Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 20:19     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Anonymous wrote:Going on vacation is a good way of breaking the hosting cycle.

Personally, I would decide to serve something else, that your kids enjoy. "Not liking to host" is not a black and white proposition, OP. You have described many tensions, including that the food isn't a general favorite. So while your father will still rant about politics, maybe it all get better if your kids like the food!

I say this because I have never liked the traditional Thanksgiving meal, so if I had to make it myself, I would be very irritated! We usually go to my best friend's house and I am only expected to bring dessert. When it's been just us at home, we usually have duck (sometimes confit of duck, instead of roasted), and completely different sides than the conventional ones.


this
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 20:14     Subject: Re:How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
I would just say you are going to the cousin's party and that they are welcome to
meet you there or come to your house and drive together (if you can all fit in one car of course).

Don't overthink this or overexplain yourself. Visiting extended family is normal Thanksgiving behavior.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 18:21     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
I think it’s strange your parents went to their friends house instead of their siblings house for a family holiday like Thanksgiving… Is it your dads sibling and your mom won’t go?
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 18:20     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
I don’t think it’s fair you’ve never flown to your in-laws for thanksgiving. You should go by yourselves, no need for your parents to go to your in-laws. I too am an only child. But that was my parents choice and they knew they might be alone a few holidays once I married. I can’t be responsible for that. My in-laws also deserve some time. For a more major holiday like Christmas I don’t go to either side since it’s not fair I think. Anyone who wants to visit is welcome to stay with us and celebrate.

I think your cousins chaotic thanksgiving sounds amazing!! That’s what I grew up with and am a bit disappointed I can’t get it as an adult. I wouldn’t want to go to a restaurant myself.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 18:18     Subject: Re:How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Anonymous wrote:Spend this time with your immediate family - ask your kids and partner what they want to eat, and new tradition to try, and fun activity. Try to incorporate one from each and have a wonderful time together!
Your parents can adapt, they were a couple once upon a time.


Yeah! Screw your parents OP!
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 18:12     Subject: Re:How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Go to your cousins! Your parents have never hosted. They had you go to your mom’s friends house! They have zero right to dictate how you celebrate now.

If your parents do not want to go to your cousins then they can visit another time. You aren’t ditching them if they decline your invitation to go to the cousins house.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 16:17     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Two words: Whole Foods.

I will never cook all the Thanksgiving stuff again. My husband deep fries the turkey - super easy and almost zero work for me - and we get the sides from Whole Foods.

I think a restaurant is fine if you have another activity planned - like a hike or a Turkey Trot - but just going to a restaurant instead of eating at home seems a little sad.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 15:32     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What about buying a catered meal and serve it in your home? If you are dead set on going out though, just tell them that’s the plan, come or don’t.


Do you think these come warm and plated? They are still a decent amount of work and cleanup.

+1 You’re still juggling the logistics of getting everything hot at the same time. It takes dramatically less time to prep the meal, but on the day of, it’s still a little bit stressful timing everything, especially if you don’t have a second oven.


Oh it is not. You stick the foil pans in an oven. You heat the other stuff in pans or microwave. It takes me an hour at most.

If you want less time get a breast not a bird.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 15:24     Subject: Re:How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Spend this time with your immediate family - ask your kids and partner what they want to eat, and new tradition to try, and fun activity. Try to incorporate one from each and have a wonderful time together!
Your parents can adapt, they were a couple once upon a time.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 15:20     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What about buying a catered meal and serve it in your home? If you are dead set on going out though, just tell them that’s the plan, come or don’t.


Do you think these come warm and plated? They are still a decent amount of work and cleanup.


+1 this is so true. It’s a pain.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 15:04     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What about buying a catered meal and serve it in your home? If you are dead set on going out though, just tell them that’s the plan, come or don’t.


Do you think these come warm and plated? They are still a decent amount of work and cleanup.

+1 You’re still juggling the logistics of getting everything hot at the same time. It takes dramatically less time to prep the meal, but on the day of, it’s still a little bit stressful timing everything, especially if you don’t have a second oven.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 15:03     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What about buying a catered meal and serve it in your home? If you are dead set on going out though, just tell them that’s the plan, come or don’t.


Do you think these come warm and plated? They are still a decent amount of work and cleanup.


It's as much or as little as you want it to be. If it doesn't come in a heatable container dump it into a heatable disposable container and serve from there. Eat on paper plates if you must.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 14:56     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Anonymous wrote:What about buying a catered meal and serve it in your home? If you are dead set on going out though, just tell them that’s the plan, come or don’t.


Do you think these come warm and plated? They are still a decent amount of work and cleanup.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 14:54     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
What about buying a catered meal and serve it in your home? If you are dead set on going out though, just tell them that’s the plan, come or don’t.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2025 14:42     Subject: How to get parents on board with alternate Thanksgiving plans
Start by telling them you are overwhelmed, overworked, exhausted, need their help.
They will help you if they accept that FAMILY THANKSGIVING will be in a restaurant with a traditional menu or catered by Whole Foods/Balduccis/whatever.
Thank them for their love and help.