Anonymous
09/17/2025 16:05
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
Parents have to stay in the loop, unfortunately this is not something that can be completely outsourced. School counselors are doing their job, not providing exclusive services to your DC. Sometimes you appreciate their advice, other times you just have to say no as long as you comply with school policy.
For example, they may try to convince you to cut down the number of reach schools to reduce internal competition. Even though you have enough safety and target schools lined up.
They may only be able to strongly support 2-3 ED applicants in ED to a top school, they may try to convince other kids ED elsewhere so that it’s not overcrowded. It’s about the outcome of the school, sometimes it’s not about your individual DC.
For example, they may try to convince you to cut down the number of reach schools to reduce internal competition. Even though you have enough safety and target schools lined up.
They may only be able to strongly support 2-3 ED applicants in ED to a top school, they may try to convince other kids ED elsewhere so that it’s not overcrowded. It’s about the outcome of the school, sometimes it’s not about your individual DC.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 15:24
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the rant, but it really feels hard to find teachers, coaches, counselors, or consultants who are genuinely invested in helping my child grow.
Am I asking for too much?
What do you mean "helping your child grow?" If your kid works hard in school, takes classes that challenge them, is kind to peers and teachers, they will get in to at least one college that is the right level for them. For some, that means ivy/T15, for others that will be a non-flagship public or LAC that is a better fit. Yes the ivy/T15 expect deeper ECs: they want kids to care about something outside of school and be able to explain why they care. True ivy-level students can do this without any help from consultants, they are highly driven and independent. AOs do not want pay to play or curated they want genuine and most of the time they can tell, though there are not spots in the ivies for all who are super-top self motivated. These kids will succeed just fine at their flagship or a T21-40 private, in fact they may find it easier to stand out than if they had gone to a T10.
There are no consultants or counselors needed, even for the top colleges. Your job is to accept the kid you have and encourage them to self-advocate and work their hardest in school without sacrificing sleep or sanity. Read MIT Applying Sideways. It applies to all students and colleges.
+1. Great advice all around.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 15:21
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
This is capitalism..everything is business. Everything is money.
Except you as parent of your kid. You care about their growth and potential. No one else really does care as much as you do. So, hire with that in mind.
Except you as parent of your kid. You care about their growth and potential. No one else really does care as much as you do. So, hire with that in mind.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 11:23
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the rant, but it really feels hard to find teachers, coaches, counselors, or consultants who are genuinely invested in helping my child grow.
Am I asking for too much?
I don’t think I understand the question. Are you asking about people interested in seeing your child grow and develop or are you asking for people to get your kid into some group of schools you define as appropriate for your kid?
I know tons of people invested in my child’s growth. For the vast majority of them their purpose is not to get my kid into a specific college.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 11:21
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
Anonymous wrote:I have 4 friends/classmates with multiple Ivy degrees who left lucrative careers to do college admissions counseling (both undergrad and grad). I can only assume it's sufficiently lucrative, because people are willing to pay anything that they think gets their kid a better shot at their future.
we know recent ivy/T10 grads who are making tons of money doing the same. one is going to put herself through med school with the cash. the parents that hire are very wealthy NY/boston area parents who know their Larlo is not quite up to par
Anonymous
09/17/2025 11:20
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the rant, but it really feels hard to find teachers, coaches, counselors, or consultants who are genuinely invested in helping my child grow.
Am I asking for too much?
Because the higher education “industrial” complex is competing with the military industrial complex in the fleecing of America.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 11:16
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the rant, but it really feels hard to find teachers, coaches, counselors, or consultants who are genuinely invested in helping my child grow.
Am I asking for too much?
What do you mean "helping your child grow?" If your kid works hard in school, takes classes that challenge them, is kind to peers and teachers, they will get in to at least one college that is the right level for them. For some, that means ivy/T15, for others that will be a non-flagship public or LAC that is a better fit. Yes the ivy/T15 expect deeper ECs: they want kids to care about something outside of school and be able to explain why they care. True ivy-level students can do this without any help from consultants, they are highly driven and independent. AOs do not want pay to play or curated they want genuine and most of the time they can tell, though there are not spots in the ivies for all who are super-top self motivated. These kids will succeed just fine at their flagship or a T21-40 private, in fact they may find it easier to stand out than if they had gone to a T10.
There are no consultants or counselors needed, even for the top colleges. Your job is to accept the kid you have and encourage them to self-advocate and work their hardest in school without sacrificing sleep or sanity. Read MIT Applying Sideways. It applies to all students and colleges.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 10:19
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the rant, but it really feels hard to find teachers, coaches, counselors, or consultants who are genuinely invested in helping my child grow.
Am I asking for too much?
Yes.
Each of us is the main character in our own story … but not in anyone else’s.
Consult experts. That can be helpful in the aggregate. But keep in mind that by definition, no one cares as much as you do.
100% this. And the end of the day, it's your responsibility as the parent.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 10:01
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
I have 4 friends/classmates with multiple Ivy degrees who left lucrative careers to do college admissions counseling (both undergrad and grad). I can only assume it's sufficiently lucrative, because people are willing to pay anything that they think gets their kid a better shot at their future.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 09:15
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the rant, but it really feels hard to find teachers, coaches, counselors, or consultants who are genuinely invested in helping my child grow.
Am I asking for too much?
I don’t think you’re asking for too much. My high school kid has probably ten adults in her life, not related to us, who are genuinely invested her. Are they more invested in their own families? Of course. But they also genuinely care for her and want to help her grow.
Spend less time with people who think life is a zero-sum game. Avoid any institution ranked “number 1” in a list on the internet — those places are magnets for zero-sum people. Look for schools, churches, etc., that attract idealists and people who want to make the world better. They’ll want to help your kid be better too.
Anonymous
09/17/2025 08:00
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
it’s funny i’ve noticed with college coaches some like to include parents in discussions and some don’t. The latter is better imo as this is essentially a business negotiation. But we allow coaches to direct this - and one who wanted to only speak with our DC definitely felt misled as our dopey kid likely unintentionally misrepresented status of other offers/visits. This would not have happened if we were on call so to the coach I say play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Anonymous
09/17/2025 07:35
Subject: Everything feels like a business when it comes to college admissions
What’s funny is that a lot of people dismiss the people giving “free” advice from their school or the colleges. They think that good advice is paid for, but we’ve seen that isn’t necessarily correct.