Anonymous
Post 09/04/2025 12:57     Subject: SES cliques in college
This is actually THE primary reason I want my kids to attend top publics rather than private schools. We can easily afford either (and privates would probably give more merit apart from Ivies) but I started at a private and transferred to a top public because I did not like the “rich kid” vibe at all. YMMV.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2025 11:06     Subject: SES cliques in college
Down to earth rich people hang out with non rich people, just like always. FWIW out of my mixed SES college friend group, one of the poorest back then is far and away the richest now.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2025 10:56     Subject: SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Very stratified at my kid's Ivy as well. Kids really don't mix by social class.


That’s too bad. When I was an Ivy undergrad, we had randomly assigned first year roommates so we had all sorts of pairings-rich boarding school kid with first gen immigrant kid. Southern kid whose family had been in their state for a dozen generations with an international student.

I guess nowadays singles are much more common and kids meet online well before college and decide who they want to room with and I assume they mostly pick roommates with similar backgrounds.


Ivies still assign roommates. That doesn’t mean they become fast friends. I had four roommates freshman year at Princeton. None of us became friends with each other.


Princeton is notoriously cliquey

Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 22:52     Subject: SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Very stratified at my kid's Ivy as well. Kids really don't mix by social class.


That’s too bad. When I was an Ivy undergrad, we had randomly assigned first year roommates so we had all sorts of pairings-rich boarding school kid with first gen immigrant kid. Southern kid whose family had been in their state for a dozen generations with an international student.

I guess nowadays singles are much more common and kids meet online well before college and decide who they want to room with and I assume they mostly pick roommates with similar backgrounds.


Ivies still assign roommates. That doesn’t mean they become fast friends. I had four roommates freshman year at Princeton. None of us became friends with each other.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 22:46     Subject: SES cliques in college
Can people post the names of their schools?
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 22:43     Subject: SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do the rich kids mingle with the financial aid kids on your child's campus, or is it stratified like the real world?


It's not intentionally stratified. But uber rich kids can bond over expensive activities, going to NYC for the weekend and staying 5 star hotels, traveling on private plane to hamptons, travel to expensive places over Christmas and summer breaks, eating at expensive restaurants regularly and buying designer clothes. Expensive ski kits. They just have more in common and know and have friends at the same private schools.


Yup. When I was at an Ivy, I spent winter break working at my job back home to help pay my tuition, other kids went to fancy beach vacations with their families and saw friends there.


Thankfully it has changed. Ivies are 55% financial aid kids now, not 25% as they were in 1990. It is a much different mix, and it is better. I hid being low income. Now we are full pay 600k HHI: DD has tons of friends who are low income as well as uber wealthy. Our niece at a southern flagship has much more SES (and racial) stratification than the ivy has.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 22:40     Subject: SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:Ivy - mixed groups


SAME with my kid's ivy experience
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 22:12     Subject: SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do the rich kids mingle with the financial aid kids on your child's campus, or is it stratified like the real world?


It's not intentionally stratified. But uber rich kids can bond over expensive activities, going to NYC for the weekend and staying 5 star hotels, traveling on private plane to hamptons, travel to expensive places over Christmas and summer breaks, eating at expensive restaurants regularly and buying designer clothes. Expensive ski kits. They just have more in common and know and have friends at the same private schools.


Yup. When I was at an Ivy, I spent winter break working at my job back home to help pay my tuition, other kids went to fancy beach vacations with their families and saw friends there.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 22:09     Subject: SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:Do the rich kids mingle with the financial aid kids on your child's campus, or is it stratified like the real world?


It's not intentionally stratified. But uber rich kids can bond over expensive activities, going to NYC for the weekend and staying 5 star hotels, traveling on private plane to hamptons, travel to expensive places over Christmas and summer breaks, eating at expensive restaurants regularly and buying designer clothes. Expensive ski kits. They just have more in common and know and have friends at the same private schools.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 22:08     Subject: SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Very stratified at my kid's Ivy as well. Kids really don't mix by social class.


That’s too bad. When I was an Ivy undergrad, we had randomly assigned first year roommates so we had all sorts of pairings-rich boarding school kid with first gen immigrant kid. Southern kid whose family had been in their state for a dozen generations with an international student.

I guess nowadays singles are much more common and kids meet online well before college and decide who they want to room with and I assume they mostly pick roommates with similar backgrounds.


It was the same at my Ivy a gazillion years ago. Some kids were leaving for spring break in private planes and getting cool internships at the art museums in the summer.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 22:05     Subject: SES cliques in college
Stratified. Festivals, ski trips, and spring break aren’t cheap.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 20:58     Subject: Re:SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have one at a $$ private and one at a state flagship. The SES groups are largely stratified at both schools with multiple tiers just like IRL. The exceptions: athletes and the super charismatic. At the flagship the SES tiers also tend to have groups of different racial/cultural backgrounds who stick together.


I'm sorry but how can you possibly know this?


They watch teen movies.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 20:15     Subject: Re:SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have one at a $$ private and one at a state flagship. The SES groups are largely stratified at both schools with multiple tiers just like IRL. The exceptions: athletes and the super charismatic. At the flagship the SES tiers also tend to have groups of different racial/cultural backgrounds who stick together.


I'm sorry but how can you possibly know this?


I'm not this poster but my kid just graduated from a top private and it was true there. Social classes didn't really mix there except for a few kids who were super good looking, charming, charismatic, very high EQ. Not making this up.


sorry but it's bizarre that you know that. or think you do
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 20:14     Subject: Re:SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have one at a $$ private and one at a state flagship. The SES groups are largely stratified at both schools with multiple tiers just like IRL. The exceptions: athletes and the super charismatic. At the flagship the SES tiers also tend to have groups of different racial/cultural backgrounds who stick together.


I'm sorry but how can you possibly know this?


I'm not this poster but my kid just graduated from a top private and it was true there. Social classes didn't really mix there except for a few kids who were super good looking, charming, charismatic, very high EQ. Not making this up.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2025 20:01     Subject: Re:SES cliques in college
Anonymous wrote:I have one at a $$ private and one at a state flagship. The SES groups are largely stratified at both schools with multiple tiers just like IRL. The exceptions: athletes and the super charismatic. At the flagship the SES tiers also tend to have groups of different racial/cultural backgrounds who stick together.


I'm sorry but how can you possibly know this?