Anonymous
10/16/2025 17:04
Subject: Re:How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:Look like the people in the roles you aspire to. That guideline works for any industry/sector. People who are too individualistic, quirky, eccentric, or who otherwise demonstrate a lack of self-awareness with respect to how they come across to others (or who seem to not care, which is even worse) whether in language or in attire, are significantly disadvantaged professionally.
And to add, these are roles where conformity is required. A person in these roles will excel if s/he reminds leadership of themselves.
Anonymous
10/16/2025 11:29
Subject: How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:You can't possibly work in the federal government because nearly 100% of the women look a mess. Women at my agency basically wear pajamas and sneakers.
Former fed and to say it's casual is an understatement.
Anonymous
10/16/2025 10:29
Subject: How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The only person I know who has their lashes professionally done lives in LA. The person I know with the nicest nails does them herself.
You think "nice" jewelry equals what? Recognizable? Expensive? No. Maybe don't wear a macaroni necklace on a string to work, but it can be from a flea market or on sale at Macy's.
You think you need a purse people recognize the brand of? No. You need one that's not visibly worn and fraying. Maybe don't carry a canvas tote bag, but a leather purse from Ross or TJ Maxx is totally fine.
I often go to lunches with a clutch that I got from Portland Leather, and get a lot of compliments on it.
No. It probably isn't.
There was a saying in my office (finance) that went the Analyst has the Louis Vuitton bag, the Associate/VP uses (mid range bag), and the MD uses a bag from Target.
A nice, serviceable bag is perfectly fine. There are people who honestly wear back packs to work (NYC) and that’s fine. Just dress professionally. And most people look really weird with fake eyelashes.
Anonymous
10/16/2025 10:22
Subject: How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:Not knowing what field you're in, I think it's important to look polished. I don't have my nails done, but they are short and filed and my cuticles are healthy. You don't need expensive jewelry, but you can have small gold hoop earrings or do the layered necklace look with something other than an Alhambra pendant. Or you can use this as a way to show your personality, but be purposeful about it. You don't need expensive clothes but make sure they fit (and flatter your body type) and look like you made an effort. You don't need a branded purse, you can buy a nice looking tote from Quince.
Appearances do matter.
HTH
This is sound advice. As a slightly younger working mom of three ES and preschool aged children who has pretty much exclusively worked in NY and SF I would emphasize that trying to keep up with people who may be spending thousands on hair, nails, botox, eyelashes, purses, and will exhaust you and take away time and resources you could put towards yourself, kids/marriage, and job.
I try to refresh my wardrobe here and there but don’t care about trends. And going with a purse that isn’t super common but is chic (no outward labels) is a great idea if you don’t want to spend $3K+ on a statement bag for work.
Anonymous
10/15/2025 14:21
Subject: How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Mid-40s executive here who was also a hipster type in my younger years. I wear tinted moisturizer, lip gloss, and very limited jewelry. I don't do my nails other than to keep them neat and trimmed. I get my hair cut regularly and keep it neat, and I have a work wardrobe made up of interchangeable neutrals and the odd dress or blouse in a really flattering color (for me, emerald green). These are generally from quality midrange places and then go more upscale for shoes, bag and coat. This is the approach that works for me and allows me to feel like myself.
Anonymous
10/15/2025 14:10
Subject: How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The only person I know who has their lashes professionally done lives in LA. The person I know with the nicest nails does them herself.
You think "nice" jewelry equals what? Recognizable? Expensive? No. Maybe don't wear a macaroni necklace on a string to work, but it can be from a flea market or on sale at Macy's.
You think you need a purse people recognize the brand of? No. You need one that's not visibly worn and fraying. Maybe don't carry a canvas tote bag, but a leather purse from Ross or TJ Maxx is totally fine.
I often go to lunches with a clutch that I got from Portland Leather, and get a lot of compliments on it.
No. It probably isn't.
+1. A fully grown/established professional woman should not[u] carry a bag from Ross, Marshalls, or TJ Max. As a matter of fact, your clothes shouldn't come from there either. By 40, you should be investing in quality everything, including the makeup and perfume that you wear.
You should ask Jeff to move this post to the beauty thread.
Anonymous
10/15/2025 13:21
Subject: How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:The only person I know who has their lashes professionally done lives in LA. The person I know with the nicest nails does them herself.
You think "nice" jewelry equals what? Recognizable? Expensive? No. Maybe don't wear a macaroni necklace on a string to work, but it can be from a flea market or on sale at Macy's.
You think you need a purse people recognize the brand of? No. You need one that's not visibly worn and fraying. Maybe don't carry a canvas tote bag, but a leather purse from Ross or TJ Maxx is totally fine.
I often go to lunches with a clutch that I got from Portland Leather, and get a lot of compliments on it.
No. It probably isn't.
Anonymous
10/15/2025 13:20
Subject: Re:How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:Look like the people in the roles you aspire to. That guideline works for any industry/sector. People who are too individualistic, quirky, eccentric, or who otherwise demonstrate a lack of self-awareness with respect to how they come across to others (or who seem to not care, which is even worse) whether in language or in attire, are significantly disadvantaged professionally.
This OP. You need to just take cues from those around you.
Anonymous
10/15/2025 13:19
Subject: How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:You can't possibly work in the federal government because nearly 100% of the women look a mess. Women at my agency basically wear pajamas and sneakers.
Government lawyer here. Same.
Anonymous
10/15/2025 13:16
Subject: How important is it for me to “look the part”?
Anonymous wrote:Not knowing what field you're in, I think it's important to look polished. I don't have my nails done, but they are short and filed and my cuticles are healthy. You don't need expensive jewelry, but you can have small gold hoop earrings or do the layered necklace look with something other than an Alhambra pendant. Or you can use this as a way to show your personality, but be purposeful about it. You don't need expensive clothes but make sure they fit (and flatter your body type) and look like you made an effort. You don't need a branded purse, you can buy a nice looking tote from Quince.
Appearances do matter.
HTH
It isn't 2019