Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:52
Subject: Re:should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you need to spend 20k per kid per year if you’re already spending on private school tuition. That doesn’t make sense at your HHI.
If they don't, they will feel poor because the other kids will have horse back riding and other pursuits. My daughter is in public and where she rides, nearly all the kids come from private schools.
Yeah. You could have picked a less expensive activity.
Oh, we don't have a problem with that.
But I'm telling OP that if she's in a private, she might find herself feeling poor if she's not able to have a similar lifestyle than the average private school family. It also depends on the private, but as others have pointed out, there's really no benefit to enrolling in a cheaper private - they're not going to be good.
I live in a wealthy neighborhood. A lot of the 300K families just put their kids in the local public, which has a good reputation. That way they can live comfortably, instead of feeling cash-strapped. The wealth in top privates is something else. You do NOT want to be the full-pay family who struggles.
How would you know what the average private school family does, if your daughter attends public? It depends on the school, too.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:49
Subject: Re:should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you need to spend 20k per kid per year if you’re already spending on private school tuition. That doesn’t make sense at your HHI.
If they don't, they will feel poor because the other kids will have horse back riding and other pursuits. My daughter is in public and where she rides, nearly all the kids come from private schools.
Yeah. You could have picked a less expensive activity.
Oh, we don't have a problem with that.
But I'm telling OP that if she's in a private, she might find herself feeling poor if she's not able to have a similar lifestyle than the average private school family. It also depends on the private, but as others have pointed out, there's really no benefit to enrolling in a cheaper private - they're not going to be good.
I live in a wealthy neighborhood. A lot of the 300K families just put their kids in the local public, which has a good reputation. That way they can live comfortably, instead of feeling cash-strapped. The wealth in top privates is something else. You do NOT want to be the full-pay family who struggles.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:46
Subject: should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:We moved to get a more pleasant neighborhood and the "best" public schools. In our case, it was also a better commute. The real estate was blindingly expensive, but at least we still have it, whereas private school tuition is consumable money - you don't get it back.
Financially, it was the best decision we could have made. Educationally, it was too, because it turns out one of our kids has special needs and his needs were well served in those schools. We looked at private schools, for special needs, and regular ones, and we realized we'd need to spend extra on extra-curriculars and therapies anyway, so why not just go to a reputable public? And our kid without special needs is gifted and has taken advantage of all the public's advanced tracks, which are better than any private - except for English is the Achilles' heel of public. But you couldn't ask for a better math and science education anywhere.
When you say that college is covered, is it really? In-state colleges are 30-40K, and private universities are 90K a year, total cost of attendance. If your kids are young, it will get even more expensive than that.
But math and science are the easiest to supplement. And science isn’t taught in most public schools until late elementary to middle school. I think reading, writing, and content knowledge or key in the early years.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:45
Subject: Re:should we choose private or public
Look at student body and families and look at the teachers and curriculum. Pay attention to teacher turnover and admin’s views and policies rather than just test scores. Those are the factors that go into what makes a school great (or not so great).
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:43
Subject: should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:Unless you manage to get your kids in a top private school, I think it's money down the drain. A good public is going to give your kids a better education. So the question is: is your public good enough? Is there a better public school cluster that has a reasonable commute?
Not necessarily. I’m one of the few who has seen both from many angles. Attended private and public in different geographic areas. Taught at private and public in DMV and elsewhere. Currently have kids in private (switched from “great” public rated “10/10 GS). Our middling private school far outstrips out “top ranked,” “can’t go wrong with” public.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:40
Subject: Re:should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you need to spend 20k per kid per year if you’re already spending on private school tuition. That doesn’t make sense at your HHI.
If they don't, they will feel poor because the other kids will have horse back riding and other pursuits. My daughter is in public and where she rides, nearly all the kids come from private schools.
Yeah. You could have picked a less expensive activity.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:23
Subject: should we choose private or public
It depends how bad your public is, whether you're prepared to move to a better district, and how much "noise" you're willing to tolerate for your long-term financial wellbeing.
Because given your financial picture, I don't think you can afford the best privates. And I want to be very clear that a "regular" private is not going to give your child a better education that a "regular" public, if the public is MCPS, FCPS or other reputable systems of the DC region.
Your husband is putting too much importance on socio-emotional, soft indicators. I don't think they're worth 100K a year, honestly. This isn't college (which is going to cost that much when your kids are of age).
You need to parent your kids so they can be resilient and thrive in public.
Because given your financial picture, I don't think you can afford the best privates. And I want to be very clear that a "regular" private is not going to give your child a better education that a "regular" public, if the public is MCPS, FCPS or other reputable systems of the DC region.
Your husband is putting too much importance on socio-emotional, soft indicators. I don't think they're worth 100K a year, honestly. This isn't college (which is going to cost that much when your kids are of age).
You need to parent your kids so they can be resilient and thrive in public.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:22
Subject: should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I will support private MS at any K-8 or 6-12 school hands down over public. Will not support it at a private k-12. Every single one in this area, the MS is the weak link by default.
K-8’s use MS to prepare kids for the most rigorous HS options. 6-12 schools use MS to prep kids for their own rigor of HS.
No this is absurd.
Public schools are way more academic than most private ones, especially any religious-based ones.
Sidwell is sponsored by the Quakers. StAlbans/NCS are sponsored by Episcopal Church. All 3 are religiously based and all 3 are very competitive with ANY non-magnet public HS in metro DC.
Perhaps PP was intending to criticize some smaller, newer, and more evangelical private schools?
(Even then, I doubt any poster here has looked in depth at all the religiously-based schools in metro DC.)
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:17
Subject: should we choose private or public
Unless you manage to get your kids in a top private school, I think it's money down the drain. A good public is going to give your kids a better education. So the question is: is your public good enough? Is there a better public school cluster that has a reasonable commute?
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:15
Subject: Re:should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you need to spend 20k per kid per year if you’re already spending on private school tuition. That doesn’t make sense at your HHI.
If they don't, they will feel poor because the other kids will have horse back riding and other pursuits. My daughter is in public and where she rides, nearly all the kids come from private schools.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:11
Subject: should we choose private or public
We moved to get a more pleasant neighborhood and the "best" public schools. In our case, it was also a better commute. The real estate was blindingly expensive, but at least we still have it, whereas private school tuition is consumable money - you don't get it back.
Financially, it was the best decision we could have made. Educationally, it was too, because it turns out one of our kids has special needs and his needs were well served in those schools. We looked at private schools, for special needs, and regular ones, and we realized we'd need to spend extra on extra-curriculars and therapies anyway, so why not just go to a reputable public? And our kid without special needs is gifted and has taken advantage of all the public's advanced tracks, which are better than any private - except for English is the Achilles' heel of public. But you couldn't ask for a better math and science education anywhere.
When you say that college is covered, is it really? In-state colleges are 30-40K, and private universities are 90K a year, total cost of attendance. If your kids are young, it will get even more expensive than that.
Financially, it was the best decision we could have made. Educationally, it was too, because it turns out one of our kids has special needs and his needs were well served in those schools. We looked at private schools, for special needs, and regular ones, and we realized we'd need to spend extra on extra-curriculars and therapies anyway, so why not just go to a reputable public? And our kid without special needs is gifted and has taken advantage of all the public's advanced tracks, which are better than any private - except for English is the Achilles' heel of public. But you couldn't ask for a better math and science education anywhere.
When you say that college is covered, is it really? In-state colleges are 30-40K, and private universities are 90K a year, total cost of attendance. If your kids are young, it will get even more expensive than that.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 12:01
Subject: should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:Public for elementary is good because the kids can make friends in the neighborhood. They will miss this if you do private in elementary. Just apply for middle school; it’s a process but manageable.
I think this is very dependent on where you live. If you live in upper NW, you’re just as likely to run into school friends in the neighborhood. We regularly see kids from school at the pool, the playground, restaurants, rec soccer teams, etc. I also think our private does a great job of facilitating events for families so kids see each other outside of the school day.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 10:46
Subject: should we choose private or public
Public for elementary is good because the kids can make friends in the neighborhood. They will miss this if you do private in elementary. Just apply for middle school; it’s a process but manageable.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 10:41
Subject: Re:should we choose private or public
I don’t think you need to spend 20k per kid per year if you’re already spending on private school tuition. That doesn’t make sense at your HHI.
Anonymous
09/16/2025 10:29
Subject: should we choose private or public
Anonymous wrote:I will support private MS at any K-8 or 6-12 school hands down over public. Will not support it at a private k-12. Every single one in this area, the MS is the weak link by default.
K-8’s use MS to prepare kids for the most rigorous HS options. 6-12 schools use MS to prep kids for their own rigor of HS.
No this is absurd.
Public schools are way more academic than most private ones, especially any religious-based ones.