9 year old should not be in the front. Get high back boosters and pull over and tell them to stop and wait. Have consequences at home like no electronics for the rest of the day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull over every time they get out of hand. Yes, this will be very inconvenient for you. But it might work.

OP said they have done this.

Also, I don't understand why this would ever be effective, unless all three kids are REALLY eager to get where you're going. Why would they care that you've pulled over on the way home from school?

I’ve never understood this either. It never worked with my kids and we would end up sitting on the side of the road for ages (like an hour+) while they just continued to fight.

No real advice, just commiseration. I only have two and do have a third row but we still have non stop fighting that often gets physical on the drive home from school. I wear earplugs in the car to take the edge off because the noise really triggers me and that does nothing for the fighting but at least helps my stress level. I also put their backpacks in the front with me since they throw the backpacks or books from the backpacks at each other or hit each other with their water bottles.

Anonymous wrote:I would put the nine year old in the front.

Totally agree

Op, had a similar issue at the dinner table and used a combination of structured conversations and rewards for helping to solve it.

So the only conversations allowed in the car were structured conversations led by me with clear answers that everyone participate in. So I would say - I am going to say a letter and then everyone will name a food which starts with that letter, etc. This means there is no room for argument, and gets them in the habit of not fighting all the time.

I also did group rewards - so I would recognize when they were kind to each other and award points. When they hit the points number (as a group) everyone got a reward. Again, the idea is to build the habit of being kind to each other.

It’s hard to “stop” behaviors, and easier to replace them with something.

It sounds like you have tried individual iPads?

Twenty minutes is a good time slot for a show, or you could do a documentary in parts. If they're all watching one screen together, it may be easier to reset expectations that the ipad is only for the car, and that they will see the rest of the show or another episode next time.

Agree that a good podcast may also do the trick.

Booster seats with high backs and sides. They are over tired and stimulated. Pull over till they stop.

Sometimes you just need to survive. If screens work then go for it. Make it a rule that they’re only for the car and any fighting means they lose them until the next day’s car ride.

Ugh so awful! I’d say good in the car—keeps them occupied and all of kids with vulnerabilities need to eat IMMEDIATELY after school.

I’d do an audio book that requires them to listen—maybe Encyclopedia Brown or something similar where they are listening for clues. My kids also liked WOW! In the World podcast at that age.

Good luck OP!

You need.a bigger car.

3 row cars or put tall cardboard dividers between all 3 kids?