Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

Women do stuff like this to their husbands more than the other way around.

Not statistically. Data says otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

+1 this is statistically much more common for men to do than for women to do.

That's likely true but most women have a support network of female friends that men just don't have.

Because we work on that our entire lives. It’s not just handed to us.

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

Women do stuff like this to their husbands more than the other way around.

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is a POS but so you are. You speak only in the perspective of, what does he owe her? He owes her, her vows. He made the decision to marry later in life, this is something that should have been thought about. What comes around goes around.

This is OP. I am actually quite upset by it and I'm having a hard time having a relationship with my brother now. He has really abandoned her. He is wealthy and she has both medicare and long term care, so it is not about finances. He is one of those guys who wants to be taken care like a child and doesnt lift a finger. So when she became sick, it is like he turned off a switch that she was no longer going to be there for him. What also shocks me even more is that once she left (she went to a rather depressing facility) he has made every excuse not to visit (too far, nothing to do, can't handle it emotionally) and basically is done with her altogether and roaring to date. So it upsets me to watch this.

Anonymous wrote:Before we start to judge too harshly…her family may be glad to get rid of him. It would be terrible for your mom to remarry and less than a year later this basic stranger to you gets to make all her decisions and then inherit all her stuff.

I feel like op would have included that. And that’s also not consistent with ghosting the poor woman (who at this stage of dementia almost certainly is perfectly aware she’s being dumped ruthlessly.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

+1 this is statistically much more common for men to do than for women to do.

It's true that men are more likely to leave their spouse under these conditions, but the vast majority of men (over 75%) do not leave their wives when their wife becomes incapacitated.

If this was one of my parents I'd be thrilled the new spouse was out of the picture to let the family make the decisions and not go through a virtual stranger.

Before we start to judge too harshly…her family may be glad to get rid of him. It would be terrible for your mom to remarry and less than a year later this basic stranger to you gets to make all her decisions and then inherit all her stuff.

Why would someone like your brother even get married-in sickness and in health is really the cornerstone of the institution. Why didn’t he just date her?

In answer to your question, yes he does have a moral obligation to her and I hope he feels like a pariah now.

Your brother is a POS but so you are. You speak only in the perspective of, what does he owe her? He owes her, her vows. He made the decision to marry later in life, this is something that should have been thought about. What comes around goes around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

+1 this is statistically much more common for men to do than for women to do.

That's likely true but most women have a support network of female friends that men just don't have.

Men are perfectly capable of creating their own network and friends, they’d just rather b#%^* about how women are difficult instead. It’s always women’s fault 🙄

Anonymous wrote:Who would date him after this? Nobody with good values. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with him.

Agreed. What a shady POS. No way I’d want to include this person in my friends or social group.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

+1 this is statistically much more common for men to do than for women to do.

That's likely true but most women have a support network of female friends that men just don't have.

Women build that network. It doesn't come to them for free.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men being men.

+1 this is statistically much more common for men to do than for women to do.

That's likely true but most women have a support network of female friends that men just don't have.

This is why I wouldn’t remarry if I became single in older age. Don’t want to combine finances and don’t want to be a nursemaid or cook/maid.