Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 17:58     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:I’ve had individual therapy and couples therapy and tried different types of therapies.

What am I doing wrong? Am I just too messed up to help?

My issues are generalized anxiety, social anxiety and anger issues.


Talk therapy is mostly designed to help you lessen the burden of your purse. That's it.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 17:51     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
I have CPTSD from being sexually abused as a child. I had good talk therapy around ages 21-22. Then, it just never helped me that much again. I did other types of therapy and one helped immensely.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 17:47     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
I wish I could get back all of the money I threw away on therapy. The person who said therapy is a place somewhere between placebo and con artist is spot on. Ugh.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 14:09     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:Do you have borderline personality disorder?


No, I don’t think so. Although I think I have several symptoms - primarily intense anger at times that feels inappropriate.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 14:06     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:IMHO, therapy shouldn’t be a complaint-fest only. Does your therapist give you homework on how to handle your issue? To me, therapy should have an end date.


Yea, some did.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 14:05     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you take medication too? The research suggests that for some people it's the combination of meds and therapy that works. Some people need the medication to be open to the strategies and able to apply them.

I'm sure this thread will turn into therapist bashing too and yes, there are some poor therapists. The thing is if you truly want to get better I don't think a bunch of people venting about bad therapists helped. Yes, the exist and yes sometimes you have to shop around, but if you have been to a bunch, which it sounds like you have then I would also be looking at finding the right medication and the right combo of meds and therapy.


Op yes I’ve been on medication and I have shopped around a lot. I’ve worked with therapists for years. Nothing really helped. In fact, my dh and I have had two couples therapists. One we worked with on and off for 2+ years. One we worked with for about a year.


I am sorry to hear that. Have you tried different medications? There are people with treatment resistant mental health issues. I assume you ruled out everything medical like thyroid issues, vitamin D deficiency, Lyme and other things that can cause psychiatric symptoms? I would look into someone who deals with complex cases perhaps at NIH where it is strictly based on research. It's hard to be in that situation. As I said there are poor therapists and psychiatrists, but the fact you have shopped around a lot, put in full effort, applied the skills and have not gotten any relief makes me think this is complicated. There are genetic tests to suggest which medications may be more effective.

As I mentioned before, I strongly suggest focusing on finding a person who deals with complex cases rather than bashing the field. I have a child with a rare medical issue. I could waste years venting about the doctors who weren't helpful and poor bedside manner and inept clinical skills, but I pushed myself to simply focus on the top medical facilities and getting the best doctors involved. His prognosis was poor and I am happy to say that knock on wood he is what some would consider a medical miracle. Yes, some doctors were incompetent and I need to acknowledge that and it was frustrating, but if I got lost in that he would still be very ill and likely would be getting multiple surgeries and treatments. Keep pushing OP. Don't get lost in the trash.


I took the genetic tests for meds and they weren’t particularly helpful. Through trial and error, I have found that Prozac helps some, but Paxil is by far the best med for me. Genetic tests said otherwise
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 13:11     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
IMHO, therapy shouldn’t be a complaint-fest only. Does your therapist give you homework on how to handle your issue? To me, therapy should have an end date.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 12:34     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you take medication too? The research suggests that for some people it's the combination of meds and therapy that works. Some people need the medication to be open to the strategies and able to apply them.

I'm sure this thread will turn into therapist bashing too and yes, there are some poor therapists. The thing is if you truly want to get better I don't think a bunch of people venting about bad therapists helped. Yes, the exist and yes sometimes you have to shop around, but if you have been to a bunch, which it sounds like you have then I would also be looking at finding the right medication and the right combo of meds and therapy.


Op yes I’ve been on medication and I have shopped around a lot. I’ve worked with therapists for years. Nothing really helped. In fact, my dh and I have had two couples therapists. One we worked with on and off for 2+ years. One we worked with for about a year.


I am sorry to hear that. Have you tried different medications? There are people with treatment resistant mental health issues. I assume you ruled out everything medical like thyroid issues, vitamin D deficiency, Lyme and other things that can cause psychiatric symptoms? I would look into someone who deals with complex cases perhaps at NIH where it is strictly based on research. It's hard to be in that situation. As I said there are poor therapists and psychiatrists, but the fact you have shopped around a lot, put in full effort, applied the skills and have not gotten any relief makes me think this is complicated. There are genetic tests to suggest which medications may be more effective.

As I mentioned before, I strongly suggest focusing on finding a person who deals with complex cases rather than bashing the field. I have a child with a rare medical issue. I could waste years venting about the doctors who weren't helpful and poor bedside manner and inept clinical skills, but I pushed myself to simply focus on the top medical facilities and getting the best doctors involved. His prognosis was poor and I am happy to say that knock on wood he is what some would consider a medical miracle. Yes, some doctors were incompetent and I need to acknowledge that and it was frustrating, but if I got lost in that he would still be very ill and likely would be getting multiple surgeries and treatments. Keep pushing OP. Don't get lost in the trash.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 12:28     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How hard do you actually work on yourself and the issues the therapists bring up. A couple bad therapists is one thing. Multiple therapists and none helping usually means the problem lies with you.


Therapists don't actually do anything. It isn't surprising that they aren't going to help.


Well I had a therapist who was quite helpful so there are some good ones out there.


Sugar pills help a lot of people, too, but that doesn't mean they're good.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 11:47     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Same OP, SAME starting to think it's a scam. Also you know the saying that they're crazier than the rest of us, also starting to think thats true too.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 11:43     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:It just doesnt feel good to have a positive 50 minutes in therapy and then a drop back into your regular life with nothing really feeling any different. I found more success with alternative and holistic therapies, but ymmv. My psychologist was helpful to an extent (i learned to get my reactions back as I was on mute for a lot of things due to a very fearful up-bringing). She modeled healthy reactions.

But the amount of money I paid her was a real downer, and the therapeutic relationship did a number on me too.

I don't really see therapy as the saving grace i used to. Its so so expensive and it's not really real, and entirely affected by the therapists own life circumstances, beliefs, and values.


That’s not what evidence based therapy for anxiety is like.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 11:42     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How hard do you actually work on yourself and the issues the therapists bring up. A couple bad therapists is one thing. Multiple therapists and none helping usually means the problem lies with you.


Therapists don't actually do anything. It isn't surprising that they aren't going to help.

Therapists hold a mirror up which can reveal your maladaptive thoughts, behaviors and coping mechanisms. They can teach you healthier coping mechanisms and tools and skills for managing your emotions. Most of the work is done by the client outside of therapy where you employ those skills and tools. If you don't like/believe in/trust therapy, then don't go. It takes a desire and commitment to change and the strength to admit what role you play in your own issues for therapy to work.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 11:40     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:Most people do not understand therapy. Most do NOT need therapy but they have been told they need therapy. -signed a therapist


If you can say that to someone whose main issue is anxiety I kind of question where/how well you were trained.

There are extremely effective therapies for anxiety disorders but you have to find a specialist and you have to be willing to do the work, with or without medication. medication certainly felt like a quicker fix to me but I don’t want to be on it forever so therapy was something I invested in.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 11:37     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:Do you have borderline personality disorder?

That, or unresolved trauma/ codependant tendancies.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 11:36     Subject: I’ve never had a therapist that helped me with much
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you take medication too? The research suggests that for some people it's the combination of meds and therapy that works. Some people need the medication to be open to the strategies and able to apply them.

I'm sure this thread will turn into therapist bashing too and yes, there are some poor therapists. The thing is if you truly want to get better I don't think a bunch of people venting about bad therapists helped. Yes, the exist and yes sometimes you have to shop around, but if you have been to a bunch, which it sounds like you have then I would also be looking at finding the right medication and the right combo of meds and therapy.


Op yes I’ve been on medication and I have shopped around a lot. I’ve worked with therapists for years. Nothing really helped. In fact, my dh and I have had two couples therapists. One we worked with on and off for 2+ years. One we worked with for about a year.

You may not be looking at the small, incremental improvements you have experienced over the years. No one would invest that much time and money on services which don't improve things. No way you would keep turning up for appointments which didn't help. Try to remember your starting point before any therapy. You have changed, it is inevitable.