Anonymous wrote:My daughter's boyfriend broke with her right before she left for college. She was sad but within a week, she didn't really care anymore. She is having a blast at college.

Good for her but she was clearly not serious enough and probably he saw that.

Anonymous wrote:How did your kid handle it all?

No need to breakup. They are teens, its not a legal divorce after all serious relationship. Just let it run an organic course, if it survives it survives, if it fades away, that's fine too.

I learned from my own experience not to really worry about or consider the relationship you are in when choosing a school.

My HS BF was a year behind me, so we weren't going through the school process at the school time - it made it easier, probably.

But I was very clear that I was picking the best school for me all along. And I landed at a place 8 hours from home.

The scenario is (but I have never actually heard the straight truth) that he and my best friend from my neighborhood were both sad that I was going away...yeah, take your guess where that story goes.

We broke up before my official graduation, which gave me a whole summer to process. I went off to a school where I knew no one and didn't have to stress about a long distance relationship.

That said, my now-husband and I DID do a long distance relationship - me here and him in Hawaii (he was in the military). We were 22 at the time when it started. So, long distance isn't always kiss of death.

My daughter did leave for school still with a boy at home - 8 hours away. That ended after a few weeks and she was with a new guy, who she is still seeing despite having had to leave school and come back home. They are also long distance, but he seems pretty serious. She's 19.5. We'll see.

Anyway, the statistics are not in favor of high school sweethearts, but that's up to them to decide. My parents met in HS and have been married over 50 years now (together over 60).

It seems like a right of passage that many have to go through. It is a tough one, but I think it is a growing experience.

Yes, I know I wrote a book.

Anonymous wrote:Mine broke off a two-year very sweet relationship. It was absolutely the right thing to do, of course, and what I would have recommended if anyone had asked me. But I hope they find a way to remain friends, or become friends again.

My HS son is in a very sweet and committed relationship. They love each other, get along really well, support each other, etc. And yes, I know that their brains aren't fully formed, but it's unquestionably a strong, positive, and healthy romantic relationship.

I don't know what will happen when they leave for college, but I try to be supportive and open-minded unless their commitment to the relationship is undermining their ability to make a good college choice or if it begins to negatively impact their college experience.

I'm a pretty cynical person by nature, so I'm hesitant to admit that young love can result in a lasting, positive relationship, but sometimes it does. I'm not going to encourage my son to be "one and done", but if he is...worse things have happened.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's boyfriend broke with her right before she left for college. She was sad but within a week, she didn't really care anymore. She is having a blast at college.

I'm glad she is having a blast. I think this speaks to how serious they really were. I know of 3 couples who have broken up since starting college (so they lasted 2-3 weeks). All three of them are still sad, even through they know it's for the best.

My daughter's boyfriend broke with her right before she left for college. She was sad but within a week, she didn't really care anymore. She is having a blast at college.

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who didn’t. Followed the boy to a far away school. As one would predict, they broke up, and she had to run into him often on campus , see who he was dating, etc.

I think it is better, at this age, to break up. If it is meant to be, they will find each other again. But they need time to figure out who they are.

This is literally the opposite of what OP was asking. 🤦‍♀️

Mine broke off a two-year very sweet relationship. It was absolutely the right thing to do, of course, and what I would have recommended if anyone had asked me. But I hope they find a way to remain friends, or become friends again.

I'm a high school assistant principal and I advise my kids to break up before going off to college. Someone always cheats, and it also holds them back socially.

Last year, mine went to the same school as his girlfriend (his first choice, her second choice) and they broke up by Halloween. Much better for both of them, I think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt met my uncle in band camp around age 14.

I have another relative whose husband fell in love with her when she was a fairy in a late elementary/middle school play.

These people were Boomers but lived in different cities. The key was being in the same high school and dating through high school.

It's not the 60s anymore.

Yeah, we have bumble and hinge now. Not sure that is an upgrade.

DD broke off things after first year. She is so much happier now without the constant drama from the BF. She is busy academically but also is loving her social life.

Anonymous wrote:My aunt met my uncle in band camp around age 14.

I have another relative whose husband fell in love with her when she was a fairy in a late elementary/middle school play.

These people were Boomers but lived in different cities. The key was being in the same high school and dating through high school.

It's not the 60s anymore.

Anonymous wrote:How is a high school relationship "serious"? They are not thinking about marriage at that point, their brains are not fully developed and they do not have the maturity or independence to tackle on any serious issues without help from their parents. Basically, they are still kids.

+1

What are APs?