Anonymous wrote:My top piece of advice is to find an elder law attorney asap. They will read your mom's LTC insurance fine print and tell you what it means. They will distill Medicare and Medicaid into understandable language (or put it in chatgpt lol). They will help you develop a plan given your parents meager income. They will help you navigate AL vs SN vs any other form of care.

If you can throw money at this situation, this is the best target for the most peace of mind.

Don't throw your money at actually paying for long term care. Just find out the best path forward within your parents financial options (meaning LTC and Medicaid when eligible).

This is good advice. Make the most of what they have. I have seen too many people get burned helping their parents financially only to deplete their resources when they have their own emergencies, take away from their retirement and be met zero appreciation from parents or siblings. I have heard it all even parents giving that money to spendy siblings and then asking for more. You figure out what they can afford and do what you can handle to support them in terms of visits, taking notes at doctor's appointments, visiting, etc. Now if you are very wealthy and it doesn't harm retirement/college fund/emergency fund (which needs to be large if you ever enter the realm of things like cancer)... then sure help financially assuming they were good parents and will not take advantage. You might not get the tax deduction you get with donations to charity, but you get the warm feeling of helping you loved one as they age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean…it’s not your job. You help them by taking them to appointments sometimes if they can’t take themselves, helping them with food delivery etc…But worrying about how you are going to be financially responsible is not your responsibility. It was their job as adults to make sure all their finances were stable for this time in their life.

Your job is to be a supportive child for them-but that’s it.

Wow. I’m sorry you hate your parents but most people don’t have this level of a dysfunctional relationship with theirs.

Ignore this poster. They come by every thread and accuse people of being terrible and dysfunctional, etc.