Hi I am sorry about this - it sounds like burnout- if your boss is German/swiss they have a huge vacation culture there.

I would start by planning a 7 day (or 10 day -combine two weekends) vacation with your wife and kids. Go somewhere not expensive - maybe a national park - be outdoors - do a "reset" - and do it soon.

You are too deep in this and burnt out to think clearly. I am a working mom - and had a stay at home mom. It is really, really hard after losing work skills to go back, and your wife may not even find something that pays well enough to make up for the babysitter/nanny costs.

Honestly? I would lean into your career - take the break - reset/pause - and if you can take a sabattical, do it.

Then, think about what you want. What transferable skills do you have that you could deploy elsewhere. I make $600k and my husbnad makes $400k, and I would find it very very hard to live on 1 salary of $180k alone. Leverage the shit out of your skills, you have more of an upside right now than your wife - she should support you in going "all in" on yuor career and trying to double it in the next few years. What options do you hvae for growth potential? Can you talk with a career coach???

good luck, I don't think your wife going back to work is going to yield much ROI, and I bet she will feel resentful.

Caveat: if there is a private schoool where she could teach, where your kids could get a discount on tuition, that could make it worth it????

Good luck!!!! Think big. But first, clear your head. Get out of the mental rut. Take a vaca.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi - greetings from Detroit.

Have you considered going to a larger multinational (OEM)?

You have a lot of responsibility for that salary.

Corporate drama is corporate drama, but you might be able to reduce your stress.

Think about your medical care. The people I knew who checked out in their 50s because they were tired of corporate drama sometimes ended up with medical issues that were extremely costly to resolve without an excellent medical plan.

My mom was a SAHM and I am a working mom. I'm going to say this bluntly. Sacrificing your family's financial resilience to facilitate youth sports and ECs is very short-sighted. I would not change your job until she finds a job. Maybe you can wait until your kids are both in middle school? Or she has a stable, flexible job.

I think about quitting a lot, but view it as potentially a $1M plus income stream decision. That I'm tempted should tell you something. Being laid off in 2009-10 cost me easily $150-$200K in lost wages and benefits.

You're not alone.

Money isn't everything and when you look back on your life, is money more important than family. Nothing wrong with OP wife staying home. They are financially sound.

OP look at other jobs but don't quit. The grass is not always greener.

Right. Money isn't everything but 180k is not a lot for a lot of stress and responsibility. While OP wife has a degree that she could easily find a part time or wfh gig to bring in additional cash there by facilitating a sooner retirement or allowing OP to downshift.

Other factors may come in though if op and fam are not close to relatives for ex and would then need to hire a nanny for the kids and their sports. Anyway, my two cents.

How much do accountants make in Ohio, 65k? After tax that’s barely enough for a babysitter. Don’t complain about kids not being close to you when they grow up because you spent the best years hustling for extra 65k so that shitty CPA firm owner bought an extra boat.

I am sure that changed their life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi - greetings from Detroit.

Have you considered going to a larger multinational (OEM)?

You have a lot of responsibility for that salary.

Corporate drama is corporate drama, but you might be able to reduce your stress.

Think about your medical care. The people I knew who checked out in their 50s because they were tired of corporate drama sometimes ended up with medical issues that were extremely costly to resolve without an excellent medical plan.

My mom was a SAHM and I am a working mom. I'm going to say this bluntly. Sacrificing your family's financial resilience to facilitate youth sports and ECs is very short-sighted. I would not change your job until she finds a job. Maybe you can wait until your kids are both in middle school? Or she has a stable, flexible job.

I think about quitting a lot, but view it as potentially a $1M plus income stream decision. That I'm tempted should tell you something. Being laid off in 2009-10 cost me easily $150-$200K in lost wages and benefits.

You're not alone.

Money isn't everything and when you look back on your life, is money more important than family. Nothing wrong with OP wife staying home. They are financially sound.

OP look at other jobs but don't quit. The grass is not always greener.

Right. Money isn't everything but 180k is not a lot for a lot of stress and responsibility. While OP wife has a degree that she could easily find a part time or wfh gig to bring in additional cash there by facilitating a sooner retirement or allowing OP to downshift.

Other factors may come in though if op and fam are not close to relatives for ex and would then need to hire a nanny for the kids and their sports. Anyway, my two cents.

Anonymous wrote:Hi - greetings from Detroit.

Have you considered going to a larger multinational (OEM)?

You have a lot of responsibility for that salary.

Corporate drama is corporate drama, but you might be able to reduce your stress.

Think about your medical care. The people I knew who checked out in their 50s because they were tired of corporate drama sometimes ended up with medical issues that were extremely costly to resolve without an excellent medical plan.

My mom was a SAHM and I am a working mom. I'm going to say this bluntly. Sacrificing your family's financial resilience to facilitate youth sports and ECs is very short-sighted. I would not change your job until she finds a job. Maybe you can wait until your kids are both in middle school? Or she has a stable, flexible job.

I think about quitting a lot, but view it as potentially a $1M plus income stream decision. That I'm tempted should tell you something. Being laid off in 2009-10 cost me easily $150-$200K in lost wages and benefits.

You're not alone.

My family prioritized financial resilience above everything else, pretty much anything non-food related went to savings. But I have a lot of resentment that I never participated in any leisure / sports, skipped all school events and as a family we never had good memories of going to movies, going out to eat or travel.

Money isn’t everything. Sports or hobbies do not need to be extreme like many DCMoms jam packed schedule but it is a life long hobby you will move, be healthy, joyful and meet many friends, that’s more important than money.

Anonymous wrote:Hi - greetings from Detroit.

Have you considered going to a larger multinational (OEM)?

You have a lot of responsibility for that salary.

Corporate drama is corporate drama, but you might be able to reduce your stress.

Think about your medical care. The people I knew who checked out in their 50s because they were tired of corporate drama sometimes ended up with medical issues that were extremely costly to resolve without an excellent medical plan.

My mom was a SAHM and I am a working mom. I'm going to say this bluntly. Sacrificing your family's financial resilience to facilitate youth sports and ECs is very short-sighted. I would not change your job until she finds a job. Maybe you can wait until your kids are both in middle school? Or she has a stable, flexible job.

I think about quitting a lot, but view it as potentially a $1M plus income stream decision. That I'm tempted should tell you something. Being laid off in 2009-10 cost me easily $150-$200K in lost wages and benefits.

You're not alone.

Money isn't everything and when you look back on your life, is money more important than family. Nothing wrong with OP wife staying home. They are financially sound.

OP look at other jobs but don't quit. The grass is not always greener.

You are being underpaid since you've been at the company so long. No way your promotions have kept up with fair market rates. Interview and find another job. Leverage your network.

OP have you met with a financial advisor? My husband and I are in a similar situation and we spoke with one, and it was quite helpful.

He took in all our information, listened to our retirement goals (and career fears), and provided a report that was much more useful than I thought it would be.

For example, he might let you know that if you increased your retirement/529 savings by 15% over the next five years, you would have a much higher chance of not needing as much income later. This could be the impetus for your wife to get a job, even part-time, and sock every penny in retirement/529. That way you have a reason for doing something rather than debating if it's worth it for her to not work.

What a lot of specific, personal, identifiable information to post on a not actually anonymous public message forum frequented by people from all over the country.

Anonymous wrote:Why did you say "Troll"? I am trying to give more context and answer questions that were asked of me.

The Detroiter again. I believe you exist. You should look at OEM jobs in Detroit and Ohio (Toledo, Cincinnati, Cleveland) to see what's available.

You shouldn't have to drop down to $80K. You are out of touch with the job market.

Look at Glassdoor.com or other sites that give self-reported salaries. For job titles for mid-career engineers. Individual contributors as well as managers.

Your pay factors in the European employer's payscale preferences. And maybe a lower position in the supplier tiering system. Are you at a Tier 1?

What about consulting? And there are also tiny investment shops that buy and flip distressed suppliers.

For your wife, the press says that accountants are in demand. Don't know the truth of it but if the job market stays stagnant, I will ask my college sophomore to investigate a 1 year M. Acct to add to his social science degree.

Why did you say "Troll"? I am trying to give more context and answer questions that were asked of me.

Anonymous wrote:I initiated this post......Thanks for the replies so far.

I should clarify that I would try to find a new job (with less responsibility) while still employed at current job. But as a few have mentioned, i would make significantly less at new job - hoping the stress would be lower. Benefits are important. Maybe I could find a job in the $80k range.

I tool feel I am underpaid for my role, and that has been discussed with my boss (President of the America's, who's responsible for 18 facilities (400 M annual sales with 500 employees), He's German/Swiss....he says he thinks my pay is fair, but that he would look into doing something....I asked him 3x now....but it's been 3 months. So I have his answer. But, let's be honest....would an extra $10k per year really fix my issues?

I have not taken 7 days of vacation ever. Taking a vacation day on Friday's is called "light work day".

Someone said "retire"....I dont think I could sustain my family without insurance....my savings would not be enough, even with early withdrawals from 401k etc.

Troll

I initiated this post......Thanks for the replies so far.

I should clarify that I would try to find a new job (with less responsibility) while still employed at current job. But as a few have mentioned, i would make significantly less at new job - hoping the stress would be lower. Benefits are important. Maybe I could find a job in the $80k range.

I tool feel I am underpaid for my role, and that has been discussed with my boss (President of the America's, who's responsible for 18 facilities (400 M annual sales with 500 employees), He's German/Swiss....he says he thinks my pay is fair, but that he would look into doing something....I asked him 3x now....but it's been 3 months. So I have his answer. But, let's be honest....would an extra $10k per year really fix my issues?

I have not taken 7 days of vacation ever. Taking a vacation day on Friday's is called "light work day".

Someone said "retire"....I dont think I could sustain my family without insurance....my savings would not be enough, even with early withdrawals from 401k etc.