Anonymous wrote:The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do.

This is kind bc it has nothing to do with the other kid.

It’s not you, it’s me! Usually a lie but true here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do.

Interesting. I felt it was easiest for me when my kid had a friend over.

Do you only have 1 kid? It’s not the case if there is more than 1. The one(s) without a friend get jealous and feel left out as the other kids taunt or exclude. Normally my kids play nicely together on their own. Adding someone else doesn’t make it easier.

This is OP. I never posted about needing downtime. real reason is that the other kid just isn’t who I want my kid around. We can’t say we are busy because we might run into the kid at the playground on the same day we turned down the play date.

This is really really strange to me. You never want your child to have a playdate because you need downtime? There’s no set schedule for playdates. You can do them one a year or once a week. You can do them at a park or meet up at a farmers market or a pool or accept invitations to other people’s houses. What does your kid want? My kids are way more social than I am so I try to do playdates one a schedule that isn’t overwhelming to me. It doesn’t have to be so black and white.

As other PPs have said, the kind thing to do is to make sure the other parent understands that you don’t do ANY playdates for the moment. It really is you and not them or their child. Perhaps they would be happy to host with no expectation of you reciprocating? Ir get together at a local park.

Anonymous wrote:The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do.

What about what your kids want?

Agree with others there are low-stress ways to do it - sometimes it's less work than having your kid solo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do.

Again just be honest. we’re just trying to settle into the back to school routine and not ready to work in playdates yet. Let me reach out to you when we are though.

That's not honest. She said she never wanted it.

Anonymous wrote:The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do.

Again just be honest. we’re just trying to settle into the back to school routine and not ready to work in playdates yet. Let me reach out to you when we are though.

If you are married, get your husband to take them to playdates on the weekend. Win-win-win with the house to yourself.

I get it OP-because I really really hate hosting other kids. This is mainly because I have found other kids to be rude and entitled and it just stresses me out. Luckily now that my kids are getting older it’s not really a thing anymore (more likely they want to go to the movies, ride bikes in the neighborhood etc…).

For what it’s worth I only have boys and I couldn’t believe how the other kids would come and demand snacks, go through the refrigerator and one kid even said “ This chocolate milk is not cold enough the way I like it”. Of course I provided snacks when I hosted but the entitlement is what killed me. Also there was one kid who consistently broke some more expensive toys.

I need downtime too friend!

Anonymous wrote:The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do.

Interesting. I felt it was easiest for me when my kid had a friend over.

Anonymous wrote:The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do.

Are you saying you don't want your kid to have playdates with any other kids? Like, you're an introvert, and just don't like playdates? Because if I was the parent you were rebuffing, I would appreciate knowing it's not me or my kid that's the issue.

We had friends that frequently gave this reason for not wanting to get together (or more often, for cancelling on us). It worked- we eventually quit inviting them to do anything unless it was a group activity/outing that already had other people attending as well.

Anonymous wrote:The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do.

What does this have to do with your child's playdate? If you don't want to host, you can say "that would be great, but would you mind hosting, I could use some downtime this week". I would be fine with that.