Anonymous
08/10/2025 10:27
Subject: Is there anything I can do about this now?
Listen and validate but it’s not about the objects. So she’s right when she says “it’s not the same” and validate that. It’s okay to grieve the stages of your life when they pass.
When I got engaged, I was really happy. But also very sad about the end of my single adult life and living alone in my girl apartment that I adored.
Same with college graduation. Happy, but also sad.
I think it’s perfectly okay to grieve. She’s misdirecting it onto the toys, so try to help her articulate the real loss, which is childhood.
Maybe it would help to do some volunteering at a family shelter.
When I got engaged, I was really happy. But also very sad about the end of my single adult life and living alone in my girl apartment that I adored.
Same with college graduation. Happy, but also sad.
I think it’s perfectly okay to grieve. She’s misdirecting it onto the toys, so try to help her articulate the real loss, which is childhood.
Maybe it would help to do some volunteering at a family shelter.
Anonymous
08/10/2025 10:24
Subject: Is there anything I can do about this now?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DD13 recently confessed that she’s really sad that I made her get rid of most of her favorite childhood toys. At the time she played with toys, I was struggling financially and the only way I could afford to fulfill wishlists was to sell old toys on FB groups. So we’d have purge sessions and then we’d buy new stuff with the money. We also had a space issue, but I could have probably figured out something had I tried a little harder, so I don’t love that excuse. My goals were short sighted and I feel really bad about it.
She mentions the things she misses the most, and some of them I have found used online and offered to replace, but she says it’s not the same. What can I do? I’m so guilt stricken!
Going by the bolded part, no wonder you struggle financially. That's just crazy.
Keep things, don't sell them and keep using them or repurpose or regift etc. But paying full markup, then selling at a huge discount online, then buying new again with a huge markup, that's just insane.
And there is always space for most things. Learn to use space more efficiently.
You're being insulting to the OP. Common advice for people who have too much or suffer from affluenza is to get rid of stuff even if you occasionally have to replace/rebuy something. Because visual excess and clutter is mentally distracting to some people. And it's work to keep things organized and clean. You sound like someone who didn't have to put a toy corner in the main room of your house because there was no other room in a small house where it could go.
Anyway, OP hasn't rebought anything yet, so your chiding is doubly rude.
Anonymous
08/09/2025 17:53
Subject: Is there anything I can do about this now?
Anonymous wrote:My DD13 recently confessed that she’s really sad that I made her get rid of most of her favorite childhood toys. At the time she played with toys, I was struggling financially and the only way I could afford to fulfill wishlists was to sell old toys on FB groups. So we’d have purge sessions and then we’d buy new stuff with the money. We also had a space issue, but I could have probably figured out something had I tried a little harder, so I don’t love that excuse. My goals were short sighted and I feel really bad about it.
She mentions the things she misses the most, and some of them I have found used online and offered to replace, but she says it’s not the same. What can I do? I’m so guilt stricken!
Going by the bolded part, no wonder you struggle financially. That's just crazy.
Keep things, don't sell them and keep using them or repurpose or regift etc. But paying full markup, then selling at a huge discount online, then buying new again with a huge markup, that's just insane.
And there is always space for most things. Learn to use space more efficiently.