Anonymous wrote:So here's the thing with kids making fun of each other. Many kids are mean. They will latch onto whatever bothers kids and keep pushing it. True or not. Important or not. Ridiculous or not.
My kid was bullied over things that, when I was a kid, would have made the bullies look dumb (not watching certain really little kiddie cartoons in upper elementary). It wasn't really about that - it was that DC was an easy target and the bullies just wanted to pick on somebody.
A lot of kids are not intending to be mean. They are kids and still learning social norms and social expectations. They aren't particularly skilled at friendships and they are often in forced social situations that they have little control over. Often they are commenting on what they see o hear around them, or they think they are funny, or they speak somewhat impulsively without thinking things through. Many kids that age are not self reflecting on the impact of an off handed comment nor are they sensitive to others who have differing levels of emotional sensitivity than they do. Most kids are not future oriented, they function in the present moment in time. They say things they hear at home or on the internet or that their older sibling says or that they heard in a show or a movie. The majority of these kids are not bullies or mean kids at all. Most kids say off the cuff things that someone else understands or perceives differently than it was intended. They don't have expertise in effective communication and ensuring that the message sent is the message received or that there aren't unintended messages. Many adults aren't even skilled communicators.