Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am always afraid I am this person, because I struggle with silence. Especially in a situation like a training where often people will just e quiet and wait for someone else to talk, I find myself talking more than I want to just because if no one speaks, it makes me feel very antsy.

My hope is that my fear that I am that person prevents me from actually being that person, but I've found it's hard to get an accurate gauge on how much you are talking. Sometimes in meetings I'll say "I feel like I've been talking a lot" and hand discussions over to others, and they will be so reluctant to talk.

Obviously I have anxiety about this. I envy people who can just sit silently and are unbothered if that means the meeting comes to a halt or discussion is stunted.

You know this is annoying but you put your feelings above everyone else’s - have I got that right?

Nope. I actually think a lot about how other people are interpreting my talking and worry others think I talk too much, but can't tell if it's an issue or not. I especially don't know what to do with people who just don't talk even when it seems necessary to do so, like in a meeting where people have been asked to raise issues, ask questions, or make suggestions, and no one else does. Is it annoying if I then dominate the conversation? Or are people grateful someone else is doing the heavy lifting? I don't know.

This is the fundamental problem of people who under-communicate versus people who over-communicate. Yes, there are likely times when I talk "too much." But if someone else just spoke up or even said, "let's hear from someone else," that would be great. I don't want to just sit in silence staring at each other.

Anonymous wrote:Some people think aloud.

It is amazing. They literally have no thought that passes through their head that they don’t narrate.

And the repetition, my God.

Shut. Up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talk a ton and have no anxiety. I just get excited and am interested in talking to people and have trouble shutting up. I don’t feel like there’s anything pathologically wrong with me except I’m a chatterbox.

Are you a boomer, millineiel, gen x, y, z, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, ??

Or Italian or Jewish?

Anonymous wrote:I talk a ton and have no anxiety. I just get excited and am interested in talking to people and have trouble shutting up. I don’t feel like there’s anything pathologically wrong with me except I’m a chatterbox.

Are you a boomer, millineiel, gen x, y, z, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, ??

Just say "you're so talkative". Usually the talkative ones are quick to point out I am so quiet. It would be fair if more people would also call out the talkative ones.

I talk a ton and have no anxiety. I just get excited and am interested in talking to people and have trouble shutting up. I don’t feel like there’s anything pathologically wrong with me except I’m a chatterbox.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my SIL. I love her because she’s family and she’s a good person. However, she is peak millennial and never shuts up about herself or her friends, whom we do not know.

I shudder to imagine working with her.

Boomers do this too. We don’t care about uncle Ed daughter’s best friend who got into UVA on scholarship or that one guy we met on a vacation once who just died. Stop telling us about people we don’t know.

Maybe these are just bad examples but they both seem like topics of interest involving people you've met.

I know someone who never stops talking but it's always about herself. It took me years to realize she was trying to REACH OUT. Like, every single thing had to be brought back to her because she was trying to connect by saying, this is about me too so we are similar in that way. She can't just sit there and listen because that would make her an independent person all alone in the universe. She's a really amazing person -- intelligent and sensitive -- and that may be why she is so filled with angst about life.

I have a guy at work like this. I call him Louis Toley inside my head (from Ghostbusters). My other coworkers have to call and interrupt him from time to time. Sometimes I just turn away and start typing until he gets the hint. I'll hear him talking as he walks away. I'm like god you need some work to do!

Anonymous wrote:I am always afraid I am this person, because I struggle with silence. Especially in a situation like a training where often people will just e quiet and wait for someone else to talk, I find myself talking more than I want to just because if no one speaks, it makes me feel very antsy.

My hope is that my fear that I am that person prevents me from actually being that person, but I've found it's hard to get an accurate gauge on how much you are talking. Sometimes in meetings I'll say "I feel like I've been talking a lot" and hand discussions over to others, and they will be so reluctant to talk.

Obviously I have anxiety about this. I envy people who can just sit silently and are unbothered if that means the meeting comes to a halt or discussion is stunted.

You know this is annoying but you put your feelings above everyone else’s - have I got that right?

Some people think aloud.

Anonymous wrote:This is my SIL. I love her because she’s family and she’s a good person. However, she is peak millennial and never shuts up about herself or her friends, whom we do not know.

I shudder to imagine working with her.

Why the need to put a generation label? Do you know that Italians talk so much, so do Jewish women who can't stop complaining? It's not just one generation

So tell them. Many scatterbrain types with "racing minds" will babble on and on unless you make them aware of it.

Anonymous wrote:In a very long multi-day work thing, virtual. (With people in my industry, not people I know in person) This one woman NEVER SHUTS UP. Are people like this unaware of how they are? And how annoying it is? I keep ending up in virtual room with her and literally nobody else gets a word in.

Yes, many are unaware. I think it’s an anxiety thing. My child is like this. We try to offer guidance, but it’s hard.

Anonymous wrote:I am always afraid I am this person, because I struggle with silence. Especially in a situation like a training where often people will just e quiet and wait for someone else to talk, I find myself talking more than I want to just because if no one speaks, it makes me feel very antsy.

My hope is that my fear that I am that person prevents me from actually being that person, but I've found it's hard to get an accurate gauge on how much you are talking. Sometimes in meetings I'll say "I feel like I've been talking a lot" and hand discussions over to others, and they will be so reluctant to talk.

Obviously I have anxiety about this. I envy people who can just sit silently and are unbothered if that means the meeting comes to a halt or discussion is stunted.

This is me. I have zero problem with silence. I actually prefer it. But I'm an introvert.

I am always afraid I am this person, because I struggle with silence. Especially in a situation like a training where often people will just e quiet and wait for someone else to talk, I find myself talking more than I want to just because if no one speaks, it makes me feel very antsy.

My hope is that my fear that I am that person prevents me from actually being that person, but I've found it's hard to get an accurate gauge on how much you are talking. Sometimes in meetings I'll say "I feel like I've been talking a lot" and hand discussions over to others, and they will be so reluctant to talk.

Obviously I have anxiety about this. I envy people who can just sit silently and are unbothered if that means the meeting comes to a halt or discussion is stunted.