Only in it for one year though.

If you can only give someone a negative reference the right thing to do is say you can’t give one.

Anonymous wrote:A job candidate once provided us with 3 references. One of them trashed the candidate. I was pretty shocked. We did not extend the offer. Not having sufficient self-awareness to know what your references think about you is pretty damning.

As a hiring manager I always check references before an offer is made. Sometimes it is all good. Sometimes the reference will give a mixed review. Sometimes I hear a negative review.

In Silicon Valley, the written policy all over is to only confirm position and dates of employment. HR staff and executives will always adhere to this for liability reasons. The unwritten policy most places, however, is that one is allowed to say positive things but is not allowed to say negative things. So if I contact a former manager as a reference and she or he only gives dates of employment and position, I know what that means.

I had my references checked and it took 3 months to actually receive an offer. That was state government, though.

Anonymous wrote:A job candidate once provided us with 3 references. One of them trashed the candidate. I was pretty shocked. We did not extend the offer. Not having sufficient self-awareness to know what your references think about you is pretty damning.

This is such a nightmare! I agree people should properly cherry-pick their reference list. But stories like this always make me nervous.

A job candidate once provided us with 3 references. One of them trashed the candidate. I was pretty shocked. We did not extend the offer. Not having sufficient self-awareness to know what your references think about you is pretty damning.

Anonymous wrote:Asking for your references is not the same as calling them. We ask a lot of candidates for a reference list. We read it to see who they listed and if we know anyone. If we actually call it is generally because we are down to 2 or 3 candidates though.

Really? That's kind of callous. We only ask for references when we are about to make an offer and want to confirm that they're CV is as stated. Often times the reference is people's current job.

Happened to my friend, I know because I provided a great reference and was contacted and she did not get the offer. Also happened to me, I was one of two candidates, they contacted all 3 references for both of us. In my case, they picked the candidate who was geographically closer.

Anonymous wrote:In the experience of most people in my circle, asking for references is just one of the many hoops to jump through that do not necessarily lead to an offer.

Now if they actually contact your references... that's puts you in a small circle of favorite candidates, perhaps the sole candidate. But nothing is guaranteed, even if your references are glowing. Sometimes there are issues beyond the candidate that blow up the job offer.

Like a government shutdown or impoundments

The "glowing" reference thing is sort of a myth IMO. Like if you work in a competitive industry or for the government. Most companies refuse to give references or do anything beyond verifying dates of employment. It's just too much liability.

I mean if you come out of graduate school, you might have some "glowing" references. Those people are essentially paid to be your references, but other than that. I don't know.

Do all the business managers really live over in the same swanky part of town? I thought they were supposed to be competitive sorts.