Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 01:54     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t sleep with anyone until we were exclusive.


+1 and I'm a man. Can't enjoy being intimate with someone until we know each other well enough to have the exclusively talk.


I wouldn’t agree to being exclusive without determining our sexual compatibility


Nope.
Move along then.
You don’t get to “test drive” me.
Especially when I’m pretty sure you test drive the vehicles you own, but you still don’t keep them for more than 5-6 years.
No.
You want a shot at seeing whether we are sexually compatible?
Then you commit to getting to know me and being physically intimate with only me.
If we turn out to be sexually “incompatible” then you can break it off with me and go back to playing the field.
But I’m not playing the role of your Friday night girl while you’re rolling around in the sheets with other girls on Thursday night and Saturday night!


What prevents you from rolling in the sheets with other guys ? Don’t you enjoy your freedom and dating ? Don’t you like men and sex?
I do, so I don’t consider dating a test driving. Everyone is out there trying to find their match or/and have fun in the meantime
As long as everyone is honest about the intentions I don’t feel used
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 01:49     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t sleep with anyone until we were exclusive.


+1 and I'm a man. Can't enjoy being intimate with someone until we know each other well enough to have the exclusively talk.


I wouldn’t agree to being exclusive without determining our sexual compatibility


Nope.
Move along then.
You don’t get to “test drive” me.
Especially when I’m pretty sure you test drive the vehicles you own, but you still don’t keep them for more than 5-6 years.
No.
You want a shot at seeing whether we are sexually compatible?
Then you commit to getting to know me and being physically intimate with only me.
If we turn out to be sexually “incompatible” then you can break it off with me and go back to playing the field.
But I’m not playing the role of your Friday night girl while you’re rolling around in the sheets with other girls on Thursday night and Saturday night!
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 01:30     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:He was honest. He’s not into you. Continue your search.


Many relations started like that, when initially both were seeing different people. But I agree OP should keep dating and seeing other men, including sex
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 01:28     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
He was honest. He’s not into you. Continue your search.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 01:21     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that you would think you were exclusive with someone you’ve only seen 6x in 6 weeks. That’s not a lot for someone you’re actively pursuing. This sounds like a convenient hookup when his other convenient hookup is too busy. He’s probably confused that you are confused.


OP. I don’t necessarily expect him to stop dating (I’ve been dating a couple other guys as well) but I just feel with sleeping together, you either stop sleeping with other people or you let them know beforehand you’re sleeping with other people with no intention of stopping.

It just seems off to me.


Jesus. No. YOU HAVE TO ASK. And even then they might lie. He was only seeing you once a week. That's not frequently enough, unless maybe he's a surgery resident or something. It's a sign he's not that into you and is dating others.


No need to upset OP for no reason: the man might be really into her, but also feels strong about other partners he's seeing . Or maybe he knows these partners longer and doesn't want to give up them if OP is relatively new in his life. These other women may be still giving him some comfort and physical pleasure.

Men are not monogamous and are capable of compartmentalizing
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 01:14     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that you would think you were exclusive with someone you’ve only seen 6x in 6 weeks. That’s not a lot for someone you’re actively pursuing. This sounds like a convenient hookup when his other convenient hookup is too busy. He’s probably confused that you are confused.


OP. I don’t necessarily expect him to stop dating (I’ve been dating a couple other guys as well) but I just feel with sleeping together, you either stop sleeping with other people or you let them know beforehand you’re sleeping with other people with no intention of stopping.

It just seems off to me.


Jesus. No. YOU HAVE TO ASK. And even then they might lie. He was only seeing you once a week. That's not frequently enough, unless maybe he's a surgery resident or something. It's a sign he's not that into you and is dating others.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2025 01:03     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that you would think you were exclusive with someone you’ve only seen 6x in 6 weeks. That’s not a lot for someone you’re actively pursuing. This sounds like a convenient hookup when his other convenient hookup is too busy. He’s probably confused that you are confused.


OP. I don’t necessarily expect him to stop dating (I’ve been dating a couple other guys as well) but I just feel with sleeping together, you either stop sleeping with other people or you let them know beforehand you’re sleeping with other people with no intention of stopping.

It just seems off to me.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 23:23     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t sleep with anyone until we were exclusive.


+1 and I'm a man. Can't enjoy being intimate with someone until we know each other well enough to have the exclusively talk.


I wouldn’t agree to being exclusive without determining our sexual compatibility
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 22:51     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:Don’t sleep with someone unless you are married to them


Well, married is too Catholic but until you are committed, families are on board and its just a matter of time to put a ring on it.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 22:49     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
I find it odd that you would think you were exclusive with someone you’ve only seen 6x in 6 weeks. That’s not a lot for someone you’re actively pursuing. This sounds like a convenient hookup when his other convenient hookup is too busy. He’s probably confused that you are confused.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 22:44     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
"Last night after a date/sex, I asked if he was sleeping with anyone else. He said yes, he’s dating and sleeping with one other woman."

Er, if this bothers you, you should have asked BEFORE you slept with him.

I do not sleep with a man until we agree to be exclusive and he has shown me recent STD tests.

And I wait more than three dates.

I don't understand why some women sleep with men after three dates, don't discuss exclusivity, and then get all upset or stressed or confused when they find out it is not exclusive. Stop doing that! It clearly bothers you.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 21:39     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t sleep with anyone until we were exclusive.


+1 and I'm a man. Can't enjoy being intimate with someone until we know each other well enough to have the exclusively talk.


You are a rare exception. 70% men and women on OLD have different partners at a time. It’s statistically confirmed, there was a report published at some point


I don't care and live to my own standards. Would have no interest to date the great majority of women out there.


You are either settling too fast for any woman who would take you, or low libido. I won’t ever commit to a guy until I know they are a great match in all areas, including sex. I’m very wealthy as a woman and don’t need to tie up myself to someone right away


DP. You putting a lot of weight on “tie up myself.” This is a boyfriend not a husband.


I’m actually very serious dating and want to find a life partner. Putting seeing others on hold in favor of one person would require a lot of getting to know each other. Men are very inconsistent, promiscuous and that “bf” can disappear next day.
There is no true exclusivity until people actually move in together
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 21:29     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t sleep with anyone until we were exclusive.


+1 and I'm a man. Can't enjoy being intimate with someone until we know each other well enough to have the exclusively talk.


You are a rare exception. 70% men and women on OLD have different partners at a time. It’s statistically confirmed, there was a report published at some point


I don't care and live to my own standards. Would have no interest to date the great majority of women out there.


You are either settling too fast for any woman who would take you, or low libido. I won’t ever commit to a guy until I know they are a great match in all areas, including sex. I’m very wealthy as a woman and don’t need to tie up myself to someone right away


DP. You putting a lot of weight on “tie up myself.” This is a boyfriend not a husband.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 21:26     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t sleep with anyone until we were exclusive.


+1 and I'm a man. Can't enjoy being intimate with someone until we know each other well enough to have the exclusively talk.


You are a rare exception. 70% men and women on OLD have different partners at a time. It’s statistically confirmed, there was a report published at some point


I don't care and live to my own standards. Would have no interest to date the great majority of women out there.


You are either settling too fast for any woman who would take you, or low libido. I won’t ever commit to a guy until I know they are a great match in all areas, including sex. I’m very wealthy as a woman and don’t need to tie up myself to someone right away
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 21:23     Subject: How many dates until you commit?
Don’t sleep with someone unless you are married to them