Anonymous wrote:What being married financial does is allow one person to do things financially that are substantially more difficult to do alone. For example, one person can start a business knowing that the other brings in enough to cover their bare expenses. It allows one person to go to school and make no money without piling on insane debt. It allows one partner to focus on making money while the other focuses on the children/ house/ all of the other things in life.

it also allows you to live in a smaller place until you decide to have kids. You can do a 1 bedroom to really save money or a 2 bedroom which is almost always cheaper than two 1 bedrooms would be.

Yes, you always have more choices when you have a partner to assist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, no. Being married typically leads to kids which make you poorer for most of your life. But divorce is a quick way to becoming poor.

Truth.


My husband only dragged me down.

The best way to wealth is through a generous and successful parent or grandparent. Husbands aren’t worth the risk.

Freshly divorced here. I am now in a 1 bedroom apartment having my kids 50% of the time in a not so nice neighborhood. Worst she cheated and now we are splitting everything in 1/2 even though I was the higher earner for most of the marriage and we both worked.

Even if she was SAHP and never worked, you would still be splitting it 50/50 because that's what happens in a marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Obviously it's not the only way to wealth, but people striving to achieve wealth typically have a "trailing spouse" who takes care of groceries, cooking, cleaning, repairs, appointments, gifts, vacation planning, etc. Even if it's outsourced, the trailing spouse is managing it. That's incredibly helpful in letting the other spouse focus on work.
In theory you could hire someone to do all this, but in practice people don't - especially if they are striving but not yet actually wealthy.

+1000

Spouse has been a CEO for 18 years. At all 3 companies and out of 35+ "execs", only 3 of the women had kids (the others were DINKS and planned to stay that way) and of the 3 with kids, 2 of them had SAHDs until the kids were in school and even then, the SAHD is the primary go to for "kid is sick, doctors appt, PT conferences". And of all the Male execs, only 1 had a spouse who worked---the rest stayed home with the kids or worked very PT (and as expected those working PT had to manage Childcare issues/sick kids/etc for their PT work, spouse did not do that).

Sure you can outsource things, but yes, the fact is for most who rise to Exec level/highest levels at work, they do so most often without having the stressors of being responsible for any issues outside of work (unless it's seriously major issue). Much easier to excel at work if you don't have to ever leave at 5:30pm to pickup kids before daycare closes. Never have to worry about "I cannot travel to that meeting next week, as my spouse is traveling and it's my week to be on kid duty", etc. All the little things that make it easier to advance at work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, no. Being married typically leads to kids which make you poorer for most of your life. But divorce is a quick way to becoming poor.

Truth.


My husband only dragged me down.

The best way to wealth is through a generous and successful parent or grandparent. Husbands aren’t worth the risk.

Come on. Don't count on someone else money. Earn your way to wealth.

No one mentioned this but having a roommate will replicate most of the benefits of marriage. You will be splitting housing costs which are a huge expense for most people and also splitting utility costs. Although your housing cost will be higher paying for an extra bedroom it won't be 2x more. You can also split the housework 50/50 + maintaining your personal living space.

Not having kids will also significantly boost your wealth.

Not the "only" obviously.

But take two good but not amazing salaries and put them together - obviously you can afford more. Better house etc. So marriage is a path to UMC for many, and also a safety net if one person faces job losses etc the other salary, health insurance and all of that is there.

It's not a guarantee but there are obvious upsides.

Anonymous wrote:What being married financial does is allow one person to do things financially that are substantially more difficult to do alone. For example, one person can start a business knowing that the other brings in enough to cover their bare expenses. It allows one person to go to school and make no money without piling on insane debt. It allows one partner to focus on making money while the other focuses on the children/ house/ all of the other things in life.

Most young entrepreneurs are single (at least all the tech kids you read about). They know they need to work 20 hours a day 7 days a week in order to be successful and don’t want to have to worry about a spouse. They also know how to live dirt cheap and are fine with it at 21. Also, it’s easier to risk what you have when you really don’t have anything.

Anonymous wrote:I earn 400k and wife stays home. Her earning potential is low so it doesn't make sense.

This is the way.

Anonymous wrote:Is marriage the *only* way to wealth?

I have no desire to get married, but I noticed that most people who are wealthy are married. I make $150k and I am 35. It seems to me that most men with my salary who are on their way to good wealth are married to someone who makes as much as them or more.

Well only if you marry well! And of course divorce can throw a wrench in those plans. It sounds like you did not come from generational wealth and at your age, you are not going to really rocket much past where your salary is set. So if you really do want to be part of the truly wealthy, you need to start looking for a wealthy husband. But again, at 35 it's going to be very, very difficult.

Anonymous wrote:Is marriage the *only* way to wealth?

I have no desire to get married, but I noticed that most people who are wealthy are married. I make $150k and I am 35. It seems to me that most men with my salary who are on their way to good wealth are married to someone who makes as much as them or more.

Not having children helps in the accumulation of wealth. I would lower your living expenses as much as possible, and then invest the rest. One way to do this is to buy a house and rent out rooms. Then, your renters pay for the house. This is how I have seen single friends accumulate faster. If you don’t want that risk, you can be a renter in a house and lower your rent substantially, thus adding more ability to save and invest.

It seems everyone i know who started with humble beginnings went to college, got married, and both spouses make like $100-150k, so combined $300k per year. Thats probably the easiest path to UMC. Then there are the executives and business owners who make $400k+ by themselves, but that would require a lot more luck and talent to achieve. But by having those combined incomes and a single household, it means a lot of that income is discretionary and can fund a much better lifestyle than just living single with $150k.

I earn 400k and wife stays home. Her earning potential is low so it doesn't make sense.

Anonymous wrote:Is marriage the *only* way to wealth?

I have no desire to get married, but I noticed that most people who are wealthy are married. I make $150k and I am 35. It seems to me that most men with my salary who are on their way to good wealth are married to someone who makes as much as them or more.

If you believe this, you should go read the other thread about the $80K SUVs. SAHMs and women with much higher-earning men are still very much a thing. It's not just equal partners and women outearning heir husbands.

What being married financial does is allow one person to do things financially that are substantially more difficult to do alone. For example, one person can start a business knowing that the other brings in enough to cover their bare expenses. It allows one person to go to school and make no money without piling on insane debt. It allows one partner to focus on making money while the other focuses on the children/ house/ all of the other things in life.

Rich single here - inheritance (plus big job).

Not so rich after kid, but good enough.