Anonymous
07/20/2025 12:01
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Anonymous wrote:Re: harsh wake-up calls, in my senior year, I was identified as the outstanding senior in my major (an award that came with a little cash and a nice lunch).
I asked the department advisor how that could be because I had withdrawn from an elective in the major. And another class in the prior major I had considered.
She told me that "Ws" were considered differently from "Fails". That it was good to know one's limits and that everyone has things come up in their life.
I'm still a bit surprised, particularly since I really had issues with the teaching philosophy of the class I dropped.
But my point here is that a W is less harsh than you're probably feeling it is. Assuming you can arrange for it.
I do though, want to mention something else related to your post. You mention that your kid has mental health challenges/executive functioning issues but you are concerned about this becoming known to the professors. Please keep an eye on this. I think sometimes people who have neurodivergence or mental health conditions can help others/inspire others. But they have to be able to control their own situations. Does that make sense? Also, in the vein of "mental health is just health" and openness, it may be hard to study in a place where openness is not accepted. You can help your child monitor those issues.
Thanks for all that! Good stuff for me to sit on.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:56
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Op, you sound as scattered and incompetent as your son.
Whether or not he can still withdraw and get a W is likely available on a school website somewhere. Research it before talking to prof. And do that today, because often there is a deadline well in advance of the final day of classes.
At some schools, you can withdraw and not have anything appear on your transcript. As long as you withdraw by certain date. Then there is a period where you can withdraw and have it show as a W on your transcript. Then there’s a deadline after which you were stuck with the grade. There’s probably a policy in place about this. Research it, talk to the dean or professor if you can’t find anything once you find out the answer, then figure out the process for withdrawing.
Whether or not he can still withdraw and get a W is likely available on a school website somewhere. Research it before talking to prof. And do that today, because often there is a deadline well in advance of the final day of classes.
At some schools, you can withdraw and not have anything appear on your transcript. As long as you withdraw by certain date. Then there is a period where you can withdraw and have it show as a W on your transcript. Then there’s a deadline after which you were stuck with the grade. There’s probably a policy in place about this. Research it, talk to the dean or professor if you can’t find anything once you find out the answer, then figure out the process for withdrawing.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:49
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Anonymous wrote:Help him focus on the future.
In college, he will get syllabi on Day One.
He should immediately add notifications to his phone. Not only with deadlines, but reminders on the days he needs to begin the assignment.
My kid took a pre-college workshop from this group that we thought was useful.
Sorry, I forgot the link:
https://thinkingorganized.com/
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:49
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Help him focus on the future.
In college, he will get syllabi on Day One.
He should immediately add notifications to his phone. Not only with deadlines, but reminders on the days he needs to begin the assignment.
My kid took a pre-college workshop from this group that we thought was useful.
In college, he will get syllabi on Day One.
He should immediately add notifications to his phone. Not only with deadlines, but reminders on the days he needs to begin the assignment.
My kid took a pre-college workshop from this group that we thought was useful.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:40
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Re: harsh wake-up calls, in my senior year, I was identified as the outstanding senior in my major (an award that came with a little cash and a nice lunch).
I asked the department advisor how that could be because I had withdrawn from an elective in the major. And another class in the prior major I had considered.
She told me that "Ws" were considered differently from "Fails". That it was good to know one's limits and that everyone has things come up in their life.
I'm still a bit surprised, particularly since I really had issues with the teaching philosophy of the class I dropped.
But my point here is that a W is less harsh than you're probably feeling it is. Assuming you can arrange for it.
I do though, want to mention something else related to your post. You mention that your kid has mental health challenges/executive functioning issues but you are concerned about this becoming known to the professors. Please keep an eye on this. I think sometimes people who have neurodivergence or mental health conditions can help others/inspire others. But they have to be able to control their own situations. Does that make sense? Also, in the vein of "mental health is just health" and openness, it may be hard to study in a place where openness is not accepted. You can help your child monitor those issues.
I asked the department advisor how that could be because I had withdrawn from an elective in the major. And another class in the prior major I had considered.
She told me that "Ws" were considered differently from "Fails". That it was good to know one's limits and that everyone has things come up in their life.
I'm still a bit surprised, particularly since I really had issues with the teaching philosophy of the class I dropped.
But my point here is that a W is less harsh than you're probably feeling it is. Assuming you can arrange for it.
I do though, want to mention something else related to your post. You mention that your kid has mental health challenges/executive functioning issues but you are concerned about this becoming known to the professors. Please keep an eye on this. I think sometimes people who have neurodivergence or mental health conditions can help others/inspire others. But they have to be able to control their own situations. Does that make sense? Also, in the vein of "mental health is just health" and openness, it may be hard to study in a place where openness is not accepted. You can help your child monitor those issues.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:40
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Not sure why a kid who is already in therapy feels pressure to start taking college classes early.
They should gave just enjoyed their last summer as a child.
I would not worry about it. Grades only matter for grad school. Do you see that in his cards? Even if you do, 4 years is plenty of time for him to overcome one F.
They should gave just enjoyed their last summer as a child.
I would not worry about it. Grades only matter for grad school. Do you see that in his cards? Even if you do, 4 years is plenty of time for him to overcome one F.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:38
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Anonymous wrote:10:46 PP again - to add, this is far more common than you'd imagine, and as far as his reputation and opportunities within the department, it is better for him to own his mistake and focus on preventing it in the future. Transcripts that show issues in the first semester or two followed by a correction can stand out positively - it means the student is accepting their mistakes, learning from them, and maturing, which is what we look for when considering internships, grad school placements, etc. So you (he) shouldn't push too hard on the medical letter or a withdrawal beyond one polite inquiry. I hope that helps.
It does! Thank you!
Yes, reading through these, I'm leaning toward him owning up to the mistake, apologizing, and politely inquiring about the possibility of a late withdrawal. Then whatever happens was meant to be, i guess.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:13
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Hire an attorney & sue.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:06
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Thanks for advice on late withdrawals, neither of us knew this was a possibility. Waiting for prof's response, and then I will have him ask.
To the other questions, he DID turn in the assignment, and he DID email the prof on his own straight away. I guess I portrayed him as a dumb helpless idiot, which is not the truth.
But he does struggle with some mental health stuff, which is tied up in some executive functioning.
He and I are now wondering how bad this will affect him in the future, so I came here. And, yes, his HS always gave partial credit for late stuff and he always did well enough that it wasn't a big deal. So he did need a wake up call, but we obviously would like to minimize the impact of this, since it's a pretty harsh wake up.
To the other questions, he DID turn in the assignment, and he DID email the prof on his own straight away. I guess I portrayed him as a dumb helpless idiot, which is not the truth.
But he does struggle with some mental health stuff, which is tied up in some executive functioning.
He and I are now wondering how bad this will affect him in the future, so I came here. And, yes, his HS always gave partial credit for late stuff and he always did well enough that it wasn't a big deal. So he did need a wake up call, but we obviously would like to minimize the impact of this, since it's a pretty harsh wake up.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 10:59
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
10:46 PP again - to add, this is far more common than you'd imagine, and as far as his reputation and opportunities within the department, it is better for him to own his mistake and focus on preventing it in the future. Transcripts that show issues in the first semester or two followed by a correction can stand out positively - it means the student is accepting their mistakes, learning from them, and maturing, which is what we look for when considering internships, grad school placements, etc. So you (he) shouldn't push too hard on the medical letter or a withdrawal beyond one polite inquiry. I hope that helps.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 10:46
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Professor here. Yes, he should talk to the professor immediately - accept responsibility and acknowledge that it may be what it is (out of fairness to the other students). But politely ask if he has any options, including perhaps a late withdrawal to remove the fail from the transcript. This really needs to be between him and the professor, not you.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 10:42
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
this is not yet a fail based on the math you posted and assuming he does 85 or above on that 3rd essay, does all the rest. YOU do not need to look at the math, HE needs to talk to the professor immediately. If he indeed is going to fail (which means he is not telling you the whole truth), many professors will allow a late withdrawal and it goes on transcript as WNP , withdraw not passing. Then they retake it. No job or grad school will care about one of these so early on in college. It is a learning moment that is all.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most required prerequisite classes cannot be taken pass/fail.
If his grade was so close to failing that one missed assignment brought him to an F, he doesn’t have a good grasp of intro material for his intended major, which is a significant issue even if the school does allow prerequisites to be pass/fail.
I’d suggest retaking the class or rethinking the major.
He got an 85 on the first essay. This is the second, which will now be a 0. Then there;s a 3rd. Thats 75% of the grade, There are weekly quizzes, for a total of 10% of the grade, which he's gotten b/w 75-90% on. Then participation points on an online forum, which I assume he's been doing. I'm trying to figure out the math on this, maybe he's confused about the calculation, he's never been a math person. And frankly I'm not sure how to calculate it either. I'll recheck tomorrow. I think he needs 70% in the class for a fail. This isn't his declared major, but he was planning a minor, if not double major in this class. he always does things on a whim without thinking it through, i didn't know he was taking this pass/fail. He's smart, but does these crazy things which make a mess of things and I can't reel him in.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 09:29
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Therapist here. I would not write this letter (and trust me, I have been asked). It’s just kicking the can down the road and reinforcing the need to not take accountability and focus on behavioral change. This is a perfect opportunity to navigate real world consequences. You can’t ask your therapist /parent to write you a letter every time you miss an assignment at work.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 09:24
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most required prerequisite classes cannot be taken pass/fail.
If his grade was so close to failing that one missed assignment brought him to an F, he doesn’t have a good grasp of intro material for his intended major, which is a significant issue even if the school does allow prerequisites to be pass/fail.
I’d suggest retaking the class or rethinking the major.
He got an 85 on the first essay. This is the second, which will now be a 0. Then there;s a 3rd. Thats 75% of the grade, There are weekly quizzes, for a total of 10% of the grade, which he's gotten b/w 75-90% on. Then participation points on an online forum, which I assume he's been doing. I'm trying to figure out the math on this, maybe he's confused about the calculation, he's never been a math person. And frankly I'm not sure how to calculate it either. I'll recheck tomorrow. I think he needs 70% in the class for a fail. This isn't his declared major, but he was planning a minor, if not double major in this class. he always does things on a whim without thinking it through, i didn't know he was taking this pass/fail. He's smart, but does these crazy things which make a mess of things and I can't reel him in.
Your son should start by emailing the professor and asking if he’s in danger of failing. If he hasn’t already, he can explain what happened, but that should be presented as an explanation, not an excuse.
If he *is* in danger of failing, he should consider a withdrawal for a W rather than an F. Either way, if it’s a class that’s related to a major, a minor, or potential grad study, he should retake the class.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 06:21
Subject: Better to leave a fail for a pass/fail class on transcript, or get letter from therapist about how mental health issues
You seriously think you can NOT turn in an assignment and then get a letter from a therapist because you were upset so it affected your executive functioning? Not turning in a paper would be understandable something in an emergency such as you are hospitalized or have a death in the family which wouldn't require a therapist's note. Why wouldn't you tell your child to immediately email the professor and ask if they can get partial credit for the late assignment?
It doesn't work in college that you can decide you don't want a class on your transcript. It is there forever.
And to figure out the grading. If the writing assignments are worth 75% of the grade then it might be each writing assignment is 25%.
So think of the class having 100 points. He got 85% of the first 25 points so that is 21.25
0 % of the second 25 points so that is 0
Let's say he gets another 85 on the third essay that is another 21.25 points.
And if he gets around 85% for the other 25 points for quizzes and discussion that is another 21.25 points which equals 63.75%
It doesn't work in college that you can decide you don't want a class on your transcript. It is there forever.
And to figure out the grading. If the writing assignments are worth 75% of the grade then it might be each writing assignment is 25%.
So think of the class having 100 points. He got 85% of the first 25 points so that is 21.25
0 % of the second 25 points so that is 0
Let's say he gets another 85 on the third essay that is another 21.25 points.
And if he gets around 85% for the other 25 points for quizzes and discussion that is another 21.25 points which equals 63.75%