Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 14:25     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
Anonymous wrote:My son’s high school best friend decided not to room with him as a freshman, which is fine but I’m annoyed he decided literally during the room selection process midsummer. He went to orientation and decided to go with a kid he met there instead. My son didn’t have that opportunity as he couldn’t go to orientation due to other commitments until the fall.

My son is a nice drama free kid. Freshman year he’ll have a completely random roommate. My older daughter was going through the stress of sophomore roommate selection while taking OCHEM. That ended up being a drama filled section but junior and senior year no drama fortunately.

Any ideas of how I can encourage him to find friends to room with as a sophomore that will result in no drama other then trying to find a single?


Thread title should be mama drama instead
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 14:05     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
random is better.

also, you're a good mom and you've had 17-18 years with your kid. trust that you've taught him what he needs to handle these next few years. if he comes to you for advice, great. but the time for this kind of basic friendship advice is over.

move on to today's issues: get a packing list done and let's worth through it. set up a time to FaceTime home once a week (or whatever you two decide). stop in career services sometime this first semester (or whatever college specific advice you have).

I feel like what you're talking about is a recipe for anxiety, "dont f this up or you won't have a roommate next year either". that's not the message anyone needs now.

Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 14:01     Subject: Re:Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
My god the level of hovering and enmeshment with these kids. It is bonkers.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:58     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He needs to join a fraternity.


He’s quiet with a difficult STEM major.


He needs to join some sort of club/extracurricular. It doesn't need to be an exclusive resume building activity -- just something to get out of his room and meeting a variety of people. That way he'll have choices when it comes to sophomore year housing.



Or simply make a point of getting to know kids in his dorm. That's how most of us found roommates moving forward. It's okay that he's quiet, just needs to be open to conversations with the kids living around him.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:57     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He needs to join a fraternity.


He’s quiet with a difficult STEM major.


Why not switch to business or finance?


Not OP, but presumably he's interested in his stem major. Not everyone wants to take the easy way out.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:54     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He needs to join a fraternity.


He’s quiet with a difficult STEM major.


Why not switch to business or finance?
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:52     Subject: Re:Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
It's GOOD that he is not living with his high school friend. Chances are, they are both ready to grow in different ways.

I agree that he should join a club of some sort -- even if it's just something tied to his major. A fun club would be nice, too.

As far as the roommate, they don't have to be best friends, but some general agreement on cleanliness and guests usually leads to a decent experience.

Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:44     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
I had a random roommate my freshman year of college, and it turned out fine. I'm sure my child will be able to handle the same.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:44     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
My older one stuck with high school friends and it worked out except for a weird hiccup sophomore year.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:43     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He needs to join a fraternity.


He’s quiet with a difficult STEM major.


He needs to join some sort of club/extracurricular. It doesn't need to be an exclusive resume building activity -- just something to get out of his room and meeting a variety of people. That way he'll have choices when it comes to sophomore year housing.


Thank you! That is good advice. This is the type of advice I am looking for.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:43     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He needs to join a fraternity.


He’s quiet with a difficult STEM major.


Mine is a premed, all business, even more reason to just find someone you are compatible with in living habuts and hours kept. They have so little free time.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:42     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He needs to join a fraternity.


He’s quiet with a difficult STEM major.


He needs to join some sort of club/extracurricular. It doesn't need to be an exclusive resume building activity -- just something to get out of his room and meeting a variety of people. That way he'll have choices when it comes to sophomore year housing.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:42     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
My son will be living with his random roommate for the third year in a row. He may like his roommate.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:40     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
Anonymous wrote:He needs to join a fraternity.


He’s quiet with a difficult STEM major.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 13:40     Subject: Roommate Drama (Avoiding It)
It’s better to go random than a friend, almost always works out better. My son and his closest friend made at college purposely decided not to room together as they don’t want to jeopardize friendship. He’ll meet people this year and it’ll be fine. Worst case he can do random again.