Anonymous
Post 08/11/2025 19:23     Subject: Paying for Grad School
My kids are 21 & 23 and know how to pay bills on time. They also know we’re not paying for grad school (we paid for private colleges, bought them cars, & have set $$ aside for wedding/OR house downpayment). It sounds like you need to focus on teaching her things you haven’t taught her and communicating boundaries you haven’t yet communicated.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2025 07:34     Subject: Paying for Grad School
You should have taught her better before. It’s your money so she doesn’t care if there’s a late fee. At this point, I’d let her struggle a bit but set up a budget to begin with and a calendar of when everything is due.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2025 07:27     Subject: Paying for Grad School
There’s no excuse for missing bills. Why have you not taught her how to set up automatic drafts?
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2025 05:19     Subject: Paying for Grad School
Your DD doesn’t need to learn about IRA and stock investments just yet. She needs to learn to budget with the money she has. She should have had a debit account in undergrad to manage. I insisted my kids communicate with me when their funds were getting low. Yes, this means they had to learn how to subtract! Bouncing a check/withdrawal would have irritated the heck out of me. I wouldn’t throw her in the deep end without teaching her how to manage. Setup a schedule for bill paying etc. This is a life skill that really doesn’t take that much time.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2025 22:56     Subject: Paying for Grad School
Anonymous wrote:Why on Earth would you want her to get a PhD? She'll spend her youth learning about some random subject and likely be unemployed upon graduation with decreased marriage prospects.

Strongly consider supporting her on another path.

DD(21) is young. I agree except that DD got NSF fellowship and Provost scholarships from T5 school for AI/Robotics program. DD has to turn down a full time job offer. DD's issue is that she doesn't give priority to finance. The pHD program will be intense. I will have a budget talk with her and have her setup all the reminder in her iphone and autopay... DD has so much to learn IRA/Stocks Investment/Health Care.... Wish there are classes that give overview of financial responsibility. DD doesn't even know how to file income tax.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2025 13:16     Subject: Paying for Grad School
Anonymous wrote:DD (21) is going to grad school - phD. She will be receiving stipend. I am not sure if she can live in the budget. All through undergrad, we just pay for her credit card expense and remind her when the bill is due. I have to remind her to pay rent. All her roommates doesn't remember to pay rent at the beginning of the month, too. It seems like the college kid don't care about finance not just my DD. Should I cut her off completely now and let her figure out the finance herself? I can feel the late fees will be hitting her soon. She does have a job through undergrad and she is late entering the work hours in the timesheet so she will miss her paycheck period and have to wait another 2 weeks. How do you teach your adult child to be financially responsible? Her priority is school work and not finance. DD will say "I am too busy doing .... - can you log in and pay ....." I do understand that DD is busy.. but....


Log in and pay with your money, or log in and pay from her account, essentially acting as her secretary? I wonder if there's some anxiety here, she worries about doing it wrong?

I would put some training wheels on here...youll do it but in person together or sharing your screen and showing her exactly what to do, and then have her do it and show you, then show her how to set up autopay, calender reminders, and alerts when her account is getting low, so she doesn't spend the rent money before it's due.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2025 19:01     Subject: Paying for Grad School
I hope you’ve explained the importance of building good credit. Then your job is done. Ok to help with one off things now and then.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2025 14:52     Subject: Paying for Grad School
Why on Earth would you want her to get a PhD? She'll spend her youth learning about some random subject and likely be unemployed upon graduation with decreased marriage prospects.

Strongly consider supporting her on another path.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 22:40     Subject: Paying for Grad School
Anonymous wrote:DD (21) is going to grad school - phD. She will be receiving stipend. I am not sure if she can live in the budget. All through undergrad, we just pay for her credit card expense and remind her when the bill is due. I have to remind her to pay rent. All her roommates doesn't remember to pay rent at the beginning of the month, too. It seems like the college kid don't care about finance not just my DD. Should I cut her off completely now and let her figure out the finance herself? I can feel the late fees will be hitting her soon. She does have a job through undergrad and she is late entering the work hours in the timesheet so she will miss her paycheck period and have to wait another 2 weeks. How do you teach your adult child to be financially responsible? Her priority is school work and not finance. DD will say "I am too busy doing .... - can you log in and pay ....." I do understand that DD is busy.. but....


Yes you cut her off or better said, cut YOURSELF off and stop being the adult FOR your adult child. Most people would love a personal assistant, which is what you are being, but adults need to earn the salary to pay for those assistants. What you are doing now is setting up for failure. Cut yourself off and stop being her personal assistant.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 21:34     Subject: Paying for Grad School
*and they learned just fine to put things on auto pay and not let credit card bills go up. They do forget ir take longer for non routine things from time to time but that's just ADHD.