Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 12:20     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
My DH never did AA, and moderation doesn’t work. He read a book called Rational Recovery because that whole higher power thing wasn’t for him. And that whole “one day at a time” thing didn’t resonate for him either. He had to promise himself to NEVER drink again. He had an excellent addiction therapist to help him, too.

That was almost 20 years ago. He loved finding the extra time in his day that he had lost to drinking.

I recommend finding an addiction recovery therapist and getting started. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 12:19     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are a woman, AA may not be the right approach for you. Read “Quit Like A Woman” and get yourself into a good rehab program.


This is OP and I believe AA is unsafe for women, based on my experiences. It frustrates me too that this is considered to be the gold standard in addiction management when (a) people who quit on their own have higher success rates than those in AA, (b) the program totally disempowers people and continually attending (until death?) is an expectation, and (c) the founders of the program weren’t all that great.

All of that aside, I am not acutely at risk/experiencing delirium tremens or anything like that. It’s just that when I try to moderate my alcohol intake, it just doesn’t work. While I might manage one or two drinks a day for a while, I will always end up binging. I brought up Naltrexone with my PCP in the spring and she referred me to a psychologist instead (which I haven’t explored - I had an AMAZING psychologist who retired a couple of years ago, hesitant to start this process again but probably need to.)

I’ve read different books, tried different approaches - the only thing that seems to work is complete abstinence. But the idea of never ever having an alcoholic drink again is overwhelming. I’m just lost. Thanks all.


"This is OP and I believe AA is unsafe for women, based on my experiences."

Why is that? They have all women meetings and all virtual meetings too how would that be "unsafe" I feel like I'm hearing a ton of excuses and really selfish speak each time you post.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 12:15     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Have you tried antabuse? If you have tried everything then it's time for inpatient care like rehab and detox. Did you have a sponsor in AA? How long did you try it? There is magically no way to "fix" this or help this without hard work and sacrifice. You have to stop drinking and driving. You are a grown adult addiction or not you know better than to do this. Take a bus. Call an Uber or taxi. Stay home and drink and harm only your body but you don't have the right to threaten anyone else's safety or lives like that again. Get your life together. Do better. Get help no one can do it for you but you have to put in the work and I'm not sure you have by your reading your post.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 12:06     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Anonymous wrote:Just have fun. Who says you need to change?


There is something deeply and inherently wrong with you.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:59     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
OP, I agree that you urgently need medical help to manage your alcoholism.

In the meantime, reframe your thinking: you are not focusing on giving up alcohol forever—just this week. Each Sunday, reaffirm that you’re giving up alcohol for this week. That will keep you ( and everyone else) safe while you’re exploring treatment options.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:56     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Anonymous wrote:People who quit on their own may be hard drinkers not alcoholics with the genetic physical craving component. So yeah they have better results trying.

If you are truly a alcoholic you cannot and never will moderate drinking for any length of time. Just do not ever start and not being able to stop once you start ceases being a thing.



This is the dumbest thing I've ever read on here. OP is asking for help. Get the hell out with your useless nonsense.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:51     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
People who quit on their own may be hard drinkers not alcoholics with the genetic physical craving component. So yeah they have better results trying.

If you are truly a alcoholic you cannot and never will moderate drinking for any length of time. Just do not ever start and not being able to stop once you start ceases being a thing.

Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:19     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try semaglutide. On the 1mg dose, I can't drink more than one beer. On the 2mg dose, there's ZERO interest. I can't even force myself because it's not appealing.

I use a compounded version that's pretty inexpensive. There's a lot of articles now on how it's helping alcoholics. It also helps with liver function.


Alcoholic here…this did not help me at all. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work for you. You can still be sober by just not drinking today.


Really? Anyone I know who is on semaglutide stopped drinking.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:18     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
RE: the idea of never ever having an alcoholic drink again

There are a lot of NA options for beer, wine and mixers out on the market. There is a whole new market for adult beverages that do not intoxicate you. You just need to find one that you can substitute for the times you want to participate in socializing.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:18     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Pick up smoking instead.
Make sure to smoke outside so you are not giving 2nd hand smoking to someone.

Take meds then, can you dilute the bottle and just slowly drink less?
Don't mean it in a bad way, we all have our demons!

Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:16     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Anonymous wrote:Try semaglutide. On the 1mg dose, I can't drink more than one beer. On the 2mg dose, there's ZERO interest. I can't even force myself because it's not appealing.

I use a compounded version that's pretty inexpensive. There's a lot of articles now on how it's helping alcoholics. It also helps with liver function.


Alcoholic here…this did not help me at all. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work for you. You can still be sober by just not drinking today.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:16     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Anonymous wrote:Try semaglutide. On the 1mg dose, I can't drink more than one beer. On the 2mg dose, there's ZERO interest. I can't even force myself because it's not appealing.

I use a compounded version that's pretty inexpensive. There's a lot of articles now on how it's helping alcoholics. It also helps with liver function.


Oh and I'm a female who also couldn't moderate my drinking. I didn't really need to lose weight, but that's always a boon. I specifically got on for alcohol moderation.

I will say that not drinking (or not wanting to drink) has forced me to work through my stress and anxiety on my own without alcohol, which is also beneficial. When I go off, I will be better prepared to not drink. The first 30 days are always the hardest with the most cravings, and I've worked on my own mental health.

Hope this helps someone else.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:14     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are a woman, AA may not be the right approach for you. Read “Quit Like A Woman” and get yourself into a good rehab program.


This is OP and I believe AA is unsafe for women, based on my experiences. It frustrates me too that this is considered to be the gold standard in addiction management when (a) people who quit on their own have higher success rates than those in AA, (b) the program totally disempowers people and continually attending (until death?) is an expectation, and (c) the founders of the program weren’t all that great.

All of that aside, I am not acutely at risk/experiencing delirium tremens or anything like that. It’s just that when I try to moderate my alcohol intake, it just doesn’t work. While I might manage one or two drinks a day for a while, I will always end up binging. I brought up Naltrexone with my PCP in the spring and she referred me to a psychologist instead (which I haven’t explored - I had an AMAZING psychologist who retired a couple of years ago, hesitant to start this process again but probably need to.)

I’ve read different books, tried different approaches - the only thing that seems to work is complete abstinence. But the idea of never ever having an alcoholic drink again is overwhelming. I’m just lost. Thanks all.


Try the Reframe app. It has women-only meetings, and more than 50% women in all meetings. They are on Zoom too. Reframe is very positive and supportive.

You don’t have to think about quitting forever. Just don’t drink today. Every morning, all you have to think about is “I will not drink today.” Pillow to pillow isn’t that hard.

During my early days of sobriety, I would go to bed at like 7 pm if it was too overwhelming. It doesn’t have to look like a Hallmark life at first, just get through each day without drinking.

You can do this! I am on day 387. I never thought this could be possible yet here I am. My whole life is better.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:13     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Try semaglutide. On the 1mg dose, I can't drink more than one beer. On the 2mg dose, there's ZERO interest. I can't even force myself because it's not appealing.

I use a compounded version that's pretty inexpensive. There's a lot of articles now on how it's helping alcoholics. It also helps with liver function.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2025 10:10     Subject: Can’t moderate drinking. Now what?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are a woman, AA may not be the right approach for you. Read “Quit Like A Woman” and get yourself into a good rehab program.


This is OP and I believe AA is unsafe for women, based on my experiences. It frustrates me too that this is considered to be the gold standard in addiction management when (a) people who quit on their own have higher success rates than those in AA, (b) the program totally disempowers people and continually attending (until death?) is an expectation, and (c) the founders of the program weren’t all that great.

All of that aside, I am not acutely at risk/experiencing delirium tremens or anything like that. It’s just that when I try to moderate my alcohol intake, it just doesn’t work. While I might manage one or two drinks a day for a while, I will always end up binging. I brought up Naltrexone with my PCP in the spring and she referred me to a psychologist instead (which I haven’t explored - I had an AMAZING psychologist who retired a couple of years ago, hesitant to start this process again but probably need to.)

I’ve read different books, tried different approaches - the only thing that seems to work is complete abstinence. But the idea of never ever having an alcoholic drink again is overwhelming. I’m just lost. Thanks all.


I highly recommend Kolmac's program. It can be covered by your insurance (it was by ours), and can be completed entirely outpatient.

https://www.kolmac.com/