I have 4 and for me, 4 has been better/easier than 3. My youngest two are 3 years apart and get along so well.

Congratulations and enjoy!

I had a surprise 4th (IVF for the other 3) and it was a shock but I got used to it and love it.

We have 3 and I hope we have a surprise 4th haha! My husbands not convinced we can do another but I secretly want #4. Take it as a blessing! It’ll be great - best wishes!

My sister had a surprise 4th pregnancy and bigger surprise with identical twins. It was crazy for a few years but it is fun now

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 is not easier than 3.

If you dont live in a red state, abortion is still an option.

You want to kill a baby because it’s inconvenient? You’re a sick f*ck!

It’s not a baby it’s a zygote.

In my experience, anything beyond 3 feels the same, but obviously things get more expensive. Our fourth made it two boys and two girls. It was scary at first especially being a surprise, but once DC4 arrived and we got into a routine, it was easier. Your children are older, so that helps, too. Make sure to include them in everything. Mine are teens now. Ours are very close, they do everything together and their friends overlap. It's great, I love our large family. Congrats, OP! You've got this.

I'm 1 of 4. We were 2 girls and a boy, then a 4th boy. I was sad when my mom announced we were having a 4th but he was a pretty easy kid and we all get along as adults. My mom said once she got over the hump of being outnumbered even with both parents around, it almost didn't matter how many kids there were. The only challenges were upgrading to a bigger car and not being able to stay in a single hotel room anymore. If you aren't willing to consider abortion and you don't miscarry, I'm sure you'll make the best of it--it may not be as big an adjustment in your day-to-day life as you think it will be. The bigger challenge for you sounds like it will be giving up on the feeling that your life turned out just like you wanted it to. But that is a useful lesson to learn, since it's inevitable that things you envision won't always come to pass.

Surprise? How's that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 is not easier than 3.

If you dont live in a red state, abortion is still an option.

Shut up. Agree, four is easier than three. I have five and the difficulty peaked when my third was a baby. It’s downhill, and increasingly more fun, from there.

What aspects are more fun?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aw I totally get having mixed feelings. How old are your other kids?

When the new baby arrives they'll be 7, 4, and 2.

Your 4th will actually be a great addition with these ages. 4 is hardly noticeable when you've managed 3. When you see your baby, you'll realize your life is now perfect again and wonder why you stressed. Congratulations. Enjoy the ride.

Anonymous wrote:4 is not easier than 3.

If you dont live in a red state, abortion is still an option.

Shut up. Agree, four is easier than three. I have five and the difficulty peaked when my third was a baby. It’s downhill, and increasingly more fun, from there.

My boss has a 4th child who is maybe 16 years younger than the oldest. He was a planned baby.

We share out personal pics at our staff meeting each week. This little guy (about 3-4) is having a great time and is very bonded with his 4th grade sister despite the large age gap.

My husband and I agreed on two kids and we're satisfied. But I do envy warm, loving large families. If you enjoy children, I think you will find it an easy adaptation. The people I know with 3-5 kids seem to just like the experience of parenting more than those of us who are a bit more worn out. I am talking about families that are not financially stressed. That is important to note.

There really is no such thing as this surprise unless you had a vasectomy fail.

Truly, if you are done, your husband needs to get a vasectomy tomorrow.

We're done and we're both permanently sterilized!

I, personally, wouldn't have a 4th because of all the health issues I experienced with #3. Good chance of losing my life or the baby. Actually fairly guaranteed. Hence why I'm done.

I'm a 3 of 4.

Don't get attached to the concept of it being a boy (we're 3 and 1 in my family). It's still 50/50.

Obviously I am biased but as #3 I felt I got lost in the mix on occasion. My older siblings did all the typical achievements first so it wasn't new, but I also wasn't the baby. So my biased view is to look out for #3 especially. My parents meant well and part of it was I was an easygoing kid so I never demanded a lot of attention.

Ultimately I really love my younger sister, I used to make up games for her, and we are quite close today as adults. 4 really isn't so bad.