Anonymous
09/23/2025 08:16
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Anonymous wrote:I spend $1500/month for my son's fencing. And I take home only $5500. I am a single dad. Some days I regret putting him in fencing because it's clearly too much given my take home pay. Other days I am happy that my son enjoys fencing and brings him joy.
My advice to parents like me who don't make a lot is to be plan well otherwise you will end up spending on a sports that won't give them scholarship for college instead saving that money for college.
But he has been doing it for 6 years now and he likes it.
It's okay. When I die it's not like I am going to be buried with my money. At least I have $0 debt.
My neighbor is from France and his son is amazing in tennis and swimming. He said it cost them very little compared to here.
America is fantastic at monetizing everything.
On a positive note, if you are wealthy and can afford it please support your child and give them whatever they need. They will be very appreciative. My son is really grateful and that alone is enough to keep motivated.
that’s insane to spend 108k on fencing of all things. All i can do is calculate how much down the drain that is for someone at your income
level. and the lost opportunity costs…ooof!
Anonymous
09/23/2025 08:13
Subject: Spending on kids activities
there’s no percentage. We spend maybe 4% of our gross income on mortgage and most definitely more than that on the kids ( i have one in college and on that alone we spend more than our mortgage). At the end of the day pay yourself first and then blow the rest. Thats a different calculation depending on your income. For me it would be absurd to spend 25% of my income on housing. That would be a home costing well into 7 figures, that’s just dumb.
Anonymous
09/23/2025 05:58
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Anonymous wrote:I spend $1500/month for my son's fencing. And I take home only $5500. I am a single dad. Some days I regret putting him in fencing because it's clearly too much given my take home pay. Other days I am happy that my son enjoys fencing and brings him joy.
My advice to parents like me who don't make a lot is to be plan well otherwise you will end up spending on a sports that won't give them scholarship for college instead saving that money for college.
But he has been doing it for 6 years now and he likes it.
It's okay. When I die it's not like I am going to be buried with my money. At least I have $0 debt.
My neighbor is from France and his son is amazing in tennis and swimming. He said it cost them very little compared to here.
America is fantastic at monetizing everything.
On a positive note, if you are wealthy and can afford it please support your child and give them whatever they need. They will be very appreciative. My son is really grateful and that alone is enough to keep motivated.
I beleive it. We lived elsewhere in Europe for a couple years and most sports activities were cheaper, with the caveat that they were the local clubs. If you wanted/needed instruction in English for tennis, for instance, that came at an extra cost and not that different from here. They knew the Americans would pay
Anonymous
09/22/2025 22:08
Subject: Spending on kids activities
When DS was younger, almost nothing. Now he's in middle school and i pay $40 a week on music lesson that he actually really likes (he's never been into many activities), and $60 a week on math tutoring (he's doing math 3 years ahead of his grade, and has adhd, so i need someone to keep him organized). And he does one activity that we're trying to actually make him be successful in -- and that costs $600 a season, and he does it for 2 seasons a year. So probably $150 a week, or $600 a month, which is more than what I would have expected. But half that is the tutoring, which is such a relief off my very, very busy shoulders that math organization doesn't fall to me.
We also send him to sleepaway came for $5000 for a month in summer, which is indulgent but DH and I both make a lot of money so none of this really matters.
We also send him to sleepaway came for $5000 for a month in summer, which is indulgent but DH and I both make a lot of money so none of this really matters.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 20:32
Subject: Spending on kids activities
My older teen has zero activities that require payment, but is expensive in other ways - trips, car, college, etc.
My younger teen’s activities aren’t too bad either. It’s about $2500/season.
My younger teen’s activities aren’t too bad either. It’s about $2500/season.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 20:31
Subject: Spending on kids activities
$2300/month/kid
Anonymous
09/22/2025 20:26
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Averages to $2,300 on three kids monthly. Music lessons, math tutoring, foreign language tutoring, swim lessons, math competitions, fencing etc… I am astounded by the amount but we have the money and it is a small % of overall income.
Those are some boring activities. Are you immigrants?
Dp. What a weird comment. I am not an immigrant nor is my spouse. These are basically the same activities as my kids except swap chess for fencing.
Why do foreign language tutoring for your kids if you aren’t immigrants? Sounds like torture for the kid.
Pp. I speak languages other than English. I want the same for my kids. You do you.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 19:50
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Averages to $2,300 on three kids monthly. Music lessons, math tutoring, foreign language tutoring, swim lessons, math competitions, fencing etc… I am astounded by the amount but we have the money and it is a small % of overall income.
Those are some boring activities. Are you immigrants?
Dp. What a weird comment. I am not an immigrant nor is my spouse. These are basically the same activities as my kids except swap chess for fencing.
Why do foreign language tutoring for your kids if you aren’t immigrants? Sounds like torture for the kid.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 19:10
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Anonymous wrote:I spend $1500/month for my son's fencing. And I take home only $5500. I am a single dad. Some days I regret putting him in fencing because it's clearly too much given my take home pay. Other days I am happy that my son enjoys fencing and brings him joy.
My advice to parents like me who don't make a lot is to be plan well otherwise you will end up spending on a sports that won't give them scholarship for college instead saving that money for college.
But he has been doing it for 6 years now and he likes it.
It's okay. When I die it's not like I am going to be buried with my money. At least I have $0 debt.
My neighbor is from France and his son is amazing in tennis and swimming. He said it cost them very little compared to here.
America is fantastic at monetizing everything.
On a positive note, if you are wealthy and can afford it please support your child and give them whatever they need. They will be very appreciative. My son is really grateful and that alone is enough to keep motivated.
First, very few people get a scholarship to college that exceeds what they spend from 0-18 for that sport. I know one who made their kids do sports with that intention. Kid ended up doing a sport at one of the state University, with about 50% tuition scholarship. Well tuition was only $12K as a freshman and my 3.5UW/1200/no AP kid got $4K in merit at that school, so only 2 K less. And we didn't spend $10K+/year on the sport (really they spent $15K+ for 10+ years) Their kid was smart and likely would have gotten the same merit award without the sport.
So don't spend on sport in hopes of scholarships. It rarely pays off
Anonymous
09/22/2025 19:07
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Anonymous wrote:By the way, care is 3,500 for infant and ~2500 for preschool, so this feels completely fine since we are not so many years out of the childcare years
It's only "fine" if you are also saving enough for college. Otherwise, most of the infant/preschool care $$$ should be going towards college
Anonymous
09/22/2025 18:56
Subject: Spending on kids activities
I spend $1500/month for my son's fencing. And I take home only $5500. I am a single dad. Some days I regret putting him in fencing because it's clearly too much given my take home pay. Other days I am happy that my son enjoys fencing and brings him joy.
My advice to parents like me who don't make a lot is to be plan well otherwise you will end up spending on a sports that won't give them scholarship for college instead saving that money for college.
But he has been doing it for 6 years now and he likes it.
It's okay. When I die it's not like I am going to be buried with my money. At least I have $0 debt.
My neighbor is from France and his son is amazing in tennis and swimming. He said it cost them very little compared to here.
America is fantastic at monetizing everything.
On a positive note, if you are wealthy and can afford it please support your child and give them whatever they need. They will be very appreciative. My son is really grateful and that alone is enough to keep motivated.
My advice to parents like me who don't make a lot is to be plan well otherwise you will end up spending on a sports that won't give them scholarship for college instead saving that money for college.
But he has been doing it for 6 years now and he likes it.
It's okay. When I die it's not like I am going to be buried with my money. At least I have $0 debt.
My neighbor is from France and his son is amazing in tennis and swimming. He said it cost them very little compared to here.
America is fantastic at monetizing everything.
On a positive note, if you are wealthy and can afford it please support your child and give them whatever they need. They will be very appreciative. My son is really grateful and that alone is enough to keep motivated.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 18:11
Subject: Spending on kids activities
By the way, care is 3,500 for infant and ~2500 for preschool, so this feels completely fine since we are not so many years out of the childcare years
Anonymous
09/22/2025 18:09
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Young elementary. Aftercare is $500, then we pay extra for onsite gymnastics, cooking, and gym (all just for fun), then we do offisite ballet and swim lessons (occaional).
Probably close to $850/mo plus random one-offs
Probably close to $850/mo plus random one-offs
Anonymous
09/22/2025 14:10
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Averages to $2,300 on three kids monthly. Music lessons, math tutoring, foreign language tutoring, swim lessons, math competitions, fencing etc… I am astounded by the amount but we have the money and it is a small % of overall income.
Those are some boring activities. Are you immigrants?
Dp. What a weird comment. I am not an immigrant nor is my spouse. These are basically the same activities as my kids except swap chess for fencing.
Anonymous
09/22/2025 13:38
Subject: Spending on kids activities
Anonymous wrote:Averages to $2,300 on three kids monthly. Music lessons, math tutoring, foreign language tutoring, swim lessons, math competitions, fencing etc… I am astounded by the amount but we have the money and it is a small % of overall income.
Those are some boring activities. Are you immigrants?