Anonymous wrote:I had to reread several times but it sounds like the health condition that you need time off for is yours, no? Your anxiety?

Because but for your anxiety, your DH can start driving again after 3 days. And you said he is typically the one who drives, so I took that to mean he is typically the one taking your teen to appointments.

So other than the 3 days of your husband needing to lie down, the continued need for flexibility is just related to your anxiety? is that right?

If not, and you're saying there is a medical reason that your DH should not be doing alot of driving after 3 days, then the FMLA is because of your DH's medical condition because he would typically handle childcare and now cannot.

I took her post as he cant drive for 4-6 weeks due to only having one eye. He shouldnt be driving with one eye unless he can pass the vision exam and show sufficient peripheral field of vision. If not, I should hope hes not driving.....

PP, are you talking about a specific employer? I don't think the FMLA law has any requirements for 5 days PTO first. In fact, I believe the employer can make FMLA retroactive to include the first 5 days. The 5-day requirement I'm aware of is that the employer has to tell you you're eligible for FMLA within the first 5 days of leave, not that you have to have used 5 days and certainly not 5 days paid.

From DOL below:

Eligibility notice. The employer must provide employees with an eligibility notice the first time the employee requests leave for an FMLA-qualifying reason in the employer's designated 12-month leave year.

The eligibility notice may be either oral or in writing and must:

Be provided within five business days of the initial request for leave or when the employer acquires knowledge that an employee leave may be for an FMLA-qualifying reason,

It's a shame some of the people responding can't actually read your original post more carefully, or they feel the need to offer flip advice.

I think the answer to your question depends on how long you think you'll want the FMLA arrangement in place. If only for a short time (up to 6 weeks), make it about your husband and his recovery so you're caring for him but also covering the driving may not be doing for a while. It's not your anxiety that prevents him from driving, it's that it's not a great idea for someone to drive with one eye when they are used to 2.

If you think you will want the arrangement longer term, make it about your son's needs as they are likely to be more ongoing, even though the need is less acute than your husband's at the moment.

Either way, it sounds like you might benefit from a few *full days* off, followed by intermittent leave. The initial full days will allow you to take care of them and you while you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, and then resume your work and have intermittent time, as needed to drive, care for your son, etc.

Remember that you need to start with 5 days of PTO before FMLA kicks in and that the paperwork can take a while, but it will get sorted out and that shouldn't prevent you from starting now, if you feel you really need to.

Hang in there! Sounds like it's a lot right now but I hope the time flexibility helps you. That's what it's for!