Anonymous
Post 09/07/2025 10:23     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is an emotional affair ?


When a wife is upset that her husband has friends.


It’s beyond friends. My xH had an EA - while I was laying in the hospital half dead from eclampsia and recovering from an emergency c section, and our DC was in the NICU weighing 3 pounds, he was busy writing cheesy love DMs to an ex-girlfriend about how special she is, how nobody else in the world understands him the way she does, how he hopes they can take a trip together, etc. Never even told her that he was married or that he had just had a child. That’s not friendship.


Did you take him back ?
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2025 10:22     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:What is an emotional affair ?


An affair is an affair. Zero difference IMO.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2025 10:16     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is an emotional affair ?


When a wife is upset that her husband has friends.


It’s beyond friends. My xH had an EA - while I was laying in the hospital half dead from eclampsia and recovering from an emergency c section, and our DC was in the NICU weighing 3 pounds, he was busy writing cheesy love DMs to an ex-girlfriend about how special she is, how nobody else in the world understands him the way she does, how he hopes they can take a trip together, etc. Never even told her that he was married or that he had just had a child. That’s not friendship.


It's not like you were available to talk to.

Maybe he thought you still might die.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2025 09:11     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is an emotional affair ?


When a wife is upset that her husband has friends.


It’s beyond friends. My xH had an EA - while I was laying in the hospital half dead from eclampsia and recovering from an emergency c section, and our DC was in the NICU weighing 3 pounds, he was busy writing cheesy love DMs to an ex-girlfriend about how special she is, how nobody else in the world understands him the way she does, how he hopes they can take a trip together, etc. Never even told her that he was married or that he had just had a child. That’s not friendship.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2025 09:07     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:What is an emotional affair ?


When a wife is upset that her husband has friends.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2025 06:09     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
What is an emotional affair ?
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 16:50     Subject: Re:Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:Don’t disclose he can criminally charge you for wiretap in most states.


Maybe she can find a prison wife.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 16:46     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Workplace affairs are stupid. Don't hand him over even if you're headed for divorce.

I would ask him to let you meet her to prove there's nothing going on. Or ask him to meet you for lunch one a week. Mess with their routine. She will notice.


My xH had an EA, and this is terrible advice. All he will do is paint the wife as crazy, controlling, and insecure, then use that to justify his actions. "See, I told you she was insane! Not like you, *YOU* understand me, you are so special!"

Honestly the best thing for OP to do is completely disengage from the marriage. Get in shape, upgrade her hair and wardrobe, start getting attention from men. Focus 100% on herself. Either he freaks out and stops the EA, or she gets some self-esteem, realizes she deserves better, and leaves (what I did).


If you are the host of a lunch between your wife and your lied about AP, whatever you say about "who is crazy" is questionable.

Personally I'd do a vibe check. A lot of the mate stealing AP women are flaky and insecure types. Seeing them in person might allow one to assess exactly what type of person is on the other side of the rope.

When your kids do bad things, do you just do the 180? Or do you let them know you're aware that they are up to stuff.

People who are left to their own devices get that delicious feeling of a successfully hidden secret. I don't think it's too controlling to thwart that.

If DH and AP want to live in a world where the wife is the crazy one for checking in, then things are in a very bad way anyway.



It doesn’t work that way. When I was 22, I worked in a restaurant where the 50 year old manager was having an affair with a 25 year old waitress. The wife came in ALL the time and would sit in the waitresses’s section. All it did was make the wife look crazy.

The best thing to do is just leave. Don’t do the pick me dance, don’t try to play it cool, don’t try to shut it down. They broke the marriage vows, so leave.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 16:39     Subject: Re:Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Don’t disclose he can criminally charge you for wiretap in most states.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 16:25     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
He is not having an affair.
You can’t be half pregnant you either are or not.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 10:43     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:pretty sure its only illegal in a court of law. You arent suing him, youre divorcing him and using it as leverage because hes such a piece of sh*t.


False. For example, in Virginia it is a felony, with up to 5 years in prison and a fine of up to $2500.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 10:39     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:Not illegal in many states.


It doesn't sound like she was a party in the conversation she recorded. That's illegal everywhere.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 10:37     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Workplace affairs are stupid. Don't hand him over even if you're headed for divorce.

I would ask him to let you meet her to prove there's nothing going on. Or ask him to meet you for lunch one a week. Mess with their routine. She will notice.


My xH had an EA, and this is terrible advice. All he will do is paint the wife as crazy, controlling, and insecure, then use that to justify his actions. "See, I told you she was insane! Not like you, *YOU* understand me, you are so special!"

Honestly the best thing for OP to do is completely disengage from the marriage. Get in shape, upgrade her hair and wardrobe, start getting attention from men. Focus 100% on herself. Either he freaks out and stops the EA, or she gets some self-esteem, realizes she deserves better, and leaves (what I did).


If you are the host of a lunch between your wife and your lied about AP, whatever you say about "who is crazy" is questionable.

Personally I'd do a vibe check. A lot of the mate stealing AP women are flaky and insecure types. Seeing them in person might allow one to assess exactly what type of person is on the other side of the rope.

When your kids do bad things, do you just do the 180? Or do you let them know you're aware that they are up to stuff.

People who are left to their own devices get that delicious feeling of a successfully hidden secret. I don't think it's too controlling to thwart that.

If DH and AP want to live in a world where the wife is the crazy one for checking in, then things are in a very bad way anyway.

Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 10:16     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Anonymous wrote:Workplace affairs are stupid. Don't hand him over even if you're headed for divorce.

I would ask him to let you meet her to prove there's nothing going on. Or ask him to meet you for lunch one a week. Mess with their routine. She will notice.


My xH had an EA, and this is terrible advice. All he will do is paint the wife as crazy, controlling, and insecure, then use that to justify his actions. "See, I told you she was insane! Not like you, *YOU* understand me, you are so special!"

Honestly the best thing for OP to do is completely disengage from the marriage. Get in shape, upgrade her hair and wardrobe, start getting attention from men. Focus 100% on herself. Either he freaks out and stops the EA, or she gets some self-esteem, realizes she deserves better, and leaves (what I did).
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2025 10:02     Subject: Did you disclose your voice activated recording?
Print out or transcribe what your heard (preferably sexts if there) then start randomly reading them out loud when you guys are getting into bed or having coffee.

10/10 recommend was a very satisfying moment for me