Married women stop trying. They already reeled in a DH. Unless your DH is very attractive to other women, he doesn’t have many choices. Of all my married friends, many stopped trying years ago. It’s all about the kids now.

Easy one. More attractive women tend to be able to marry men with money. Then they can more easily afford to divorce and take their half.

I am single, not divorced, late forties.

I feel like there was a time in my late thirties/early forties when I looked way better than a lot of women my age. And I started attracting better looking men. Like, as compares to my peers, I was better looking at 42 compared to other 42 years than I was at 25 compared to other 25 year olds.

Now I have been in a relationship for several years and I don't feel that way anymore. In some ways, I feel like I actually look worse than a lot of my peers.

I think I was maybe more conscious of my looks, weight, clothes in my early forties because I as actively dating rather than in a relationship. It is easier to let your guard down when you are in a relationship.

Anonymous wrote:You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

IME 1-2 ("Attractive women are less afraid" and "Attractive women have higher self esteem") are true for the women I know who initiate divorce. They aren't all necessarily off the charts beautiful, but they are pretty enough to probably get hit on even if they are in their 40s. I know people pile on when some women on these boards claim they look 10 years younger than they are but IRL I definitely know such women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

all interesting theories, but in my experience the vast majority of beautiful and hot women are happily married to non-misogynistic men. fortunately my wife is one of them!

Most men are misogynistic just FYI. Most women carry internalized misogyny too. Unless you know someone who was raised on Mars, that’s just factual.

only on DCUM

DP and I agree with them. If you think you somehow survived growing up without some internalized misogyny, you are probably kidding yourself. I've known too many people convinced they are 100% free of gender ideology who then buy into weird misogynist BS unthinkingly to believe otherwise.

I don't think the divorced women are naturally more beautiful. I think they are trying harder.

I have had several friends get divorced in their late 30s and 40s, and in retrospect, I think they started preparing for divorce years before it happened -- working out more, taking on higher maintenance hair and beauty routines, dressing better. Well before they ever mentioned even an inkling of an issue with there husbands, they seemed to start investing more in their appearance and overall well being. I think it was part of the liberation process for them.

Among the married women I know, very few maintain themselves at that level. Maybe two, both married to extremely high earners in competitive fields where I think there is more pressure for the wives to look a certain way (lots of galas and dinners, for instance, where their looks may be compared and scrutinized). Of the rest, I'd say it's evenly divided between women who let themselves go a bit because they are content and not that stressed about it, and the ones who are in unhappy marriages and are gaining weight and neglecting their appearance due to depression and unhappiness with their situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

A friend and I noticed this. We are both "cute" in the sense that we are thin and take care of our hair and skin but not naturally pretty. But we know a few women who are just stunning -- big wide set eyes, tiny chin and nose, perfectly symmetrical -- and ALL of them are married to d bags. How does that happen?

Because they like douchebags for flaunting, sex and partying, once real life sets in then they and their partners see each other's real colors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

all interesting theories, but in my experience the vast majority of beautiful and hot women are happily married to non-misogynistic men. fortunately my wife is one of them!

Most men are misogynistic just FYI. Most women carry internalized misogyny too. Unless you know someone who was raised on Mars, that’s just factual.

200%. Matriarchy is the pillar of patriarchy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

Yeah, my beautiful friends had to work harder in dating to figure out if a guy was into them because of just their looks. They attracted a lot more superficial guys than us mediocre lookers.

I don’t buy this. They could have searched for values and depth too. I have lots of beautiful friends who married well.

They did. Nowhere did I say they didn't. They just hard to work harder to filter out more shallow guys.

Beautiful women often marry for money and once they establish themselves in that wealthy network, they discard old, bald or nerd and start dating in a better dating pool than their original one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

Yeah, my beautiful friends had to work harder in dating to figure out if a guy was into them because of just their looks. They attracted a lot more superficial guys than us mediocre lookers.

I don’t buy this. They could have searched for values and depth too. I have lots of beautiful friends who married well.

They did. Nowhere did I say they didn't. They just hard to work harder to filter out more shallow guys.

Which shouldn't be too difficult as they also get a larger pool of people so don't need to make compromises.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

all interesting theories, but in my experience the vast majority of beautiful and hot women are happily married to non-misogynistic men. fortunately my wife is one of them!

Most men are misogynistic just FYI. Most women carry internalized misogyny too. Unless you know someone who was raised on Mars, that’s just factual.

only on DCUM

1 and 8. I attract losers. Most have some kind of childhood trauma, SN, mental illness. I've dated three with ASD. I had no idea.
I'm friendly and will talk to anyone. They behave at the beginning, but then fall apart at some point.
Most men around me are from very poor countries. Growing up in poverty and crime ridden country, does show at some point.
I'm hardly ever left alone. Lots of male acquaintances and friends.
Even the delivery guys try hard using up the 30 seconds they have.

Beautiful women often marry handsome. Two narcissists aren't likely to live happily ever after.

Anonymous wrote:In my 40s and married. Have noticed that a lot of my friends or coworkers who are divorced are much more attractive than the ones who are married. They didn't suddenly become pretty after divorce. Marriage is going through a rocky time and I'm noticing because it feels like DH has a lot of choices at this age. In therapy so I recognize this is my insecurity but are others noticing the same thing and why could this be the case? If anything I'd think it would be the other way around.

Beauty and narcissism often go hand in hand so this is not surprising.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

A friend and I noticed this. We are both "cute" in the sense that we are thin and take care of our hair and skin but not naturally pretty. But we know a few women who are just stunning -- big wide set eyes, tiny chin and nose, perfectly symmetrical -- and ALL of them are married to d bags. How does that happen?

Do men care about big wide set eyes and tiny chins and noses?