Anonymous
08/07/2025 15:14
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?
This is the weird part. It is very strange she would stay with 16 year olds for their social activity.
I had thought she brings all 5 of her kids to these outings, and is essentially the chaperone? Maybe OP could clarify.
She brings her older two. Everyone else drops off and she stays for some reason. These kids are trustworthy and old enough to sit in a movie theater for two hours+ without "mom."
She sounds like a helicopter mom.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 15:13
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
I called my best friend’s mom Mama Smith. I was always at their house and she treated me like her child.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 15:10
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t worry about it. She sounds like a nice lady and the kids like her.
To be overly concerned sounds a bit defensive. Like you think you’re not a good enough mom in comparison.
Nope. I'm not concerned about my kids at all. I asked for perspectives because something about her behavior doesn't sit well with me.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 15:08
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?
This is the weird part. It is very strange she would stay with 16 year olds for their social activity.
I had thought she brings all 5 of her kids to these outings, and is essentially the chaperone? Maybe OP could clarify.
She brings her older two. Everyone else drops off and she stays for some reason. These kids are trustworthy and old enough to sit in a movie theater for two hours+ without "mom."
Anonymous
08/07/2025 14:53
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
I wouldn’t worry about it. She sounds like a nice lady and the kids like her.
To be overly concerned sounds a bit defensive. Like you think you’re not a good enough mom in comparison.
To be overly concerned sounds a bit defensive. Like you think you’re not a good enough mom in comparison.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 14:50
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?
This is the weird part. It is very strange she would stay with 16 year olds for their social activity.
I had thought she brings all 5 of her kids to these outings, and is essentially the chaperone? Maybe OP could clarify.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 14:48
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:My DD refers to her friends' parents by their first names.
Dd: "Brad and Katie just got a new car and Larla will get to drive it to school"
Me: "You mean Mr. and Mrs. Miller just got a new car "
Dd: "yea"
It's just what teens do. It's a trend. It's a phase. It's the shock value. It's their stretch for autonomy. A mix of sarcasm, humor, endearment, .
My friend group never ever called parents Mr and Mrs. Seems old fashioned. I definitely don’t want DS’ friends calling me Mrs anything.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 14:46
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?
This is the weird part. It is very strange she would stay with 16 year olds for their social activity.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 14:38
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?
Not the biggest deal, but slightly weird that she insists others drop off but she always stays, unless there are special needs. But that and getting people to call her mom suggests she's really making this her personality. I wouldn't say it's necessarily creepy but more annoying. I wonder if as the kids get older she'll try to be cool mom who lets the kids drink, etc.
You hit the nail on the head of what I was thinking, pp. There are no special needs kids in this group. The thing which strikes me is that it seems like she is trying to establish herself as the group mom when every one of these kids has involved parents. Another pp who compared it to calling someone else's spouse "honey" also struck on the feeling I get from this mom.
Pp. I would keep an eye on it but it's one of those things that if you make too much of it, you're the one who will seem crazy because this woman seems so lovely and involved.
I actually wonder how she would react if you started insisting she drop off or insisting you stay instead of drop off (i think its rude of her to do this with teens if everyone else is dropping off).
Anonymous
08/07/2025 13:08
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?
Not the biggest deal, but slightly weird that she insists others drop off but she always stays, unless there are special needs. But that and getting people to call her mom suggests she's really making this her personality. I wouldn't say it's necessarily creepy but more annoying. I wonder if as the kids get older she'll try to be cool mom who lets the kids drink, etc.
You hit the nail on the head of what I was thinking, pp. There are no special needs kids in this group. The thing which strikes me is that it seems like she is trying to establish herself as the group mom when every one of these kids has involved parents. Another pp who compared it to calling someone else's spouse "honey" also struck on the feeling I get from this mom.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 13:00
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:There is a mom, with 5 kids 10 to 16, who often organizes group activities for her older kids and several teens in their large friend group. My teens have participated in some of these activities and I have helped with transportation for their friends. This mom typically stays, while I and other parents drop off (at her insistance.) They go to movies, out to eat, the mall, etc. Anyway, I overheard one of the friends refer to her "mom" and then they were huddled together talking. I asked my dcs about this and quite a few of these kids call her "mom." My kids do not do that. Is this weird that she is acting as "mom" to these kids, who all have actual involved mothers? What does dcum think of this?
Not the biggest deal, but slightly weird that she insists others drop off but she always stays, unless there are special needs. But that and getting people to call her mom suggests she's really making this her personality. I wouldn't say it's necessarily creepy but more annoying. I wonder if as the kids get older she'll try to be cool mom who lets the kids drink, etc.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 12:51
Subject: Re:Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:mom is not a nickname
mom is the name for the woman who is raising you as her child
I think it's creepy OP.
It’s creepy if this woman asked or encourages them to call her mom. It’s not creepy if the kids came up with it themselves as a term of endearment or inside joke.
My dd has always had the instinct to look out for other kids and be very protective of her friends. When they were in middle school, her friend group called her mom. It was part endearment and part teasing.
These examples aren't the same. In you dcs case, it is endearing. In the case of a woman with multiple kids encouraging other kids to call her mom, it's creepy.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 12:45
Subject: Re:Is this weird/ perspective needed
Anonymous wrote:mom is not a nickname
mom is the name for the woman who is raising you as her child
I think it's creepy OP.
It’s creepy if this woman asked or encourages them to call her mom. It’s not creepy if the kids came up with it themselves as a term of endearment or inside joke.
My dd has always had the instinct to look out for other kids and be very protective of her friends. When they were in middle school, her friend group called her mom. It was part endearment and part teasing.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 12:31
Subject: Re:Is this weird/ perspective needed
mom is not a nickname
mom is the name for the woman who is raising you as her child
I think it's creepy OP.
mom is the name for the woman who is raising you as her child
I think it's creepy OP.
Anonymous
08/07/2025 12:27
Subject: Is this weird/ perspective needed
Teens are masterful creators of nicknames. Mom is probably a less creative version of some of the clever ones they come up with.