Anonymous wrote:Read walking on eggshells that someone here recommended. Any other books for family members dealing with relative diagnosed with BPD who started therapy/meds, but quickly stopped and middle-age so likely plan for no therapy/meds rest of life? Immediately family now divided on how to engage with BPD member, but most are deniers/enablers.

https://outofthefog.website/

Grayrock is the only option. Usually BPD happens along with addiction, criminality and promiscuity. It is evil in its purest form.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best book i've read on it (and sadly i've read many) is Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist

It really changed my life in terms of stopping the cycle of expecting reasonable behavior out of them and also being able to see their actions more objectively and not get emotionally caught up in it

I will read this. I am still in the emotionally caught up phase and take the bait too often-getting mad at their repeating false memories and madder still when telling in front of others that believe it. If only socially acceptable to hold up sign that says, “that’s not true but they have BPD so they think it is.”

It's good you have awareness that you are taking the bait, and your negative emotion only provides fuel. You also learn to let of what others think of you but also be prepared to lose some family members as you distance. As you stop feeding the beast with negative emotion, things will likely escalate before they taper, but eventually they find a new person with whom to exercise their demons. So, that cousin who believed your BPD relative, may gain a new understanding when targeted. Also, as more and more people distance, they can hit rock bottom and go back to therapy and meds-happened in my family, but also in my family once the person functioned better with therapy and meds, she declared herself fine and went off both.