Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does this infuriate you? It may have started as one time writer’s block but your hovering and frustration are now feeding it.

Not OP, but speaking of people who need help on their writing, there are ways to say what you just said that can be received by someone concerned about their kid... and then there's the way you said it. Which you already know is acidic, shaming and _itchy. Which was probably your intention, but just pointing it out so OP knows to ignore advice delivered this way, even if there's a good or worthwhile point hidden inside the snark.

It’s not normal to be infuriated by a child who is struggling academically, and it can have really damaging impacts on her relationship with her child. That’s not something a writing tutor is going to be able to fix. She needs to look within and figure out why she’s having this reaction.

You don’t understand, really? I don’t know about infuriating- but it is certainly frustrating to see you kid obviously struggling yet they deny they are and refuse help. And just want to continue on like nothing is wrong

"infuriates me to no end" were OPs words, for what are passing grades. I do not understand that.

It's because she wants a straight A student with the perfect record so he can get into ivy and major in what she has selected so she can brag to her friends. She's infuriated because he's not following the plans she has for him.

This was so me. Late ADHD diagnosis as well.
A tutor would not have helped.

This was my kid - very late diagnosis of autism, ADHD, Anxiety disorder. Writing a paper is simply not in her skill set.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does this infuriate you? It may have started as one time writer’s block but your hovering and frustration are now feeding it.

Not OP, but speaking of people who need help on their writing, there are ways to say what you just said that can be received by someone concerned about their kid... and then there's the way you said it. Which you already know is acidic, shaming and _itchy. Which was probably your intention, but just pointing it out so OP knows to ignore advice delivered this way, even if there's a good or worthwhile point hidden inside the snark.

It’s not normal to be infuriated by a child who is struggling academically, and it can have really damaging impacts on her relationship with her child. That’s not something a writing tutor is going to be able to fix. She needs to look within and figure out why she’s having this reaction.

You don’t understand, really? I don’t know about infuriating- but it is certainly frustrating to see you kid obviously struggling yet they deny they are and refuse help. And just want to continue on like nothing is wrong

"infuriates me to no end" were OPs words, for what are passing grades. I do not understand that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does this infuriate you? It may have started as one time writer’s block but your hovering and frustration are now feeding it.

Not OP, but speaking of people who need help on their writing, there are ways to say what you just said that can be received by someone concerned about their kid... and then there's the way you said it. Which you already know is acidic, shaming and _itchy. Which was probably your intention, but just pointing it out so OP knows to ignore advice delivered this way, even if there's a good or worthwhile point hidden inside the snark.

It’s not normal to be infuriated by a child who is struggling academically, and it can have really damaging impacts on her relationship with her child. That’s not something a writing tutor is going to be able to fix. She needs to look within and figure out why she’s having this reaction.

You don’t understand, really? I don’t know about infuriating- but it is certainly frustrating to see you kid obviously struggling yet they deny they are and refuse help. And just want to continue on like nothing is wrong

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does this infuriate you? It may have started as one time writer’s block but your hovering and frustration are now feeding it.

Not OP, but speaking of people who need help on their writing, there are ways to say what you just said that can be received by someone concerned about their kid... and then there's the way you said it. Which you already know is acidic, shaming and _itchy. Which was probably your intention, but just pointing it out so OP knows to ignore advice delivered this way, even if there's a good or worthwhile point hidden inside the snark.

It’s not normal to be infuriated by a child who is struggling academically, and it can have really damaging impacts on her relationship with her child. That’s not something a writing tutor is going to be able to fix. She needs to look within and figure out why she’s having this reaction.

OP you've already gotten some great tips about finding a tutor or some online programming that may help. I just wanted to chime in on a different aspect of your post, which is that you yourself sounded stuck when your DS was clearly struggling but refusing help. Just wanted to offer that when a hardheaded teen (because aren't they all hardheaded! Ok, most anyway ) insists they don't need help, sometimes it's helpful to point out what may seem obvious but may not be obvious to them. And pointing in it out in a loving, gentle way, maybe even starting by saying something like "You've shown great judgement on so many things and you've clearly been trying to get these assignments written. But sometimes even when we try our best, we have to accept that maybe we're struggling in a way that we haven't figured out how to break out of on our own. The fact that you work so hard [say that even if he hasn't really been trying that hard and instead was surfing the net on his laptop] but the writing doesn't happen has to be accepted and there are some resources out there that exist to help with this exact type of situation. We're going to try a new approach, because I know you want this to not be this hard and I know you've got great things to write, you just have to get unstuck."

That is all obviously in my particular "mom voice"; you can say it or whatever alternate you think is best, but the bottom line is that when our kids are stuck and they insist they've got it under control and don't need any help, overall it's good to do what you did and try to give him that chance to show he's getting the work done, but when it's clearly not improving you gotta name it as gently as possible and let him know there are other resources and you're going to try them. And if he says he doesn't want to try a tutor or writing coach or whatever, tell him he's got to get unstuck and ask him what he's going to do differently now that will get him unstuck? If he's got no ideas, then say ok, part of my job as a parent is to bring other tools to the table, and you really should not dismiss other approaches without even trying them.

Anonymous wrote:Why does this infuriate you? It may have started as one time writer’s block but your hovering and frustration are now feeding it.

Not OP, but speaking of people who need help on their writing, there are ways to say what you just said that can be received by someone concerned about their kid... and then there's the way you said it. Which you already know is acidic, shaming and _itchy. Which was probably your intention, but just pointing it out so OP knows to ignore advice delivered this way, even if there's a good or worthwhile point hidden inside the snark.

We have found it very helpful to break the task into smaller steps and to do it offline.
1) Outline or graphic organizer with pencil and paper
2) Find supporting quotes in the book, write down page numbers
3) Turn off WiFi and start writing (if you have a Chromebook, may need to turn on WiFi occasionally to save work). Just get the ideas down
4) Edit - do own editing, then spell check, then read aloud and edit, then have a parent read.

Some schools stopped teaching "how to write a paper" at some point. Was DC explicitly taught this? If not, that might be part of the problem.

Other schools still teach kids the process: sentence outline for the paper, introductory paragraph, supporting paragraphs with references, how to cite references, concluding paragraph, and so on.

Our school, which is filled with average kids, starts teaching writing papers in 2nd grade - where the goal is for the student simply to write 3 correct sentences on the same topic. They gradually ratchet up expectations, so that by 6th grade kids have to write a 3 page paper using the process outlined above.