Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.

OP is talking specifically about high achievers though. If there was "a problem all along" why didn't it result in, for instance, bad grades? Or difficulty making friends? How does someone with ADHD get into a competitive college, get a Masters degree, gain admission to a top ranked law school, clerk with a federal judge, and then work at a highly competitive Big Law firm, all while sustaining strong, longterm friendships and having an active social life and hobbies? It makes no sense. Yes, masking is a thing. But if you can mask that well.... I don't think you have ADHD, sorry. Usually people with ADHD have actual problems and difficulties with school or social settings.

You only see what's on the outside. You don't see them up all night, every night, working 50 times harder than everyone else just to get those results. They have actual problems; you just don't see them and they're not sharing them with you. There are also other factors just like with everyone else - intelligence, drive, interest in their area of expertise, - and then their ability to come up with coping mechanisms. ADHD doesn't mean complete incapacity to excel or do big things - it just means that it is much, much harder, and/or they might not follow the same process as others.

Anonymous wrote:If you take ADHD medicine and you don’t have ADHD, it doesn’t really do much for you. That’s how you know it’s not over diagnosed.

Anonymous wrote:I called a lot of things bs until it happened to me too.

Feel fortunate, OP. Perhaps you won’t ever have to come to that sort of realization.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.

OP is talking specifically about high achievers though. If there was "a problem all along" why didn't it result in, for instance, bad grades? Or difficulty making friends? How does someone with ADHD get into a competitive college, get a Masters degree, gain admission to a top ranked law school, clerk with a federal judge, and then work at a highly competitive Big Law firm, all while sustaining strong, longterm friendships and having an active social life and hobbies? It makes no sense. Yes, masking is a thing. But if you can mask that well.... I don't think you have ADHD, sorry. Usually people with ADHD have actual problems and difficulties with school or social settings.

They’ll all say it was “masking” lol.

That said, there definitely are extremely smart people who have ADHD. because they are so smart (and often extroverted) they sometimes find themselves in a niche where their strengths are enough. BUT they still struggle - and have a characteristic record of failure. The people I know like this have extreme difficulty meeting deadlines to the extent it threatens their jobs, and a record of failing out of school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.

OP is talking specifically about high achievers though. If there was "a problem all along" why didn't it result in, for instance, bad grades? Or difficulty making friends? How does someone with ADHD get into a competitive college, get a Masters degree, gain admission to a top ranked law school, clerk with a federal judge, and then work at a highly competitive Big Law firm, all while sustaining strong, longterm friendships and having an active social life and hobbies? It makes no sense. Yes, masking is a thing. But if you can mask that well.... I don't think you have ADHD, sorry. Usually people with ADHD have actual problems and difficulties with school or social settings.

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll take the other view.

I think it is BS. I'm sorry, but if you did well in school, did well socially, got through grad school, and got through the first 10 years of a career in a tough field like law or medicine, all without an ADHD diagnosis or any medication, you don't have ADHD.

I actually think what is happening here is that people who have always achieved and been successful hit their 30s or 40s and struggle with something. Anything. Maybe they have a job where they aren't the top worker. Or they just get burned out. Maybe they have a hard time with dating. Maybe it's infertility or postpartum depression. And as people who have always succeeded at everything they do, in part because they are smart and capable and also often in part because they've had a lot of support from family and good financial situations, they cast about looking for an external reason why they aren't nailing it. And ADHD is an extremely convenient scapegoat.

I also think the medical community collaborates in this by constantly suggesting ADHD as a possible cause to any mental health problem they can't fix. I know several woman for whom ADHD was suggested to them as a diagnosis by doctors and others who don't specialize in it (GPs, therapists) when these women came to them complaining of symptoms that could be a lot of things -- anxiety, trouble sleeping, difficulty in relationships, etc.

I think it's total BS. I think they are just struggling with what a lot of us struggle with. Juggling kids and work, midlife malaise, social anxiety that sometimes gets worse as you age, etc.

And yes, ADHD meds will help you focus even if you don't have ADHD. This is why there is a black market for ADHD meds on college campuses that spikes during exam periods or when papers are due and then goes away. But as with people who actually have ADHD, the benefits also decline over time.

Looking forward to getting yelled at here. Just want to say in advance that the reason my post made you so mad is that you are worried it's true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.

OP is talking specifically about high achievers though. If there was "a problem all along" why didn't it result in, for instance, bad grades? Or difficulty making friends? How does someone with ADHD get into a competitive college, get a Masters degree, gain admission to a top ranked law school, clerk with a federal judge, and then work at a highly competitive Big Law firm, all while sustaining strong, longterm friendships and having an active social life and hobbies? It makes no sense. Yes, masking is a thing. But if you can mask that well.... I don't think you have ADHD, sorry. Usually people with ADHD have actual problems and difficulties with school or social settings.

You only see what's on the outside. You don't see them up all night, every night, working 50 times harder than everyone else just to get those results. They have actual problems; you just don't see them and they're not sharing them with you. There are also other factors just like with everyone else - intelligence, drive, interest in their area of expertise, - and then their ability to come up with coping mechanisms. ADHD doesn't mean complete incapacity to excel or do big things - it just means that it is much, much harder, and/or they might not follow the same process as others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perimenopause ignites any latent adhd symptoms. Symptoms you could manage prior become overwhelming with hormone shifts. It’s more than being busy or high achieving. For me it threw me into a functional freeze until I got help. Everyone is different though

So now a midlife crisis is ADHD? Ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I called a lot of things bs until it happened to me too.

Feel fortunate, OP. Perhaps you won’t ever have to come to that sort of realization.

What happened to you? What is it that happens to these women who are leading objectively successful lives into their 30s, that suddenly they get these ADHD diagnoses and we're supposed to believe that actually they were struggling all along even as they managed to get through school, tough careers, and successful social lives? I truly don't get it.

I have a BIL who was diagnosed with ADHD in his 30s but when he was diagnosed it seemed obvious that he'd been struggling a long time. He didn't do great in school, had trouble making and keeping friends because some of his ADHD behaviors (which were deemed "quirks") were really off-putting, and he had a hard time holding down a job. He didn't get diagnosed earlier because he grew up when people really focused on the "hyperactivity" aspect of ADHD and didn't really understand the other ways it could present. But he had real impacts of his ADHD on his life and now he's doing much better on med.

I cannot square that with people who have been wildly successful in every aspect of their lives for decades but then claim to have ADHD. This theory about perimenopause triggering "latent" ADHD sounds like pseudoscience, I want to see some actual evidence that's a real thing.

Anonymous wrote:If you take ADHD medicine and you don’t have ADHD, it doesn’t really do much for you. That’s how you know it’s not over diagnosed.

Anonymous wrote:Perimenopause ignites any latent adhd symptoms. Symptoms you could manage prior become overwhelming with hormone shifts. It’s more than being busy or high achieving. For me it threw me into a functional freeze until I got help. Everyone is different though

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.

OP is talking specifically about high achievers though. If there was "a problem all along" why didn't it result in, for instance, bad grades? Or difficulty making friends? How does someone with ADHD get into a competitive college, get a Masters degree, gain admission to a top ranked law school, clerk with a federal judge, and then work at a highly competitive Big Law firm, all while sustaining strong, longterm friendships and having an active social life and hobbies? It makes no sense. Yes, masking is a thing. But if you can mask that well.... I don't think you have ADHD, sorry. Usually people with ADHD have actual problems and difficulties with school or social settings.

Anonymous wrote:If you take ADHD medicine and you don’t have ADHD, it doesn’t really do much for you. That’s how you know it’s not over diagnosed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll take the other view.

I think it is BS. I'm sorry, but if you did well in school, did well socially, got through grad school, and got through the first 10 years of a career in a tough field like law or medicine, all without an ADHD diagnosis or any medication, you don't have ADHD.

I actually think what is happening here is that people who have always achieved and been successful hit their 30s or 40s and struggle with something. Anything. Maybe they have a job where they aren't the top worker. Or they just get burned out. Maybe they have a hard time with dating. Maybe it's infertility or postpartum depression. And as people who have always succeeded at everything they do, in part because they are smart and capable and also often in part because they've had a lot of support from family and good financial situations, they cast about looking for an external reason why they aren't nailing it. And ADHD is an extremely convenient scapegoat.

I also think the medical community collaborates in this by constantly suggesting ADHD as a possible cause to any mental health problem they can't fix. I know several woman for whom ADHD was suggested to them as a diagnosis by doctors and others who don't specialize in it (GPs, therapists) when these women came to them complaining of symptoms that could be a lot of things -- anxiety, trouble sleeping, difficulty in relationships, etc.

I think it's total BS. I think they are just struggling with what a lot of us struggle with. Juggling kids and work, midlife malaise, social anxiety that sometimes gets worse as you age, etc.

And yes, ADHD meds will help you focus even if you don't have ADHD. This is why there is a black market for ADHD meds on college campuses that spikes during exam periods or when papers are due and then goes away. But as with people who actually have ADHD, the benefits also decline over time.

Looking forward to getting yelled at here. Just want to say in advance that the reason my post made you so mad is that you are worried it's true.

Not mad here. I actually understand why people think it could all be bs. It does seem like diagnoses are increasing in women. But it's hard to understand unless you are actually in it. Be grateful you're not experiencing it, PP. If you were, you would be able to see it's not bs. It's really, truly, much worse than just struggling with the day-to-day and midlife issues.