Anonymous
07/20/2025 19:03
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
No. They think others are just like him. If others are not, why would they be.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 18:50
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone is toxic in their own unique way.
The ones who deny that are the ones you speak of.
This 100%. To all the PPs for instance, just listen to yourselves. None of you sound like them most gracious people in the world. Workplaces in particular bring out the worst in people. I work for a woman who was a strong supervisor and a major advocate for all her direct reports. Then she was overlooked for a well-deserved promotion in favor of a far less-qualified man, and she became more like the OP described. Many would now describe her as "toxic," but what about the "toxic" situation that put her there? I try to just separate people from their work lives and give most people grace.
Perfect example of toxic person blame
Yep, seems like 8/10 of the posters here are toxic and don't realize it and won't admit it even to themselves.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 18:49
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone is toxic in their own unique way.
The ones who deny that are the ones you speak of.
This is an excellent example of a toxic person, and a toxic mindset. No OP I would say most often they don't because they lack true self awareness, and see everyone esles as the propblem and/or learn just enough therapy speak to be manipulative
So you realize it?
Anonymous
07/20/2025 15:08
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone is toxic in their own unique way.
The ones who deny that are the ones you speak of.
This 100%. To all the PPs for instance, just listen to yourselves. None of you sound like them most gracious people in the world. Workplaces in particular bring out the worst in people. I work for a woman who was a strong supervisor and a major advocate for all her direct reports. Then she was overlooked for a well-deserved promotion in favor of a far less-qualified man, and she became more like the OP described. Many would now describe her as "toxic," but what about the "toxic" situation that put her there? I try to just separate people from their work lives and give most people grace.
Being rude, coarse, wrong, or even a flat out jerk, once, doesn't make someone "toxic". But staying in a dynamic where you're burned out, overlooked, abused, etc. and claiming zero responsibility for how that environment leads you to behave is 100% toxic. I'm sure all toxic people have a backstory/excuse, just like all toxic people have a choice.
Grace is for the occasional "life happens" honest mistake, not someone's habitual bad behavior.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 15:06
Subject: Re:Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:They are not aware they are toxic. When problems arise from their behavior, they easily blame others for them. Also, people like this often have a little cohort of people who have latched onto them and will support even their worst behavior. It's really interesting, but there are a lot of broken people in the world and this dynamic is bizarrely common. those hangers-on will happily tell the toxic person that she is the best and that anyone who doesn't like her is a hater, and in return the toxic person will reward them by treating them better than other people, so they enjoy an elevated position.
Ah, yes. The "flying monkeys".
Anonymous
07/20/2025 12:24
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
I live with one they are unbearable and they are totally clueless. No self awareness at all nor do they care for any.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:17
Subject: Re:Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:If she’s so awful, why isn’t she fired?
Unfortunately that's not how the world works.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 11:16
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone is toxic in their own unique way.
The ones who deny that are the ones you speak of.
This 100%. To all the PPs for instance, just listen to yourselves. None of you sound like them most gracious people in the world. Workplaces in particular bring out the worst in people. I work for a woman who was a strong supervisor and a major advocate for all her direct reports. Then she was overlooked for a well-deserved promotion in favor of a far less-qualified man, and she became more like the OP described. Many would now describe her as "toxic," but what about the "toxic" situation that put her there? I try to just separate people from their work lives and give most people grace.
Perfect example of toxic person blame
Anonymous
07/20/2025 10:56
Subject: Re:Do toxic people know they're toxic?
They are not aware they are toxic. When problems arise from their behavior, they easily blame others for them. Also, people like this often have a little cohort of people who have latched onto them and will support even their worst behavior. It's really interesting, but there are a lot of broken people in the world and this dynamic is bizarrely common. those hangers-on will happily tell the toxic person that she is the best and that anyone who doesn't like her is a hater, and in return the toxic person will reward them by treating them better than other people, so they enjoy an elevated position.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 10:39
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
No, they do not know their toxic they're blissfully unaware the damage they cause. Don't bother trying to show them or tell them it will be flipped back to you in a second. They will gaslight and point fingers never accepting that they're wrong that they cold EVER do anything wrong and you are the problem. They take zero accountability or fault. They lack any empathy. It's pretty scary to watch really. OP you are in a situation you can avoid this person so much better than this being your DH and your mother. Stay away from crazy.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 09:46
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
I have observed four truly toxic people in my lifetime. I do not think they were aware, because when people inevitably turn away from them, they blame others. They also frequently fail to notice that they are bing "managed" by one or more people to protect others from the toxicity. Each ultimately became lonely, isolated, and bitter by age 50.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 09:25
Subject: Re:Do toxic people know they're toxic?
If she’s so awful, why isn’t she fired?
Anonymous
07/20/2025 09:07
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
A lot of people can be both fun and hateful. Do they recognize it and try to change? A toxic person doesn't. They live their life the same way day after day.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 08:58
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My mother is toxic af. Criticizes other women’s bodies to the point of making them cry while saying it’s because she’s a nurse and cares about their health (she has not worked as a nurse for 40 years). She complains about not having enough money despite living in a mansion close-in and yet makes fun of people for living in exurbs. She attends church weekly and identifies as a superior Christian, yet does not exhibit any of the grace, humility or generosity that Christians should aspire to. She makes any family event, whether a wedding or a funeral, all about her and has to be the star of the show.
Sister, is that you?
PP, I feel for you. Similar mother, I am nearly certain she has narcissistic personality disorder--not the social media portrayal of it-but the real thing.
+2
Still recovering from being "raised" by a narcissistic mother. She can be so much fun but is at her core empty and hateful. So disturbing. And the lies! Nothing but lies.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 08:53
Subject: Do toxic people know they're toxic?
They don’t know and/or don’t care. Super self-centered and yes, lack of self-awareness as a previous person said. Lack of empathy too.