Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 22:33     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:We have been experiencing what we have labelled the Year of Death. Basically almost everyone from my parent's generation passed last year in very rapid succession. We ended up in this place where every single holiday or holiday weekend we ended up attending a funeral -- our anniversary, my husband's birthday, new year's, thanksgiving weekend. Aunts, uncles, parents. We kind of lost our minds. (My kid had to go to two grandparent funerals in one month and she had one of those teachers at school who was like "No way you had TWO grandparents die. You just don't want to write the essay." Great.)

We have found ourselves in a situation where we are being forced to adopt that zen wisdom where you both surrender to what is happening to you and decide to just be in the moment. We have spent more time this year sitting on our front porch drinking coffee and listening to the birds than we have in years. The sadness and loss is just too big and too great to be anything we can even get our arms and minds around, so we have had no choice but to do things like make muffins and comment on how delicious the blueberries are. It's been a strange year but perhaps that is the gift.



A couple of years ago, we also experienced a "year of death", we actually combined funerals because the time in between passing was so short. And don't even get me started on Grandparents and special friends day at school, ugh! It was a brutal time. One of the things that helped me, especially in the beginning was Anderson Cooper's podcast on grief, All There Is. Hugs to you.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 22:23     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:Not too long ago, I had a cry while walking through a food court. A random woman came up to me and asked if I would like a hug. I thought about it for a second and said yes please. She gave me a great hug and reassured me that I could get through it. Her kindness has stayed with me. Wish I could pay it forward and offer you a hug, OP. I hope you can find some small things to give you peace and joy as you navigate hard times.


This happened to me too. I was in my early thirties and had switched jobs to a very stressful, overwhelming pressure cooker type of job. I was so panicked about the switch I had made and was just crying while walking down the street in DC. Honestly I don’t even think I was even aware I was crying as I was so caught up in feeling panicked and stressed. A woman approached me and asked me if I was okay and if she could give me a hug and that immediately calmed me down. She talked to me for a bit and helped me come up with some immediate ways to handle my situation and then gave me her number if I wanted to check in. I actually did a few days following that encounter and then was able to get myself back on track and deal with what I was going through. That was nearly 20 years ago and I still remember her act of kindness. OP I too would give you a hug if i could. You’re going to get through this. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 12:45     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think about this all the time: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/reel/C0CD4YSAe7V/

If it's not one thing, it's another. It really helps me when I feel like you are feeling.


That’s really helpful. I like him.


I'm very skeptical of a lot of that shit, but he's very good.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 12:44     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I read Andrew Solomon's book on depression, Noonday Demon, and he talks about how he was so depressed he once shit himself in the grocery store... the book is beautiful and thoughtful, and maybe not the thing to read in this very moment, but you should read later. My big takeaway, however, was that as down and sad as I've ever felt, I never shit myself in the grocery store over it.

It'll get better, I promise.


What? People don't "shit themselves" because of depression.


He did.

Read the book.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 12:10     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
I believe that the universe does not want me to fail. Even the difficulties have boons hidden in them that may manifest after a long time. So, every sadness is a time to be grateful for the things that are working for you, and also to find a way to make the best of that situation. Either you get out of that situation, or you find a way to accept it.

In my experience - I have become more charitable and helpful when things are going bad for me. That is the only answer to bad times. Help others.

OP, I am so sorry for your difficulties and your loss. It is ok to grieve and feel bad...but you are strong and you will find a way that leads you out of this.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 12:01     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
We have been experiencing what we have labelled the Year of Death. Basically almost everyone from my parent's generation passed last year in very rapid succession. We ended up in this place where every single holiday or holiday weekend we ended up attending a funeral -- our anniversary, my husband's birthday, new year's, thanksgiving weekend. Aunts, uncles, parents. We kind of lost our minds. (My kid had to go to two grandparent funerals in one month and she had one of those teachers at school who was like "No way you had TWO grandparents die. You just don't want to write the essay." Great.)

We have found ourselves in a situation where we are being forced to adopt that zen wisdom where you both surrender to what is happening to you and decide to just be in the moment. We have spent more time this year sitting on our front porch drinking coffee and listening to the birds than we have in years. The sadness and loss is just too big and too great to be anything we can even get our arms and minds around, so we have had no choice but to do things like make muffins and comment on how delicious the blueberries are. It's been a strange year but perhaps that is the gift.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 11:49     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Not making light of your problems, which are very real and would make many people sad, but maybe this perspective will help when you think about the universe:

Woman who thinks the universe is obsessed with her
YouTube · Elle Cordova
Nov 8, 2023
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fYa9ghJ95Kk&ved=2ahUKEwjhjKj_3MGOAxWoEFkFHQVeCs8QwqsBegQIDhAG&usg=AOvVaw0xg26QeqKxhBHBB5LavIWs
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 11:15     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:I read Andrew Solomon's book on depression, Noonday Demon, and he talks about how he was so depressed he once shit himself in the grocery store... the book is beautiful and thoughtful, and maybe not the thing to read in this very moment, but you should read later. My big takeaway, however, was that as down and sad as I've ever felt, I never shit myself in the grocery store over it.

It'll get better, I promise.


What? People don't "shit themselves" because of depression.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 11:12     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:I know that life has ups and downs but I'm feeling pretty beat down right now. On those lists of most stressful life events, I could check a few off right now. Today I cried in public over something dumb, it was just the last straw. I'm sure people thought I was unhinged but damn, I'm just struggling right now. I've seen some very dark times in my life but this time period is vying for a top spot on the list. I'm tired and overwhelmed.

Do you have a funny story? A time you embarrassed yourself in public but can laugh about it now or at least not cringe in complete horror? A hopeful story? Words of wisdom? Strategies to get through a tough time? I need a distraction.



Hormones?
Get blood work done and speak with your Dr.
Approaching a -pause?
Are you OP of other thread where world is conspiring against you?
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 10:56     Subject: Re:I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
I often thought we have too many book on how to be happy. It's BS. We need a good guide on how to be sad.

there is no such life without sadness but our only guidance is to try to be happy or distract from the sadness.

But why, just be sad, it's okay.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 10:51     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
If you think having problems is bad, you should try having none. It will drive you crazy. Read Schopenhauer’s short essay “On Suffering in the World.”
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 00:08     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:Not too long ago, I had a cry while walking through a food court. A random woman came up to me and asked if I would like a hug. I thought about it for a second and said yes please. She gave me a great hug and reassured me that I could get through it. Her kindness has stayed with me. Wish I could pay it forward and offer you a hug, OP. I hope you can find some small things to give you peace and joy as you navigate hard times.


Thank you for your kind words, I will pay it forward too. Today was better, one day at a time.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2025 00:06     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know that life has ups and downs but I'm feeling pretty beat down right now. On those lists of most stressful life events, I could check a few off right now. Today I cried in public over something dumb, it was just the last straw. I'm sure people thought I was unhinged but damn, I'm just struggling right now. I've seen some very dark times in my life but this time period is vying for a top spot on the list. I'm tired and overwhelmed.


Do you have a funny story? A time you embarrassed yourself in public but can laugh about it now or at least not cringe in complete horror? A hopeful story? Words of wisdom? Strategies to get through a tough time? I need a distraction.




I am sorry. I know a lot of people going through similar things but some people are either better covering it up or maybe have their ready coping tools. One thing that has helped me is the mindset of I am doing all I can today. I am making the best of today. I think the rumination of what about next week or month or year can cause people to spiral. Also when you get up if you can do five minutes

1 jump in place 60 seconds
2 swing arms horizontal up an down 60
seconds
3 dead arms lateral 60 seconds
4 golf swing move 60 seconds
5 knee raise 60 seconds

(this is a chinese based ritual)

This gets you moving and is almost meditative and possible to do even if you are busy. After finishing it is like a positivity bump. I do this also before bed. I also lay with feet up against wall 10 minutes before bed to calm me

I try to work out but it is not always possible but I do walk my dog and he is so sweet and a greeter so forces me to chat


Ernest Holmes books are a go to and I listen on audio before I sleep. I make a point of forgiving people who are really unforgivable and that has helped. Remember to be the energy you want to receive.

On grief-I can tell you that I cry about my mom daily. I am trying not to beat myself up for memories our bumpy relationship. She had a hard life. She loved me I know that. I am also recognizing when I repeat some of her behaviors out of anxiety so I understand now why she was strict. She was scared. Wish I had figured this out 20 years ago but glad I have now.

Take care!


Thank you for this thoughtful response. Today I continually reminded myself to be the energy I want to receive. It was a better day overall. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2025 22:26     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Not too long ago, I had a cry while walking through a food court. A random woman came up to me and asked if I would like a hug. I thought about it for a second and said yes please. She gave me a great hug and reassured me that I could get through it. Her kindness has stayed with me. Wish I could pay it forward and offer you a hug, OP. I hope you can find some small things to give you peace and joy as you navigate hard times.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2025 22:17     Subject: I feel like the universe is conspiring against me...
Anonymous wrote:I think about this all the time: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/reel/C0CD4YSAe7V/

If it's not one thing, it's another. It really helps me when I feel like you are feeling.


That’s really helpful. I like him.