There is no one right answer. Depends on finances and how crappy the marriage. There are divorces where you get primary custody and you have money and they don’t get alimony and you meet someone new and are super happy. Then there are divorces where you have no money and don’t see your kids often and they meet someone new who then parents your kids. There are divorces where the person is abusive so even tho you are poor you are better off. No one right answer

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chime in with your thoughts and experience.

Divorced and coparenting with a high income narcissist and abuser is actually worse than being married to the same one.

Yes. I sometimes wished we didn't divorce (He had an AP and I didn't fight for the marriage) because of the mental and financial toll it has taken on me and my DC.

Crappy Marriage

Honestly, by the time you have to make this decision, you have already lost.

But on the other hand, all you can do is move forward with the best option available to you.

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a crap marriage, but I think a new crappy marriage would make everything even worse.

Divorce does not mean remarriage. I don’t have plans to remarry.

Anonymous wrote:
Consider your children first.

Children don’t need to endure a crappy marriage. It’s not good for them either.

Anonymous wrote:Chime in with your thoughts and experience.

Crappy marriage. I’m divorced.

It’s lose-lose.

My kids are happier not enduring the stress and conflict that was my marriage. They are witnessing a happier mom. And I have a better relationship with them.

But I am poorer, I miss my kids when they aren’t around.

This is the easiest post to answer ➡️: Crappy marriage.

Duh.
Lol!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chime in with your thoughts and experience.

Divorced and coparenting with a high income narcissist and abuser is actually worse than being married to the same one.

Wow that is similar to my situation. It’s hard to say. If he had been normal, divorce would’ve been far far better. But he is vindictive and the legal abuse has made it difficult.

I think it depends on if the parents are mutuall fighting and antagonistic, or if it’s one parent that is neglectful/angry/checked out/mean/whatever and the other parent is running interference. In that case I think it’s better to wait until the kids are old enough to get custody preference so they can be protected and/or protect themselves if it ends up 50/50.

I'm in a crap marriage, but I think a new crappy marriage would make everything even worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an adult who was once a child of parents with a bad marriage, I always wished they would just get divorced. It's really hard on children to be in this environment, OP.

Same situation. My brother and I begged our dad to divorce, separately and together. Our household was such a miserable place to grow up.

I though I wrote this, but I have a sister. I begged my parents to divorce. I begged my mom not to come home. I have such childhood trauma from the two fighting physically. I can start crying in half a second when I see children witness DV.
I hate my parents for staying together til we were 15 and 19. I don't care if they die and when they die. They can die already.
Nobody has any idea I feel this way as they always saw my parents being there for us, or asking about us, or missing us. My sister and I move to another continent the minute we could.

c'mon, it completely depends on the situation.
Mine- divorce is 100 times worse.

Anonymous wrote:As an adult who was once a child of parents with a bad marriage, I always wished they would just get divorced. It's really hard on children to be in this environment, OP.

Same situation. My brother and I begged our dad to divorce, separately and together. Our household was such a miserable place to grow up.