Sounds like a baby. Divorce him and find a real man.

Barring something very serious I would not and I would not want him to for me. We use our sick time on ourselves and our kids. Frankly, if I’m sick I’m totally fine resting alone in bed and would appreciate the alone time.

This seems like an unrealistic expectation for a busy family with kids.

Basic lesson for both genders. No matter if its small or big, take time off, get a hired or volunteer helper to help with kids and chores.

Anonymous wrote:Dh very upset and passive aggressive that I didn’t. Has been giving me the silent treatment for 2 days.

Both of us do and my perception is that most couples do. What's the point of having a partner if they can't be there in your moment of need?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How serious was the illness/surgery? If he is physically unable to care for himself or if there are responsibilities with the children that need performing that he would otherwise handle, I would 100% take time off.

Oral surgery!! Painful but certainly not life threatening. I am doing everything for kids while he rests

Is he… not talking to you because his mouth hurts, ffs?

I’ve had to drive DH to minor dental surgery appointments because he needs some quick anesthesia for it. Yes he’s a bit of a baby but it’s fine. He’s always really chatty afterwards so I know he loves me.

My DH is having surgery this week, I took off the day before and the next 10 days. He will probably only need my help for 3 or 4 days. But I would rather not have to scramble in case there is a complication. Worst case scenario we get to hang out together for 5 or 6 days.

Yes. We both do.
We also communicate on if we think we should.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh very upset and passive aggressive that I didn’t. Has been giving me the silent treatment for 2 days.

Maybe if you were a SAHW he wouldn't be made at you.

What a sad and lame person you are. I’m not a SAHW but it’s unfortunate you’re such an insecure loser

Anonymous wrote:Dh very upset and passive aggressive that I didn’t. Has been giving me the silent treatment for 2 days.

Maybe if you were a SAHW he wouldn't be made at you.

Anonymous wrote:You’re going to end up divorced, OP. The level of contempt you appear to have for each other is unsustainable.

This. What happened to in sickness and in health? Why the contempt for someone you claim to love?

I would take time off if he had surgery. If he was sick and needed help I’d try to WFH. He would do (and has done) the same for me.

If you're doing everything with the kids and letting him do nothing but rest, then that qualifies as taking care of him. If he wants something like a drink, he can get it himself or ask you to get it. He should not expect you to bring him unasked-for meals on a tray and spoon- feed him while wiping him with a cool cloth. I suspect this is what he wants though.

Anonymous wrote:You’re going to end up divorced, OP. The level of contempt you appear to have for each other is unsustainable.

Eh. As always, the DCUM divorce comment. And you can save the explanation and defense blah blah.

Yes DH needs help when he has surgery, but that would mean I just pick up his 50% of the kid duties and I am the one cleaning and cooking while he heals. I have never needed to "take care" of him. DH just slept and read while recovering from surgery.

If it's some a hospital surgery, I would take off and be there the entire time he's in surgery. My work would likely let me telework when I'm available (in the waiting room for hours). I can't imagine a hospital discharging someone who needs others to care for them though. When dh or others have been discharged, they're able to walk, eat, use the restroom on their own.

Your DH is a manchild.

Sick? No. A heart surgery? Yes. Oral surgery - I'd get him there and back home but then get back to work. This is an adult, not a child.