Anonymous
Post 08/17/2025 00:55     Subject: How would you handle this conflict?
Anonymous wrote:I was asked to present to 200 plus people next week which will be awesome exposure for me. I prepared the presentation, I feel ready. Then we took my teenager in for appts this week and had a test yesterday and learned they may have a heart defect. They want further tests with specialists asap and soonest appt is of course during this presentation time. I am stressed. I want to be there for my child as they are scared, I wasn’t there yesterday when they found this and the next appt will be important as they will confirm if defect and next steps. Now what? Be honest with my managers about this and how I want to be in both places? I feel like this isn’t a good look but realistically the appt may be 3-4 hours so impossible to be on camera presenting while there.


Parent to child takes precedence over job. I promise you won’t even think about this presentation 2 years from now. Good luck and good vibes to your teen.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2025 00:47     Subject: How would you handle this conflict?
I'd have the other parent or a close grandparent or other family member take the kid while I do the presentation. Or I'd ask for a different appointment another day.

But I'd do the presentation.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2025 00:46     Subject: How would you handle this conflict?
We got results on the same day as the CT scan. We had to wait a couple hours for the results and were then seen by the specialist. OP said this appointments to confirm the suspected diagnosis and to discuss next steps. And they wanted this appointment to happen with urgency. I am surprised by the number of posters saying that should all be on one parent and the other doesn’t need to be there. Getting confirmation of a heart diagnosis and needing to discuss options and next steps is something I think both parents should be involved with.

OP, you said this was the first available appointment. Is there another available appointment soon after, for example the next day?
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2025 00:27     Subject: Re:How would you handle this conflict?
Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a child with a serious health condition here is my take. Health issues something where you need to divide and conquer as a family. And you need to recognize when you actually need a favor or grace from your employer.

Here you are looking at an appointment for a test. You aren’t getting a diagnosis. You won’t get any information. They probably won’t talk to you at all. Depending on the test you won’t even be in the room. You don’t need to be there. Don’t waste your favors when it doesn’t count.

And if you carry the health insurance, don’t put your job at risk.

Sorry you’re going through this. I hope the results are as good as can be expected.


Finally. The voice of reason.

If there’s actually something wrong you’ll need a lot of grace from your employer. Don’t waste that goodwill prematurely.

Anonymous
Post 08/17/2025 00:06     Subject: Re:How would you handle this conflict?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For a test, I would try not to cancel your presentation. As others have said, there may well be more appointments, procedures, and more serious discussions with doctors. This first appointment is something that a spouse can handle. These kind of illnesses are marathons not sprints and this is just a first step.


Yeah, but this advice is coming from people that have gone through long processes. This is brand new for everyone in the family, most notably the patient who needs his parents!


Agree. This is a moment his life could change - she should be there. Then they make a long term plan from there.


No one gets results when the test is done. And long term planning comes when you get results. This is not when mom needs to be there. Mom needs to be at the follow up appointment.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 23:56     Subject: Re:How would you handle this conflict?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For a test, I would try not to cancel your presentation. As others have said, there may well be more appointments, procedures, and more serious discussions with doctors. This first appointment is something that a spouse can handle. These kind of illnesses are marathons not sprints and this is just a first step.


Yeah, but this advice is coming from people that have gone through long processes. This is brand new for everyone in the family, most notably the patient who needs his parents!


PP whose kid had medical issues. It’s a test. Kid probably doesn’t need both parents there. If they do, it’s likely because parents are sharing their anxiety and they need to learn to control themselves. As parents we worry about the worst but for our kids, kids, it’s just a test unless we make it more than that.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 23:49     Subject: Re:How would you handle this conflict?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For a test, I would try not to cancel your presentation. As others have said, there may well be more appointments, procedures, and more serious discussions with doctors. This first appointment is something that a spouse can handle. These kind of illnesses are marathons not sprints and this is just a first step.


Yeah, but this advice is coming from people that have gone through long processes. This is brand new for everyone in the family, most notably the patient who needs his parents!


Agree. This is a moment his life could change - she should be there. Then they make a long term plan from there.


This is not the life changing event. The appointment where the results are given is the potentially life changing event.

Certainly there are some kids that are
So dependent on one person that it
Might be key that their person is present for a test. But really the kid is likely to be fine with the other parent, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle for the rest.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 21:21     Subject: How would you handle this conflict?
Life has changed already. It's going to be confirmed. Process that. Keep your job. DH can go.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 21:10     Subject: Re:How would you handle this conflict?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For a test, I would try not to cancel your presentation. As others have said, there may well be more appointments, procedures, and more serious discussions with doctors. This first appointment is something that a spouse can handle. These kind of illnesses are marathons not sprints and this is just a first step.


Yeah, but this advice is coming from people that have gone through long processes. This is brand new for everyone in the family, most notably the patient who needs his parents!


Agree. This is a moment his life could change - she should be there. Then they make a long term plan from there.


He needs a parent there, not necessarily the OP. This is not the moment his life will change. That would come with a diagnosis, which will not be delivered on the same day as the test.


Ideally he needs both parents. Per OP they are receiving a test to confirm the condition. So yes his life could change.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 20:54     Subject: How would you handle this conflict?
I don’t understand why you can't choose a different date?
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 20:19     Subject: How would you handle this conflict?
I would move the appointment. Health insurance and money are nice things to have when someone is ill.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 19:38     Subject: How would you handle this conflict?
What's the potential defect? there are a lot of heart defects that are pretty benign. Everyone and their uncle has POTS. Same with a murmur. If you're talking about a legit concern, i would probably go to the appt. But for a lot of the other stuff, I'd like my DH handle.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 19:22     Subject: Re:How would you handle this conflict?
Op here. Dh was there while I worked for teen EkG and echo test and they are pretty sure of the diagnosis per Dh conversation with cardiologist so now it’s getting CAT scan at children’s hospital next week for confirmation.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 17:56     Subject: Re:How would you handle this conflict?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For a test, I would try not to cancel your presentation. As others have said, there may well be more appointments, procedures, and more serious discussions with doctors. This first appointment is something that a spouse can handle. These kind of illnesses are marathons not sprints and this is just a first step.


Yeah, but this advice is coming from people that have gone through long processes. This is brand new for everyone in the family, most notably the patient who needs his parents!


Agree. This is a moment his life could change - she should be there. Then they make a long term plan from there.


He needs a parent there, not necessarily the OP. This is not the moment his life will change. That would come with a diagnosis, which will not be delivered on the same day as the test.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2025 17:54     Subject: Re:How would you handle this conflict?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For a test, I would try not to cancel your presentation. As others have said, there may well be more appointments, procedures, and more serious discussions with doctors. This first appointment is something that a spouse can handle. These kind of illnesses are marathons not sprints and this is just a first step.


Yeah, but this advice is coming from people that have gone through long processes. This is brand new for everyone in the family, most notably the patient who needs his parents!


Agree. This is a moment his life could change - she should be there. Then they make a long term plan from there.