I have no problem giving to kids collecting for expenses like a travel tournament or new uniforms. It’s not really any different from the neighbor kids coming by selling popcorn or wrapping paper for band uniforms. I would only give to the same kids who might stop by my house, not random kids I’ve never met. But, I don’t really need any overpriced popcorn or Girl Scout cookies. I will just give you the money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t usually. I know a family who lives in a house twice the size of mine, drives luxury cars, and sends 3 kids to private schools. The mom wears and carries designer everything. They take vacations to Europe every summer. The mom was diagnosed with breast cancer- thankfully, very early stage, she had a lumpectomy and I believe a short course of radiation. Of course this is terrifying for her and I understand and appreciate that. However I do not understand nor do I appreciate the GoFundMe for 50k for “health care costs” when she does have good health insurance and doesn’t work so no lost income. By the way , she didn’t change her families lifestyle at all. Still took those vacations and got those new shoes.

This is beyond tacky.

Something similar happened in my family (not blood relatives), but just luxury cars for years, some international travel, Disney every month, and simply spending 24/7.
I didn't donate, my sister did, but to benefit her nephew. I also didn't expect them to do the gofundme.This is their 2nd gofundme for two deaths in the family. I have been trying to think why. They just think it's normal part of trying to get funeral costs covered.
They do not put shopping and not having money together. Those are completely separate things for them. They bring in a lot of money- there's 8 grownups working in the family making ca $100k each and 2 homes only that they got 10-20 years ago. There's was only one child they had to support.
Long story short, they don't know how to save, invest. The house and yard is full of knick-knack and yes, ASD runs in the family.
They all will work til 67. They know schooling, work, buy a house, and shop. Now they know gofundme. They are all around ages 40-50. Imagine if they had invested just a little bit since 2000.
They don't know retirement investing beyond what work does for them. One said that she 'goes blank' if I try to talk about numbers. One started to talk about some lady having nice clothes as she walked by as I tried to tell her how important maxing out Roth IRA was. One said that they want to pay off the house first. The house cost $300k in 2008 when they bought it. How the heck are they still paying for it with 4 living in it.
I cannot explain their thinking. It's like they drift away and make no connections to spending and not having money.
Unemployment has been a problem as they are very specialized and specific, but not all and not at the same time.
They just do what the other do and none of them invests.
One partner of one family member does invest, but the family is not interested at all. It's just not their thing. Their use their garage as a storage and 3 trips to the stores a day at minimum. They are so happy at the store, any store.
No idea how this came about and became a norm for all of them.

Anonymous wrote:No. I don’t give what you don’t want to give or what the family does not need. My neighbors collected money for another neighbor (well off people) where the wife was terminally ill with cancer. Did the family need that? Absolutely not.

I opted to help where they needed the help and I could be useful to them.

With all my cancer treatments and inability to work we were lucky with the support of our family with helping with small children and we didn’t need to worry about money. I would be mortified if someone put up one of those for me. If they could still pay their bills there should be no reason to ask strangers for money.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t usually. I know a family who lives in a house twice the size of mine, drives luxury cars, and sends 3 kids to private schools. The mom wears and carries designer everything. They take vacations to Europe every summer. The mom was diagnosed with breast cancer- thankfully, very early stage, she had a lumpectomy and I believe a short course of radiation. Of course this is terrifying for her and I understand and appreciate that. However I do not understand nor do I appreciate the GoFundMe for 50k for “health care costs” when she does have good health insurance and doesn’t work so no lost income. By the way , she didn’t change her families lifestyle at all. Still took those vacations and got those new shoes.

This is beyond tacky.

Anonymous wrote:Appearing ain’t being

What if they are a private school/country club family? We are neither.

Anonymous wrote:I am barely middle class. So I wouldn't donate money to anyone better off than I am.

Same here.

I would not donate. However there are worse crimes out there than being tacky AF, so I wouldn't stop being friends.

don't donate.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t usually. I know a family who lives in a house twice the size of mine, drives luxury cars, and sends 3 kids to private schools. The mom wears and carries designer everything. They take vacations to Europe every summer. The mom was diagnosed with breast cancer- thankfully, very early stage, she had a lumpectomy and I believe a short course of radiation. Of course this is terrifying for her and I understand and appreciate that. However I do not understand nor do I appreciate the GoFundMe for 50k for “health care costs” when she does have good health insurance and doesn’t work so no lost income. By the way , she didn’t change her families lifestyle at all. Still took those vacations and got those new shoes.

No way this is real! I can’t believe someone would go that far. Even if they didn’t have the 50k because of spending, they could clearly take out a 50k loan with a minimal lifestyle adjustment to pay it off over time. No way!

I have never donated to a gofundme and probably never will. Id rather choose to help rather than be asked for help, and id also want to be familiar enough with their financial situation to know that they will really suffer without this help.

Most people appreciate in-person visits, baby/pet sitting, running errands and heat-and-eat meals. I don't think I've ever given money.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t usually. I know a family who lives in a house twice the size of mine, drives luxury cars, and sends 3 kids to private schools. The mom wears and carries designer everything. They take vacations to Europe every summer. The mom was diagnosed with breast cancer- thankfully, very early stage, she had a lumpectomy and I believe a short course of radiation. Of course this is terrifying for her and I understand and appreciate that. However I do not understand nor do I appreciate the GoFundMe for 50k for “health care costs” when she does have good health insurance and doesn’t work so no lost income. By the way , she didn’t change her families lifestyle at all. Still took those vacations and got those new shoes.

This is just a well-dressed beggar. Insurance covered her expenses; anything not addressed by insurance should be easily addressed with savings from an emergency fund. No such fund? Then they're risk-takers who gambled and lost, which is on them. They can sell assets if they need to. Going around with a hand out in these circumstances is more than merely distasteful, it's appalling.

Anonymous wrote:I am barely middle class. So I wouldn't donate money to anyone better off than I am.

I feel similar but I would donate homemade meals or offer to watch kids if needed.

I never donate to anyone. Investments are different.

Is this a need? (Health crisis, house burned down?) or is it a want? (Tournament fees, chemo for your dog?)

I’ll donate to anyone for the first, mostly just as a virtual hug since I don’t have skills to be more useful. But the latter? No way.