One year my daughter went by herself to homecoming. I was so nervous for her but she was fine and talked to a bunch of different groups of friends (and she's not especially social).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wonderful son would LOVE to go to homecoming. He he super shy and doesn't really have any friends. He talks to people, but doesn't hang out outside of school with anyone.

He went to one middle school dance with a girl and enjoyed it. 8th grade he could not find anyone to go with.

What can I do if anything? I've suggested he just ask some people what their plans are - but he won't do that.

Does he have a girl cousin around his age or little older?

Would be the talk of the school and a stud if he showed up with a HS girl who is his "out of town gf" if she'd play along with the ruse.

Wut? That is so weird. Probably no one will notice or care if he shows up with a random girl. It definitely doesn't make you a stud. This isnt a teen movie. Also why would lie about an out of town girlfriend and make the cousin pretend? So creepy.

But asking a non school friend or cousin is a fine idea if you dont make it a weird scheme.

True story: when my dd didn’t have a date for homecoming, my elderly mother suggested my dh accompany her so she’d have someone to dance with. I didn’t even know where to start with all the reasons that was a crazy bad idea, so I just told her I didn’t think the school would be letting 50 year old men into the dance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wonderful son would LOVE to go to homecoming. He he super shy and doesn't really have any friends. He talks to people, but doesn't hang out outside of school with anyone.

He went to one middle school dance with a girl and enjoyed it. 8th grade he could not find anyone to go with.

What can I do if anything? I've suggested he just ask some people what their plans are - but he won't do that.

Hire an escort?

This

Anonymous wrote:He could try going alone and possibly run into people he knows? My shy kid did this in both 7th and 8th grade. Chatted a bit with kids he knew from classes, but didn’t stay long. He mostly just wanted the experience. His high school hasn’t had a dance yet this year, so no idea what he’ll do.

This is what my dd did for homecoming freshman year. Not all high schools do this, but her high school always provides a separate, smaller space with snacks and games. Kids can come and go between the dance floor and this quieter space. DD reports that there are always boys in there, hanging out and playing games. The school did this for prom as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wonderful son would LOVE to go to homecoming. He he super shy and doesn't really have any friends. He talks to people, but doesn't hang out outside of school with anyone.

He went to one middle school dance with a girl and enjoyed it. 8th grade he could not find anyone to go with.

What can I do if anything? I've suggested he just ask some people what their plans are - but he won't do that.

Does he have a girl cousin around his age or little older?

Would be the talk of the school and a stud if he showed up with a HS girl who is his "out of town gf" if she'd play along with the ruse.

Wut? That is so weird. Probably no one will notice or care if he shows up with a random girl. It definitely doesn't make you a stud. This isnt a teen movie. Also why would lie about an out of town girlfriend and make the cousin pretend? So creepy.

But asking a non school friend or cousin is a fine idea if you dont make it a weird scheme.

pp again. I wouldn't make it easy for him to *not* to go to the dance. They couldn't just sit around and ignore what was happening at school. School was important, socially as well as academically. And yes there are challenges. That's why they work on these skills now.

Is there a sporting event to watch on tv? Earlier in the day? Guys come over. It's known you're feeding them well, and you drop them at the dance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wonderful son would LOVE to go to homecoming. He he super shy and doesn't really have any friends. He talks to people, but doesn't hang out outside of school with anyone.

He went to one middle school dance with a girl and enjoyed it. 8th grade he could not find anyone to go with.

What can I do if anything? I've suggested he just ask some people what their plans are - but he won't do that.

Does he have a girl cousin around his age or little older?

Would be the talk of the school and a stud if he showed up with a HS girl who is his "out of town gf" if she'd play along with the ruse.

That’s disgusting. Yes he certainly would be the talk of the town if he brought his cousin as his date since he’d be committing incest. Why would you encourage that? Yuck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wonderful son would LOVE to go to homecoming. He he super shy and doesn't really have any friends. He talks to people, but doesn't hang out outside of school with anyone.

He went to one middle school dance with a girl and enjoyed it. 8th grade he could not find anyone to go with.

What can I do if anything? I've suggested he just ask some people what their plans are - but he won't do that.

Does he have a girl cousin around his age or little older?

Would be the talk of the school and a stud if he showed up with a HS girl who is his "out of town gf" if she'd play along with the ruse.

No he would not. It's fine to bring a cousin, but no one will really notice or care. This is real life, not an 80s teen movie.

OP, what are his interests? It might not solve the immediate issue of HC, but if there are clubs he could get involved in at school, or activities outside of school he could do that align with his interests, that might be a way for him to form friendships.

Also, the online gaming rec and the idea of getting him an iphone weren't bad ones. Kids his age are learning to plan get togethers independently, and the extra step of separately contacting someone who they can't put in the group chat may not happen. Especially for boys, who seems to be perpetually light on details when planning stuff.

No advice but my DS is a senior and never did go to any of the dances. He has plenty of acquaintances but no friend group, so it sucks. Will be so happy to leave HS behind!

Is it common for freshmen at this school to go to Homecoming? And have dates?

I wouldn't worry about it. Even in junior and senior year, the norm is group things. For my boys, they both had very casual dates senior year, but it was still part of a larger group. The whole formal asking a girl to Homecoming and Prom is way too fraught for this generation of teenagers. My youngest boy even went to a Homecoming as "the date" with a girl at a different school he didn't even know in real life. Just online. It was still fun.

Homecoming and Prom aren't taken nearly as seriously today as it was back in the day. And if he's too shy to go alone this year, there are three more years to go with friends or maybe even a girlfriend.

Can he go with a pack of friends?

Anonymous wrote:Homecoming is early in the year - I think going and hoping to find some like minded friends may be the answer. I would aim for fashionably late and be ready to pick him up if he's not having a good time.

+1

I’m sure lot of boys are in the same boat, and he is likely to run into some others he knows. Worst case scenario, he checks it out and decides not to stay long.

At our school, not many underclassmen do “dates” for homecoming- they attend in groups or just go with a friend or two. More girls attend than boys. Upperclassmen are more likely to have dates (but still a lot of just attending in groups).

Homecoming is early in the year - I think going and hoping to find some like minded friends may be the answer. I would aim for fashionably late and be ready to pick him up if he's not having a good time.

Anonymous wrote:My wonderful son would LOVE to go to homecoming. He he super shy and doesn't really have any friends. He talks to people, but doesn't hang out outside of school with anyone.

He went to one middle school dance with a girl and enjoyed it. 8th grade he could not find anyone to go with.

What can I do if anything? I've suggested he just ask some people what their plans are - but he won't do that.

Does he have a girl cousin around his age or little older?

Would be the talk of the school and a stud if he showed up with a HS girl who is his "out of town gf" if she'd play along with the ruse.