I can understand OP’squestion.

Especially if you are dealing with “in laws” who seem to think this is all dictated somewhere.

It would be nice to have a neutral third party (book), when it comes to the $.

Anonymous wrote:What on Earth do you need a book for?

DP, but for many reasons.

One of the most overlooked is how, as her mother, you can advise her on what to expect on her wedding night.

Most respectable girls will be caught unawares. And we all know how awful men can be! So it’s really your job to soften the blow of the hard facts of life.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, Thanks for all of the advice. I will relax and take her lead.

Good plan.

I am assuming you have talked about money with her (are you providing any, how much, does that make you a host and give you a say in plans?). If not, it's never too soon, and there is no one right answer for everyone.

Protocol #1: Do not go overboard…if she wants or needs your help, she will ASK for it.

This is not about you. The whole “I need a book” mindset is not it. You need to calm down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A Practical Wedding is good.

Way less protocol than in the past. No receiving line. Maybe no ushers. Not necessarily less fancy, but less ritualistic.

Most importantly you need a realistic understanding of how much things cost nowadays.

Less ritualistic? Every element of weddings is now some elaborate, expensive event -- photographed proposal, bridesmaid invitations, bachelor/spinster getaway weekends, single-use robes for the bridesmaids to wear while getting dressed...

Reception lines were quick and easy.

Less traditionalistic. Those new things are just whatever the couple makes up. They're not considered mandatory and lots of people don't do them. Weddings are less of a formula now.

Receiving lines are a boring traffic jam. Ushers who actually help you find your seat are not necessary and nobody wants a man they don't know to touch them. Also no more separate sides of the church.

Remember that your future son in law is probably playing a large role in planning and organizing. Do not expect your daughter to make decisions without his input.

Do not propose things that cost money or add logistical work. Help your daughter implement what she wants, do not make it harder by adding things she doesn't care about.

Does she want your help? Maybe let the person getting married take the lead here.

Anonymous wrote:A Practical Wedding is good.

Way less protocol than in the past. No receiving line. Maybe no ushers. Not necessarily less fancy, but less ritualistic.

Most importantly you need a realistic understanding of how much things cost nowadays.

Less ritualistic? Every element of weddings is now some elaborate, expensive event -- photographed proposal, bridesmaid invitations, bachelor/spinster getaway weekends, single-use robes for the bridesmaids to wear while getting dressed...

Reception lines were quick and easy.

A Practical Wedding is good.

Way less protocol than in the past. No receiving line. Maybe no ushers. Not necessarily less fancy, but less ritualistic.

Most importantly you need a realistic understanding of how much things cost nowadays.

OP here, Thanks for all of the advice. I will relax and take her lead.

Plan a big brunch with YOUR good friends and if want to, can ask daughter if she wants to be invited along with any bridesmaids