Anonymous wrote:My husband does way more housework than my father did. .he does laundry, makes simple meals though he can't cook, washes dishes. He will clean but he prefers waiting until a room really needs it while I will clean even if it already looks clean enough to him. My father spent every evening in the recliner while my mother worked around him, he never even put us to bed!
However my dad did all kinds of "men's work" that my husband can't do and we have to hire out. My dad poured a concrete patio, built two decks around our house, did electrical stuff. Millennial men can't do any of this.

When men were men… However your husband doesn’t sound bad either. Glass is still half full.

Anyway men and women need to go back to their roots…. will result in happy families

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s actually doing a lot. Hire a cleaner or at a minimum stop deep cleaning every week. Our cleaner only comes every 2 weeks and we don’t have to do much in between - maybe a quick run with the Dyson here and there.

Get your kids to help fold laundry. Or just stop folding it. Separate it and give each person their pile to fold.

We do this, helps a lot. +1 to the cleaner bimonthly, also makes a big difference.

Op sounds like a whiner. Going by her husband’s work hours, he likely is a hardworking blue collar worker. Grad degrees don’t add much value unless medical or law. Not to mention insane tuition loans. Just not worth it.

op should not be advancing her career at the cost of the wellbeing of her marriage and family. Doing housework is primarily the women’s responsibility anyway.

My husband does way more housework than my father did. .he does laundry, makes simple meals though he can't cook, washes dishes. He will clean but he prefers waiting until a room really needs it while I will clean even if it already looks clean enough to him. My father spent every evening in the recliner while my mother worked around him, he never even put us to bed!
However my dad did all kinds of "men's work" that my husband can't do and we have to hire out. My dad poured a concrete patio, built two decks around our house, did electrical stuff. Millennial men can't do any of this.

Sounds like he’s actually doing a lot. Hire a cleaner or at a minimum stop deep cleaning every week. Our cleaner only comes every 2 weeks and we don’t have to do much in between - maybe a quick run with the Dyson here and there.

Get your kids to help fold laundry. Or just stop folding it. Separate it and give each person their pile to fold.

Im so glad I lucked into a great husband. He does his laundry always, most of the time the kids as well. Cleans dishes if he didn't cook. Cooks dinner 2ce a week, makes breakfast, and likes to grocery shop so he is the Costco runner. Makes lists and plans and does all financial planning. Takes kids to fun things and volunteers at school and does half their Dr appts etc.
We both WOH. I make a little more $ than him but his big contribution is investing and saving and not letting me spend everything frivolously. We long ago decided that no one wants to wash toilets or deep clean so we hired a weekly cleaner. Worth every penny in not arguing and a clean house.

My dad washed diapers and cooked and shopped. His dad didn't do diapers but worked and took care of everything financial while his mom raised kids and volunteered. But he spent quality time with kids and helped when asked. It's so critical to have examples how to be an involved father and partner. .

Anonymous wrote:Well, women fell for 'we can do it all' storyline. No, neither us nor men can. Men and women need each other. We need to fairly divide and responsibly deliver for the team. Your marriage's health and your family's happiness should come before advancement of your careers.

Buzz off back to the 1950s, please.

You have the wrong fairy tale. Go read The Little Red Hen and pay attention to the ending where she goes “I did all the work and now I am going to eat the bread all by myself.”

It is better than being Cinderella

Stop making his lunches and doing his laundry. Do not book a dentist appt for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the enormous club of women married to inadequate men. God why are men such losers, seriously. Someone should really write a PhD thesis on this phenomenon.

Women just complain more. DCUM is a good example. If they are so busy, how do they find time for DCUM all day everyday?

It's not about who complains more, it's about reality. Every single study shows women do more housework, handle more mental load. It is rare to have a husband who is successful in career and is 50/50 partner at home. Most women are able to achieve both, and many do 90% of the home stuff while holding down a career.

Stop deep cleaning the house every Saturday. That's insane

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the enormous club of women married to inadequate men. God why are men such losers, seriously. Someone should really write a PhD thesis on this phenomenon.

Women just complain more. DCUM is a good example. If they are so busy, how do they find time for DCUM all day everyday?

Anonymous wrote:sounds like you are doing 50/50.

It really does sound like you’re whining. He splits household chores. He splits childcare issues. Just stop with the meal prep for him and his laundry and just say no to the dentist.

My spouse did all of the yard work until my kids got older and I gotta say I could clean my house three times over before the yard was done and I got to work in air conditioning.

Welcome to the enormous club of women married to inadequate men. God why are men such losers, seriously. Someone should really write a PhD thesis on this phenomenon.

Hire household hep.