It's because wealthy men value money and power the most. They are wealth because their own career, success, wealth was at the core of their values. They never really valued relationships or people. It's a different breed where women exist simply to meet their needs.

I'm similar to OP and dealt with this issue with my own exH when he started making really big money, and many similar men on dating apps.

Contrary to common beliefs, rich guys are not in large deficit and it's easy to meet them, particular when the woman is pretty. It's the "middle" guy who makes 250-450K and has no large obligations, and good personal qualities to work on relationship - these guys are snapped up fast

Because they have more choices and can do what they want. They will sport bang you until they find the right woman to marry or you annoy them enough.

I am dating a wealthy man for the first time in my life and we discussed this concept recently. He thinks it's because when someone has money they rarely hear the word 'no' and develop a warped sense of reality about how to treat other people.

Anonymous wrote:Money feeds the ego. I watched my ex's personality change (or perhaps he just grew into the a$$hole he always was) as he become more financially successful. I don't think all guys who make money are awful but they have to know how to appreciate the money and not just use it as a power/ego flex.

I see it as the Trumpian model: “because I have money, most rules don’t apply to me.” But clearly not everyone does this.

People who value themselves and others can recognize this as a power trip.

Anonymous wrote:OP it sounds like you just can't handle strong independent men

That’s what I think too. They aren’t all jerks. They don’t kick puppies or anything. (Maybe some of them do, but not all). They just aren’t the kind of guy you are looking for.

Why are people who care more about money than people such aholes? Mystery of the universe!

OP is discovering socialism, lol.

Because they can be lol

OP it sounds like you just can't handle strong independent men

Anonymous wrote:All the nice ones got snapped up when they were still nobodies.

Yup. And this that didn't turn into jerks are still married. Those who were somehow single until 30 something and nice with money also got married/partnered.

Anonymous wrote:I’m trapped between dating rich aholes and nice low earners. I don’t do badly myself ($250K and $3M NW), but when it comes to guys who make >$400K, the single ones are jerks. Even the nice guy I married when he was making $80K became a massive ahole when he started making $350K and at >$500K became insufferable. Left him but stuck in this income/ahole matrix.

What do you do for a living? I want to make $250k one day. That's a lot of money. I am Statistician. I only make $107k.

Anonymous wrote:The male ego is dangerous with no counterbalance. They can have and do anything. They know this. Most guys who reach that level of income/wealth get there due to some combination of charm, cleverness, and perhaps some narcissism/manipulation.

Wives of these men too. Remember Executive (now Country Club) wife who is so much better than us now that her DH was promoted.

It’s you OP. You felt compelled to share your income and net worth as if we care. It shows that you do though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They aren't all, the key is to find the ones who aren't very materialistic and who are secure with who they are. Most of the rich ahole behavior stems from insecurity and the need to show off and brag about what the have. No thanks. Maybe DH is very rare, but he's never needed to make anyone know how much money he has and if anything, tries to downplay it if it does get brought up.

This. They are out there.

They are and there is also research into high earning professions with lower rates of divorce. (If the wife did not leave and they did not leave, it's not foolproof but it is useful data). Google those professions and maybe see if you have better luck in those arenas? Offhand I think the groups include accountants and engineers for example.Not the most exciting but it seems like you have maybe had enough excitement and could exolore stability, ie. Men drawn to highly stable professions who likely share a certain way of thinking.

I think it’s because a lot of people suck up to rich guys and their wives. They end up thinking they are smarter and more interesting than they actually are when people hang on their every word.

All the nice ones got snapped up when they were still nobodies.